I woke this morning, ahem, this afternoon to find that I no longer had a throat. No, that random infected bitch from my dream hadn't ACTUALLY ripped my throat out. Dear God that would be very messy. And obviously impossible. And also would suck as I would be dead - why the fuck was that the last thing on my list?? O_O No, It had just closed up so much that it felt like it had become a straw. A very thin straw. With a blockage in the middle. Dear God in heaven, it was rather hideous!
Eventually, everyone in the flat buggered off to go home for the weekend/over night, leaving me on my jack jones and bored shitless. I spent most of the day in my jim jams watching the rest of Quarantine - verdict = rofl at the ending, and working up the courage to watch The Mothman Prophecies. Now, I am not scared by horror films. I find them amusing. They may make me jump, maybe. But you will be hard pressed to find one that scares me. I first saw this film when I was 15. It's a 12 - I cannot watch it ¬¬ It's not the whole film, just the voice of the mothman! It makes me shiver just thinking about it. Another film I can't watch? Donnie Darko. Mainly because it is utterly SHITE but alo due to Frank's fucking voice! Argh makes me shver just thinking about them!! And jesus, if Frank ever told me he's been watching me, I wouldn' fucking go downstairs to see him - I'd shit myself instead!
Ended up readin One Piece to see what all the fuss was about and ended up getting sucked in to it!! Nooooo! I had to read the Wallflower to calm down. The Wallflower is a romantic comedy, and is extremely funny. One Piece is a 'comedy' about pirates. Naah fanks, fink I'll pass! Not before I'd read 33 chapters O_O Also watched Goldmember while trying to make some notes.That failed - I got distacted and ended up playing a load of online games. And watching the film. Ah well,maybe later.
Or not. Daddyyyy rang and offered to take me out for a mealage. Not gonna turn that down, you know, free food and that. Oh, and also the fact that I haven't seen him in months. Had a lovely evening just chatting and catching up, but I got an awful lump in my throat, not caused by the illness. The conersation turned to my stepmother and the fact that he hadn't seen her real dad in 23 or so years. A similar situation I was in until I was 16 and turned detective, so to speak. My dad doesn't know that I've found Kevin,and tonight was my oppotunity to finally tell him.
I couldn't do it. I chickened out again! Argh! I really am so pathetic. I'm scared about how he would react. Not his reaction, but how things would be between us afterwards. I'm scared to my core that he would no longer see me as his daughter. I know he wouldn't obviously treat me differently,but I know that something like that would change an attitude, deep down. Every time I try to do it I think of how things will change and I get scared. It rips me apart to think that he might think that I would see him any differently, initially, not knowing how things stand between me and Kevin.There is no doubt in my mind who my dad is - Andrew. Kevin made me, that is all. He can go rot for all I care. Argh.... This is the main stress in my life, and has been for the last 2 years. And by the look of things, this is how they are going to stay for years to come. I love my dad, but it's like he's stabbing me in the heart whenever he says how proud he is of me.
I think the stress made me even more ill - he took one look at me and went 'Bloody hell! you look rough!' Looking in the mirror I found myself looking at a damp piece of paper, and I couldn't stop shaking. Excellent. I have a fever - I am freezing, yet sweating like an abslute pig. Despite the fact that pigs can't sweat, obviously. So am sat in the flat, alone, feeling very sorry for myself. I only cheered up when I found some 'Sonic Sez' skits - "There's nothing cooler than being hugged by someone you love, but when someone touches you in a place or way that makes you feel uncomfortable, then that''s no good. The first thing you should do is say 'NO' the n get the heck outta there! Finally,tell someone you trust like your parents, your teacher or a police man!" O_____________O
Am watching the Pagemaster, another film I loved/was scared of in my childhood(I was really pathetic as a kid - I was scared of everything. Ohhh,how things have changed! Well, a bit.) The librarian is actually the definition of 'paedophile' O_O I can now hear movement in the flat, oh Jesus Christ, so if there is no blog tomorrow I have been killed by a random infected bitch ripping my throat out or horror flatmate ripping my face off with her bare hands and pounding the shit out of it.
Friday, 8 October 2010
Thursday, 7 October 2010
I'll give him something to wank over!
That I will - he is only human, of course ^_^
There is something wrong with you when you dream about dying and wake up smiling. Seriously. Yes - here comes another dream. For the last 5 days or so Ive been having the same dream, well apart from that dream about the chickens, which had Lissi in absolute stitches. I keep ending up in this odd house (with different people each time) and everyone has a set colour - mine is green, of course ^_^ And so - last night there was this weird virus thing, and myself and a group of people spent AGES saving a load o kids and people and hiding out in this old bus waiting to be rescued (stay with me, peoples, I spared details if I've alreay told you to save boredom, but here it comes). Aaaaanyways, we were hiding out in this old bus and a helicopter arrived across the way and a group of people, mostly children of course, set off to be rescued. They got caught up in a bunch of the zombie...things - kinda like zombies from th Dawn of the Dead remake i.e. really fast O_O For some reason there were skittles EVERYWHERE! I was represented by the blueberry skittle - I don't know either! And people were becoming infected/trying to get back in to the bus (which for some reason had turned in to an old lorry.) I managed to block the bus door shut, but some stupid arse climbed in to the lorry cabin and let some infected old bitch in. I gave in, and quietly slipped away after my neck was ripped open. What a lovely end ¬¬
It doesn't end there though - I awoke in that strange house again. Yet again, I walked downstairs naked (I've done this every time I've 'visited' this 'house') Before yet again putting a towel around myself (My uni towel, oddly). My mum was there this time, and was upset, but told me not to worry - I was still of this world (???) And the first thing I asked was whether I had to go to uni that day, fearing failure. She set off in a 4x4 full of people (including the random old bitch that ripped my throat out) to tell them I wouldn't be in. Ever again. O_O I tried to get on facebook, of course, and couldn't type a message. Adam was there for some reason, and could still see me - he needed to go to Claire's accessories for a new necklace. O______________O Yeah, I know. Well, actually I don't. All I know is that it's rather gay. And not in a 'my laptop has broken - how gay' sort of way. I mean a 'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE MEN!' kinda gay. We went to uni campus, which for some reason was LGGS and I was carrying a load of bags - when crossing a road a group of girls panicked. They 'saw' me - not physically me, but an outline. Not a load of bags hovvering in mid air though, obviously. Twats. And Alan Rickman was inside dressed as Snape - I poked him for a bit cause he couldn't see me, but then he learned. I'd poke him (bothering Snape tee hee) until he got pissed off and yelled, but as only he could see me he looked like a knob. This bit is extremely odd - I love Alan Rickman!
The worse part? All these people were writing all these messages for me on facebook - RIP, I'll miss you, sob sob etc and I couldn't write back. I really wanted them to know how much they all meant to me, and I couldn't even do that. My mum got back and could no longer see me, and I felt like leaving Earth. It was actually an awful dream looking back - weird, but awful. Oddly, when my alarm went off and I snoozed it, I went straight back to that house. Dear God, I hope I don't end up there. It's limbo - that's the only way it can be described.
Up and at 'em to make sarnies (OMFG) and a bimble to uni with Alex, Amy and Sallie. To our absolute horror, poor Lisa was stood with Fagface. Who would not stop going on about her FUCKING FRIED EGG PICTURE OF FRIED EGGS IN THE SHAPE OF A PENIS THAT ISN'T EVEN HERS FRIED EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem. We waited outside the lecture hall for bloody ages as 2 people were sat in there, so we thought they were having a lecture just before ours. Turns out they were our new classmates and so we all looked like twats. Physically fell asleep, yet again, but this time sitting completely upright, so I looked like a total wanker. After the break I was feeling awake and refreshed, and mega excited to see a video of the execution of Ted Bundy! Theeennnnnn there was a powercut - the entire campus was plunged in to darkness. Thank God we weren't in the lift - I would have died. Not from plunging several floors below, but from having a major spazz attack and smashing my head on the wall.
During the break we spent ages discussing horror films/murderers etc and the subject of the Human Centipede came up (as did our lunch after we'd watched the trailer) A bunch of us are going to Lisa's in order to watch it now, of course. Cause we're all sick like that ^_^ Got home ealry and found a new printer! Wooo! But with no usb cable - no cable, no actual printing ¬¬ Bugger.
Helped out Lissi and Beckie in le kitchen (who was not well, bless her!) and had a whale of a time, followed by lovely meal. Sweet and sour meatballs, which were nom and it was a really nice evening. Beckie's stories of her flatmate that just stays in and wanks all the time were horrifying, but as the title says, I'd give him something to wank over! Beckie bought some popcorn and we had so much delight watching it pop. At some point we ended up throwing things out of the window on to the open window of the flat below - including wet tissues and teabags O__O Twas bloody hilarious though - then Lissi and I walked Beckie back. Me wearing my slippers, looking extremely sexy/cool, naturally... After breaking in to several blocks at Sir Peter Hilton (not breaking in as such, just wandering around trying to find people) and Beckie getting in to the tumbledryer - which was epic lol! We wandered home, down a road that I have now learned to be called Stab Alley O___________________O
After loitering for a bit I came back and skyped my mum and then my Sexy Jexy, which was loverly ^_________^ Then popped over to Abi's for more drinking times. Yet again got a little tipsy and Katy got completely rat arsed. Twas a good night, which ended with Abi, Am and myself all sat in the kitchen singing disney songs and discussing Rasputin. As I was leaving their flat I saw Liss struggling to load her car up in order to go home so I had a chattage with her for a bit. Inerstingly, some of the guys from monday night live here and now I am suddenly seeing them EVERYWHERE! Do the fucking off thing, please!
Ahhhh no lectures tomorrow - win! But also - no flatmates tomorrow - boo! I am all on my lonesomes tomorrow night :( Oh, won't that be just stimulating...
There is something wrong with you when you dream about dying and wake up smiling. Seriously. Yes - here comes another dream. For the last 5 days or so Ive been having the same dream, well apart from that dream about the chickens, which had Lissi in absolute stitches. I keep ending up in this odd house (with different people each time) and everyone has a set colour - mine is green, of course ^_^ And so - last night there was this weird virus thing, and myself and a group of people spent AGES saving a load o kids and people and hiding out in this old bus waiting to be rescued (stay with me, peoples, I spared details if I've alreay told you to save boredom, but here it comes). Aaaaanyways, we were hiding out in this old bus and a helicopter arrived across the way and a group of people, mostly children of course, set off to be rescued. They got caught up in a bunch of the zombie...things - kinda like zombies from th Dawn of the Dead remake i.e. really fast O_O For some reason there were skittles EVERYWHERE! I was represented by the blueberry skittle - I don't know either! And people were becoming infected/trying to get back in to the bus (which for some reason had turned in to an old lorry.) I managed to block the bus door shut, but some stupid arse climbed in to the lorry cabin and let some infected old bitch in. I gave in, and quietly slipped away after my neck was ripped open. What a lovely end ¬¬
It doesn't end there though - I awoke in that strange house again. Yet again, I walked downstairs naked (I've done this every time I've 'visited' this 'house') Before yet again putting a towel around myself (My uni towel, oddly). My mum was there this time, and was upset, but told me not to worry - I was still of this world (???) And the first thing I asked was whether I had to go to uni that day, fearing failure. She set off in a 4x4 full of people (including the random old bitch that ripped my throat out) to tell them I wouldn't be in. Ever again. O_O I tried to get on facebook, of course, and couldn't type a message. Adam was there for some reason, and could still see me - he needed to go to Claire's accessories for a new necklace. O______________O Yeah, I know. Well, actually I don't. All I know is that it's rather gay. And not in a 'my laptop has broken - how gay' sort of way. I mean a 'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE MEN!' kinda gay. We went to uni campus, which for some reason was LGGS and I was carrying a load of bags - when crossing a road a group of girls panicked. They 'saw' me - not physically me, but an outline. Not a load of bags hovvering in mid air though, obviously. Twats. And Alan Rickman was inside dressed as Snape - I poked him for a bit cause he couldn't see me, but then he learned. I'd poke him (bothering Snape tee hee) until he got pissed off and yelled, but as only he could see me he looked like a knob. This bit is extremely odd - I love Alan Rickman!
The worse part? All these people were writing all these messages for me on facebook - RIP, I'll miss you, sob sob etc and I couldn't write back. I really wanted them to know how much they all meant to me, and I couldn't even do that. My mum got back and could no longer see me, and I felt like leaving Earth. It was actually an awful dream looking back - weird, but awful. Oddly, when my alarm went off and I snoozed it, I went straight back to that house. Dear God, I hope I don't end up there. It's limbo - that's the only way it can be described.
Up and at 'em to make sarnies (OMFG) and a bimble to uni with Alex, Amy and Sallie. To our absolute horror, poor Lisa was stood with Fagface. Who would not stop going on about her FUCKING FRIED EGG PICTURE OF FRIED EGGS IN THE SHAPE OF A PENIS THAT ISN'T EVEN HERS FRIED EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem. We waited outside the lecture hall for bloody ages as 2 people were sat in there, so we thought they were having a lecture just before ours. Turns out they were our new classmates and so we all looked like twats. Physically fell asleep, yet again, but this time sitting completely upright, so I looked like a total wanker. After the break I was feeling awake and refreshed, and mega excited to see a video of the execution of Ted Bundy! Theeennnnnn there was a powercut - the entire campus was plunged in to darkness. Thank God we weren't in the lift - I would have died. Not from plunging several floors below, but from having a major spazz attack and smashing my head on the wall.
During the break we spent ages discussing horror films/murderers etc and the subject of the Human Centipede came up (as did our lunch after we'd watched the trailer) A bunch of us are going to Lisa's in order to watch it now, of course. Cause we're all sick like that ^_^ Got home ealry and found a new printer! Wooo! But with no usb cable - no cable, no actual printing ¬¬ Bugger.
Helped out Lissi and Beckie in le kitchen (who was not well, bless her!) and had a whale of a time, followed by lovely meal. Sweet and sour meatballs, which were nom and it was a really nice evening. Beckie's stories of her flatmate that just stays in and wanks all the time were horrifying, but as the title says, I'd give him something to wank over! Beckie bought some popcorn and we had so much delight watching it pop. At some point we ended up throwing things out of the window on to the open window of the flat below - including wet tissues and teabags O__O Twas bloody hilarious though - then Lissi and I walked Beckie back. Me wearing my slippers, looking extremely sexy/cool, naturally... After breaking in to several blocks at Sir Peter Hilton (not breaking in as such, just wandering around trying to find people) and Beckie getting in to the tumbledryer - which was epic lol! We wandered home, down a road that I have now learned to be called Stab Alley O___________________O
After loitering for a bit I came back and skyped my mum and then my Sexy Jexy, which was loverly ^_________^ Then popped over to Abi's for more drinking times. Yet again got a little tipsy and Katy got completely rat arsed. Twas a good night, which ended with Abi, Am and myself all sat in the kitchen singing disney songs and discussing Rasputin. As I was leaving their flat I saw Liss struggling to load her car up in order to go home so I had a chattage with her for a bit. Inerstingly, some of the guys from monday night live here and now I am suddenly seeing them EVERYWHERE! Do the fucking off thing, please!
Ahhhh no lectures tomorrow - win! But also - no flatmates tomorrow - boo! I am all on my lonesomes tomorrow night :( Oh, won't that be just stimulating...
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Erm, Er, I'm Quite Well Hung :)
That I am ;) Jade and Myself hasing a picatoor session before the bus arrived. She is drunk. I am not. ¬¬
I had the weirdest dream last night. I'm sorry, I know that everyone else around me begins to start dreaming as soon as those words are mentioned. But it was odd. Having a cock (teehee) around the chickens is hard (lolz =3) as he will fuck them and then they tend to sit on the eggs, giving little things time to start growing, so back at home there have been times when I've cracked eggs open to find red spots, foetuses and, most hideously, a fully developed little chick. O___________O Anyways, I dreamt I cracked open a store-bought egg here (in to a flask, for some reason. I was gonna scramble eggs by shaking it, methinks.) to find a full chick. My hideous vomiting noises and cries of "omg girls don't come and look DON'T COME AND LOOK" were unnecessary - as I was putting the thing in the BIN (I originally typed 'bed' - what the actual FUCK am I on???) I found it was breathing, and so blowing on its face made it wake up. I ended up keeping it in a matchbox coated in clingfilm in order to keep it warm. My reasonings? If I can block off all the air in there, eventually its breathing will warm the box up. Surprisingly it worked! Until I took it round to Aunty Sam's house and Juno, Bonnie and Buble ate it. Oh...
I was meant to being going in to town with Hayley this morning/arvie. About half 12. Yeahhhhh - I woke up at quarter past. By woke up I mean I got out of bed and bimbled around the kitchen for a bit. I made a fry up for myself! ^_^ Mega proud! ... Even if it was just scrambly egg (which was heartbreaking as it was those lovely little eggs from when Lissi's mates came over) basgetty hoops (Don't ask. Tis another one of those word things of mine XD) and toast (Only cause Lissi needed help finishing off her bread) So my claim of cooking a fry up was a complete lie, basically. It was bloody nom though! Also did ALL the washing up - I felt so proud of myself. Then I actually finished tidying my room! I swear there's something wrong with me today!
Even worse? I did some uni work! Well, I tried. I couldn't get on to the bloody website where my work is listed all the time. So cue a mass panic/sort out of previous notes. After a trip to Sainsburys to buy foods - nom nom 30p choccyyyyy! AND BREAD!!! I love bread! And FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH FIIIIIIIIIINGEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRS!!!!!!!! We were stood outside and the homeless guy normally seen on Saddler Gate was sat by the cash machine (Why sit there and ask for change? People are going to cash machines to probably get money out so that they themselves can get change!) and I was like 'Awwww mannnn, gonna have a fish finger sarnie tonight!' It was like I was gloating - "Ha! enjoy your bread and cheese IF YOU'RE LUCKY!!" I'm going to hell...
Literally RAN to Sallie's to borrow a text book we have to read tomorrow. A textbook I own. A textbook that is in my room. In Lincolnshire. ¬¬ then popped in to town to get some clothes back from Jade, who was not there. So basically, I had a lovely walk in to town. To do nothing. Which was sooooo much fun. ¬¬ The number of bloody times I've been up and down those bloody stairs today is unreal! I did get something out of it though, as I was saying to Lissi earlier: "You know that poster with the dog on it I said I was going to steal?" "Yeah?" "I stole it :)"
I was being antisocial/tired in my room noming some rice pudding when Vetty invited me downstairs to play pool. Can't really say no to that, can I? Despite being absolutely shit at it. As predicted, Vetty was winning for aaaaaaaaaaaaages then I suddenly overtook and only had to pot the black ball. After knocking it around the table for a bit Vetty eventually potted her last ball and potted the black extremely quickly. Bugger. A couple of girls were watchin Hitch in there at the time, so we just plonked our arses down and joined them, talking loudly of course ^_^
Had a mega good time with Lissi once I popped back upstairs - I had to fake tan her back. She took her bra off ;) oooer missus! We chatted for ages about all sorts - the people loudly having sex that I heard, the weird lesbian lady, James' extremely high singing voice (but also extremely in tune! Singing voice) and my impression of my old rape alarm. Originally it was a very shrill alarm, doing its job etc. I used to set it off on purpose just to scare the shit out of random men walking past me, and eventually it began to ran out of juice. It went from a shrill alarm to a sultry purr - the sort of noise that would encourage a rapist rather than deter them. *Purrrrr* "Oh, you like that, don't you, you dirty bitch?" She also told me of her nomtastic sticky toffee pudding she had tonight. Well, I had rice pudding, which is just as posh and exotic. We then watched the Midnight Beasts = rofl. And some kid having a major spazz attack cause his mum had cancelled jis World of Warcraft. Just rofl.
Hayley wouldn't let me draw on Ben's face while he slept.. :( Even if it was with Noel's army face paint. They eventually teetered off, both wearing extremely tight new shoes. I'm feeling some blisters are going to present themselves soon. Ohhhh dearrr. So yes. I am here now reading my books for tomorrow (Well, obviously not NOW now - I am blogging) watching Alan Carr. And I am bored shitless... Ah well - last lecture tomorrow then the weekend!!! Woooo~!
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
CLEANSING MILK!
Last night was a good night, as The Black Eyed Peas always say tonight will be. At half 6 I went to pick up Jade from work so we could go and do drinking things in town. Dan was due to pick us up from the taxi rank by the Assembly rooms, but naturally we were stood in the wrong place. We stood there long enough for me to do my 'sexy' 'Start On Monday' dance for the drivers, who started heckling us. O_O
Niiiiace.
Minced around asda for a bit to buy boozes and that. Ended up hiding a bottle of caribbean twist in a box of tissues. Don't ask. ¬¬ Then ended up chatting to Aunty Sam for donkies about ye olden times (whilst knocking back the booze, of course) we ended up missing a load of buses in to town.... While waiting for the bus we had a massive photo sesh - while practically raping a bus stop sign I got my heel stuck in the mud, and felt the need to point it out for the purpose of Jade, who probably couldn't see it as she was laughing so hard. A van load of grubby old men in a van went past and shouted and waved, sexually of course. We were both stunned. They then went past again. O_O Then another car honked and someone waved, so I began to mouth off at them. It was Aunty Sam. Woops...
Teetered on the bus to be greeted by 2 chavs who instantly began shouting stuff at us. I got called a MILF. Yeah. Of course. Know the meaning of that word? Clearly not. I made a point of loudly talking to Jade about her 'boyfriend' (who I made up) and about how he worked as a bouncer and was coming out tonight to make sure no douchebags heckled us. She, as the lightweight she is, loudly replied "Oh no, he used to be a TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ¬¬ "... Not... quiiiite the effect I was going for here, Jade, but we'll ignore it for now." As the TWATS got off the bus they said "Hey, how would you 2 like to suck my dick?" "You wish" said Jade, but the one that made her literally fall off her seat, was my reply: "What dick?" ^_^
Off to Standing Order. I fancied chips. Chips and a Woo woo pitcher ftw But Blue Note was still shut, so I FINALLY got to go to the Bellend, ahem, I mean Inn. I have wanted to go there since I was about 9 years old, ever since I found out it was haunted. Shame I went there to do drinking and not ghosthunting. Ah well, can't win them all. We met this lovely girl who was roaring drunk but kept complimenting us, which was lovely ^_^ Even though she was majorly pissed, it was nice to hear someone say I have pretty eyes, a stranger no less... despite being female.. ¬¬ Having spoken to her since, she did mean it XD
Got chatting to some bloke outside Bluenote, who then proceeded to get roaring drunk extremely quickly and came on to us. A LOT. To give you a taster, and prehaps to solidify what teenage magazines will tell you, a man will lie about loving you to get sex. I know this because that bloke started by asking me to strip, then attempted to take my top off, which earned him a smack round the face. This didn't stop him though - he then said, and I quote, "I love you. Let's have sex" Denined. ¬¬ So girlies - men will lie, and that is hideous. So just do what I did - a swift kick between the legs and a word with the bouncers will sort him out. Although he tried to nick a girl's handbag on his way out.
By this point, Jade was completely off her face, screaming 'It's CLEANSING MILK' and rubbing my face (from Diddy Dick and Dom, nd is actually hilarious) so we headed to Mosh. It was in Mosh where I FINALLY began to feel the effects of the drinks, at last, and also where a guy almost sucked my tongue bar off. O_O Yucks. He then got my number from Jade, and spent the remainder of the night calling me. FUCK OFF! Dan found my rhyming at some twats sitting on a bench extrememly hilarious - last time I saw him I was 15. He found it really odd that I'm now an adult and can drink, drive (not all at once) and have actually got even more hilarious.
Ughhhh lectures... I genuinely fell asleep in the last lecture, but woke up in time to win a fiver from Sam - I was able to spot the most errors in the referencing list in the class. No, I didn't get out the notes I made last time about how to reference properly. No, not at all. Chillaxed with Lissi and Hayley in le kitchen and Lissi did some dancing - she was the awesomes! ^_^ REally want to see River Dance now, though... :( Was so bored I ended up watching the first Bean movie. As much as I love Rowan Atkinson, Mr Bean is retarded. And not in a 'so retarded it's funny' way. in a 'OMG why the hell is this funny? His character is retarded in more ways than one'. I hate that bugger...
Niiiiace.
Minced around asda for a bit to buy boozes and that. Ended up hiding a bottle of caribbean twist in a box of tissues. Don't ask. ¬¬ Then ended up chatting to Aunty Sam for donkies about ye olden times (whilst knocking back the booze, of course) we ended up missing a load of buses in to town.... While waiting for the bus we had a massive photo sesh - while practically raping a bus stop sign I got my heel stuck in the mud, and felt the need to point it out for the purpose of Jade, who probably couldn't see it as she was laughing so hard. A van load of grubby old men in a van went past and shouted and waved, sexually of course. We were both stunned. They then went past again. O_O Then another car honked and someone waved, so I began to mouth off at them. It was Aunty Sam. Woops...
Teetered on the bus to be greeted by 2 chavs who instantly began shouting stuff at us. I got called a MILF. Yeah. Of course. Know the meaning of that word? Clearly not. I made a point of loudly talking to Jade about her 'boyfriend' (who I made up) and about how he worked as a bouncer and was coming out tonight to make sure no douchebags heckled us. She, as the lightweight she is, loudly replied "Oh no, he used to be a TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ¬¬ "... Not... quiiiite the effect I was going for here, Jade, but we'll ignore it for now." As the TWATS got off the bus they said "Hey, how would you 2 like to suck my dick?" "You wish" said Jade, but the one that made her literally fall off her seat, was my reply: "What dick?" ^_^
Off to Standing Order. I fancied chips. Chips and a Woo woo pitcher ftw But Blue Note was still shut, so I FINALLY got to go to the Bellend, ahem, I mean Inn. I have wanted to go there since I was about 9 years old, ever since I found out it was haunted. Shame I went there to do drinking and not ghosthunting. Ah well, can't win them all. We met this lovely girl who was roaring drunk but kept complimenting us, which was lovely ^_^ Even though she was majorly pissed, it was nice to hear someone say I have pretty eyes, a stranger no less... despite being female.. ¬¬ Having spoken to her since, she did mean it XD
Got chatting to some bloke outside Bluenote, who then proceeded to get roaring drunk extremely quickly and came on to us. A LOT. To give you a taster, and prehaps to solidify what teenage magazines will tell you, a man will lie about loving you to get sex. I know this because that bloke started by asking me to strip, then attempted to take my top off, which earned him a smack round the face. This didn't stop him though - he then said, and I quote, "I love you. Let's have sex" Denined. ¬¬ So girlies - men will lie, and that is hideous. So just do what I did - a swift kick between the legs and a word with the bouncers will sort him out. Although he tried to nick a girl's handbag on his way out.
By this point, Jade was completely off her face, screaming 'It's CLEANSING MILK' and rubbing my face (from Diddy Dick and Dom, nd is actually hilarious) so we headed to Mosh. It was in Mosh where I FINALLY began to feel the effects of the drinks, at last, and also where a guy almost sucked my tongue bar off. O_O Yucks. He then got my number from Jade, and spent the remainder of the night calling me. FUCK OFF! Dan found my rhyming at some twats sitting on a bench extrememly hilarious - last time I saw him I was 15. He found it really odd that I'm now an adult and can drink, drive (not all at once) and have actually got even more hilarious.
Ughhhh lectures... I genuinely fell asleep in the last lecture, but woke up in time to win a fiver from Sam - I was able to spot the most errors in the referencing list in the class. No, I didn't get out the notes I made last time about how to reference properly. No, not at all. Chillaxed with Lissi and Hayley in le kitchen and Lissi did some dancing - she was the awesomes! ^_^ REally want to see River Dance now, though... :( Was so bored I ended up watching the first Bean movie. As much as I love Rowan Atkinson, Mr Bean is retarded. And not in a 'so retarded it's funny' way. in a 'OMG why the hell is this funny? His character is retarded in more ways than one'. I hate that bugger...
Monday, 4 October 2010
Sometimes I Feel Like Throwing My HANDS UP IN ZE AIR!!
I KNOW I CAN CONT ON YOU! That is a wonderful quote from Vladamir, aka Wagner. As soon as he came on screen (O_O) I screamed "OMG It's VLADAMIR!!" Vladamir is the definition of 'the sex' See? 'The Sex. Adjective. Meaning Vladamir. As in "Corrr, that bloke is totally VLADAMIR!!"' We watched the X Factor.. But anyway.
Lissi and I did some washing before I left, well, I say we did, but really Lissi did it and I just stood there. As per always, methinks. There were bugger all machines free until one finished and the owner didn't come and claim her items. We know it was a girl as, much to ?Lissi's amusement, she had the biggest bras in the known universe. Yes, bigger than mine. She had the lovely task of getting all her stuff out of the machine and putting it in a bag. I was assigned the task of writing an explanation note. I wasn't allowed to write 'p.s. Nice knockers ;)' on it :(
I was happily sat on the bus. Well, not happily as such. Was sehr frightened about getting lost. This man came and SAT next to me. H didn't just sit next to me, he SAT next to me! It was like he assaulted the seat with his arse. Even better? 2 youths, otherwise known as complete twats started heckling a girl as she got off the bus so as I went past I leaned down and hissed "A little growing up wouldn't go amiss!" Which was great. That is not the end. I then got stuck behind a man walking at -15 mph spreading himself all over the pavement. I eventually charged past him and promptly tripped up. The bus was still there. Excellent. What a hypocritical thing to do, Leah. Has a gold star.
I ate fooooooods! Sunday roast! NOM NOM NOM!!! And spent the evening watching hideous 'porn' films. Just don't ask - they were bloody hilarious! Jade and my aunt spent the entire night laughing, not at what we were watching, but at my laugh. It wasn't a laugh, it was more of a manly guffaw. Decided we are going out tonight, to pick up owls and that. ;)
Mega exciting stuff. Speaking of exciting stuff - KFC instatly hired me cause I am the only person who's ever worked there that can do more than one station. For The Win!!! I start on monday. I am meant to be cleaning my room right now, but am instead watching Mock The Week that I stole from Ben. Only for a bit though ^_^
Lissi and I did some washing before I left, well, I say we did, but really Lissi did it and I just stood there. As per always, methinks. There were bugger all machines free until one finished and the owner didn't come and claim her items. We know it was a girl as, much to ?Lissi's amusement, she had the biggest bras in the known universe. Yes, bigger than mine. She had the lovely task of getting all her stuff out of the machine and putting it in a bag. I was assigned the task of writing an explanation note. I wasn't allowed to write 'p.s. Nice knockers ;)' on it :(
I was happily sat on the bus. Well, not happily as such. Was sehr frightened about getting lost. This man came and SAT next to me. H didn't just sit next to me, he SAT next to me! It was like he assaulted the seat with his arse. Even better? 2 youths, otherwise known as complete twats started heckling a girl as she got off the bus so as I went past I leaned down and hissed "A little growing up wouldn't go amiss!" Which was great. That is not the end. I then got stuck behind a man walking at -15 mph spreading himself all over the pavement. I eventually charged past him and promptly tripped up. The bus was still there. Excellent. What a hypocritical thing to do, Leah. Has a gold star.
I ate fooooooods! Sunday roast! NOM NOM NOM!!! And spent the evening watching hideous 'porn' films. Just don't ask - they were bloody hilarious! Jade and my aunt spent the entire night laughing, not at what we were watching, but at my laugh. It wasn't a laugh, it was more of a manly guffaw. Decided we are going out tonight, to pick up owls and that. ;)
Mega exciting stuff. Speaking of exciting stuff - KFC instatly hired me cause I am the only person who's ever worked there that can do more than one station. For The Win!!! I start on monday. I am meant to be cleaning my room right now, but am instead watching Mock The Week that I stole from Ben. Only for a bit though ^_^
Saturday, 2 October 2010
EXTRA LARGE EXTRA DESIGNER CHAIR!!!
This is what I saw on my way to the bus stop. It was indeed extra large. Yes, it was extra designer. It was also extra hideous. It wouldn't have been out of place in P Diddy's living room, so why sell it in Derby? He doesn't live here. Anyways - does he even need furniture? Or does he just pay people to create furniture-esque shapes and sit on them, Bruno style? Why am I thinking so much in to this?!? O_O
I was planning on visiting my grandparents today, so I set an alarm for 12. I woke up 1 minute before the bugger went off. Um, gay?! ¬¬ Hayley helped me cook my super noodles properly. In a saucepan. They tasted of stuff! ^_^ Like, chicken stuff! Like they were meant to. Love it - even if the buggers did burn my hand... :( I watched the Powerpuff Girls, because I am such a cool kid. I'd forgotten how A) crap it actually is and B) how much it still makes me laugh. What am I, 6? It reminds me of the old days... sigh... when CArtoon Network had decent cartoons. A time when my dad let me name the car 'Chuggaboom' due to my TV addiction.
I had planned to get the bus to their house, armed with the knowledge that they live in Oakwood. It was actually amazing how many buses went to Oakwood at the same time - 6!!!!!!!!!!! Why do they need 6 buses going to the same place? WHYYYYYY?!? *ahem* It was pot luck that I got on a bus that took me where I wanted to go. I was rather terrified as we were on our way there - blatantly not as terrified as the group of people gathered by the side of the road around an unconscious youth. Woops. As soon as I saw somewhere I vaguely recognised I literally ran off the bus.
I knew this day would come, but I didn't know it would come so soon - My nan doesn't know who I am anymore. I was talking to my grandfather as she came down the stairs. She took one look at me and said "Oh, who are you?" "I'm Leah, Andrew's daughter? Your granddaughter?" "....Andrew doesn't have a daughter, only sons..." Although it's technically true, it was really painful to hear it from her. I know she can't help it, but I had to stop myself from crying. I was crying for real though 10 minutes later when my grandfather made me sit through a video about some old train building that had been turned in to a building for the college. I love my grandfather, but it nearly killed me.
We popped over to my dad's house to get his mail. i nicked some tuna from his cupboard and came in to the living room to be greeted by "Are you Andrew's wife or girlfriend?" O_O "Um no, his daughter." "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" "....18, nan." "Bit young for him..." "...That's why I'm his daughter." "Oh yes! You're Leah!" The worst part? She's been married to George for almost 70 years. She's forgotten who he is too.
Came back and sobbed at Lissi for a bit about it - I knew it would happen, but I didn't think it would happen so quickly. I love Lissi for putting up with me and giving me chocolate too ^_^ So danke chick, I really appreciate it :) Needed to drown my sorrows tbh, so it was off to Abi's for some drinking games. I told Adam of this and he got really worried, which was the definition of sweet. Phil and I did 1 shot every minute - hideous game... We lasted over an hour though, and even then we only stopped because we got bored and played I Have Never instead... ¬¬
I am very surprised we didn't have a few complaints over the course of the night - screaming Disney songs at the top of our lungs was fine, but then Abi and I watched Fushigi Yugi again and came out SCREAMING the opening song to compete with everyone else singing another song. We won. This was after 11, keep in mind. So we got lucky about the lack of complaints. I don't remember much after that, tbh O_O Although I remember Abi's mate James throwing me on the bed and knocking me out - TWAT. Having lots of dancing in the hallway, and then returning to Abi's room for more Fushigi Yugi. Laura came crashing in complaining we were all being antisocial, before promptly passing out on Abi's bed ahaha! For some reason I called Adam and made an ass of myself, of course, and then broke my phone. If only I'd broken it BEFORE I'd called and left a hideously long and embarassing message for him to look forward to. Anyone care to put me out of my misery?
After waiting about 15 YEARS for pizzas to get there, we had to walk Sophie back to St Christophers Court. We left a note on Laura's arm (¬¬) and waited on the wall nomming the pizza. It was then that we heard someone having VERY LOUD sex in the next flat. Phil's cries of 'GET IN THERE MY SON!' eventually made them stop. After what seemed like a 2375983 mile walk which included me grabbing a 'For Sale' sign and dragging it part of the way before leaving it in the middle of the pavement and a randomer joining us O____O we made it back to Peak Court. The security guard appreciated my cries of "Oh God, OH GOD!!" up at the sex window - I saw him coming (that's what she said) and promptly shut up. I didn't actually realise it was 4 in the morning.
The night ended with us all watching 2 Girls 1 Cup O___________________O Whyyyy? It was bad enough the first time - although the first time I watched it I hadn't drunk copious amounts of alcohol and didn't feel like throwing up the entire contents of my stomach on to a sleeping Laura. I'm sure she LOVED waking up just in time to watch a sickening porno. Poor girl... For some reason, I woke up at 8. I knew I had to get up early so I didn't miss the shops and that, but that took the piss ever so slightly. Up again at 12, which was a bit better. Although you know what wasn't better? The fucking weather!!
Entering the phone shop I was thinking 'If worst comes to worse, I would be better off if it was the sim card playing up.' Because it's me, it was the phone that was the problem. The guy literally said "... Oh. Your phone is slightly nackered." Bugger. That's a bit of a blow. I can not afford food now. Which sucks, but hopefully I will be nice and skinny by Christmas :) As I walked past Lissi's room she emerged and took one look at me before dying laughing. Charming haha - although I can't blame her. I looked like I'd been swimming, ffs!! I'm still soggy now.
Have been spending the time chatting to Lissi on fb chat, as we're both too lazy to just get up and go and talk to each other. I've got to go out again in a minute - Gracie Pops is ill so I said I'd go cheer her up. I'm good like that. Plus, it means I can has proper food that I don't have to 'cook' myself. I say 'cook' because I can't do that. MY new phone is nice, but the stupid arse behind the counter couldn't keep my old number for some bizzare reason, so I now have to do that hideous tedious "heeeyyyyyyyyyyy this is meeeee, give me your numbers..." thing, which is always awful. It really was typical that it would fucking break now - it's too far away from Christmas to ask for it for a present. Suckssss...
Speaking of sucks, am now going to get embraced by the arms of a massive storm cloud spitting out water like... well, I'll let you finish that one yourself ;)
I was planning on visiting my grandparents today, so I set an alarm for 12. I woke up 1 minute before the bugger went off. Um, gay?! ¬¬ Hayley helped me cook my super noodles properly. In a saucepan. They tasted of stuff! ^_^ Like, chicken stuff! Like they were meant to. Love it - even if the buggers did burn my hand... :( I watched the Powerpuff Girls, because I am such a cool kid. I'd forgotten how A) crap it actually is and B) how much it still makes me laugh. What am I, 6? It reminds me of the old days... sigh... when CArtoon Network had decent cartoons. A time when my dad let me name the car 'Chuggaboom' due to my TV addiction.
I had planned to get the bus to their house, armed with the knowledge that they live in Oakwood. It was actually amazing how many buses went to Oakwood at the same time - 6!!!!!!!!!!! Why do they need 6 buses going to the same place? WHYYYYYY?!? *ahem* It was pot luck that I got on a bus that took me where I wanted to go. I was rather terrified as we were on our way there - blatantly not as terrified as the group of people gathered by the side of the road around an unconscious youth. Woops. As soon as I saw somewhere I vaguely recognised I literally ran off the bus.
I knew this day would come, but I didn't know it would come so soon - My nan doesn't know who I am anymore. I was talking to my grandfather as she came down the stairs. She took one look at me and said "Oh, who are you?" "I'm Leah, Andrew's daughter? Your granddaughter?" "....Andrew doesn't have a daughter, only sons..." Although it's technically true, it was really painful to hear it from her. I know she can't help it, but I had to stop myself from crying. I was crying for real though 10 minutes later when my grandfather made me sit through a video about some old train building that had been turned in to a building for the college. I love my grandfather, but it nearly killed me.
We popped over to my dad's house to get his mail. i nicked some tuna from his cupboard and came in to the living room to be greeted by "Are you Andrew's wife or girlfriend?" O_O "Um no, his daughter." "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" "....18, nan." "Bit young for him..." "...That's why I'm his daughter." "Oh yes! You're Leah!" The worst part? She's been married to George for almost 70 years. She's forgotten who he is too.
Came back and sobbed at Lissi for a bit about it - I knew it would happen, but I didn't think it would happen so quickly. I love Lissi for putting up with me and giving me chocolate too ^_^ So danke chick, I really appreciate it :) Needed to drown my sorrows tbh, so it was off to Abi's for some drinking games. I told Adam of this and he got really worried, which was the definition of sweet. Phil and I did 1 shot every minute - hideous game... We lasted over an hour though, and even then we only stopped because we got bored and played I Have Never instead... ¬¬
I am very surprised we didn't have a few complaints over the course of the night - screaming Disney songs at the top of our lungs was fine, but then Abi and I watched Fushigi Yugi again and came out SCREAMING the opening song to compete with everyone else singing another song. We won. This was after 11, keep in mind. So we got lucky about the lack of complaints. I don't remember much after that, tbh O_O Although I remember Abi's mate James throwing me on the bed and knocking me out - TWAT. Having lots of dancing in the hallway, and then returning to Abi's room for more Fushigi Yugi. Laura came crashing in complaining we were all being antisocial, before promptly passing out on Abi's bed ahaha! For some reason I called Adam and made an ass of myself, of course, and then broke my phone. If only I'd broken it BEFORE I'd called and left a hideously long and embarassing message for him to look forward to. Anyone care to put me out of my misery?
After waiting about 15 YEARS for pizzas to get there, we had to walk Sophie back to St Christophers Court. We left a note on Laura's arm (¬¬) and waited on the wall nomming the pizza. It was then that we heard someone having VERY LOUD sex in the next flat. Phil's cries of 'GET IN THERE MY SON!' eventually made them stop. After what seemed like a 2375983 mile walk which included me grabbing a 'For Sale' sign and dragging it part of the way before leaving it in the middle of the pavement and a randomer joining us O____O we made it back to Peak Court. The security guard appreciated my cries of "Oh God, OH GOD!!" up at the sex window - I saw him coming (that's what she said) and promptly shut up. I didn't actually realise it was 4 in the morning.
The night ended with us all watching 2 Girls 1 Cup O___________________O Whyyyy? It was bad enough the first time - although the first time I watched it I hadn't drunk copious amounts of alcohol and didn't feel like throwing up the entire contents of my stomach on to a sleeping Laura. I'm sure she LOVED waking up just in time to watch a sickening porno. Poor girl... For some reason, I woke up at 8. I knew I had to get up early so I didn't miss the shops and that, but that took the piss ever so slightly. Up again at 12, which was a bit better. Although you know what wasn't better? The fucking weather!!
Entering the phone shop I was thinking 'If worst comes to worse, I would be better off if it was the sim card playing up.' Because it's me, it was the phone that was the problem. The guy literally said "... Oh. Your phone is slightly nackered." Bugger. That's a bit of a blow. I can not afford food now. Which sucks, but hopefully I will be nice and skinny by Christmas :) As I walked past Lissi's room she emerged and took one look at me before dying laughing. Charming haha - although I can't blame her. I looked like I'd been swimming, ffs!! I'm still soggy now.
Have been spending the time chatting to Lissi on fb chat, as we're both too lazy to just get up and go and talk to each other. I've got to go out again in a minute - Gracie Pops is ill so I said I'd go cheer her up. I'm good like that. Plus, it means I can has proper food that I don't have to 'cook' myself. I say 'cook' because I can't do that. MY new phone is nice, but the stupid arse behind the counter couldn't keep my old number for some bizzare reason, so I now have to do that hideous tedious "heeeyyyyyyyyyyy this is meeeee, give me your numbers..." thing, which is always awful. It really was typical that it would fucking break now - it's too far away from Christmas to ask for it for a present. Suckssss...
Speaking of sucks, am now going to get embraced by the arms of a massive storm cloud spitting out water like... well, I'll let you finish that one yourself ;)
Friday, 1 October 2010
DAMNIT! I Just Banged My TIT!
That wasn't me that said that, that was Phil on his quest for pizza at 1 in the morning. He walked in to the door. The poor Dominos guy - I was on the floor in the hallway I was laughing so hard. Couldn't really of any help vis a vis paying and/or holding the pizzas.
Amy rang at 10 asking about getting the bus - where does she get it from? This caused me to panic and prepare to throw my phone at the wall, rip my pjs off and run in to the shower, all the while with the Benny Hill theme playing in the background. I knew we didn't have lectures, but I thought I might be missing something important. She must have heard my worry, as she said "Go back to sleep now, fool, You aren't needed today! :)" Ah... literally load off my back, albeit that had JUST been put there, mind.
Up and 'at 'em' so to speak at the grand old time of half 1. Super noodles, not cooked properly, obviously, ¬¬ for brekkie nom nom nom ^_^ Looking outside the weather was GORGEOUS - if you are a duck. The amount of rain falling at a constant rate was almost unreal. Although Hayley and I still walked in to town, grumbling the entire way of course. I needed to go to the cash machine before tonight and Hayley said she would come with because she needed to do phone things. Turns out she could have done it online, and I found a tenner in my purse on the way home. Bugger. Basically, we fail. Did buy nice Primark things and Hayley stopped me spending £30 on the Lion King DVD, thank god...
Went bowling with Liss as it turns out it was free, but not before I somehow managed to fall asleep for half an hour. I woke up with Stephen Fry's face pressed up against my own, which is a terrifying sight to be quite honest, whether you are male or not (As the case may be) and even if it is not really him and just a picture. His book is the awesomes - I heart him lotsies. It's the same as when I read his novels - I can hear him say the words as he writes them. Ahhh, I love love love love... Yeah, I think I'll stop now.
Somehow I won both bowling games we played, coming up from behind (oooh hello there!) both times, which caused Liss to threaten to leave me there. It was rather hilarious when we arrived at the alley - for some reason she almost parked in the middle of the road, thinking it was a space, which was a bit lol. It only took us 12 minutes to get there, as I wasn't directing and she took her sat nav. A sat nav that actually got lost. O_O
Lissi rang as we were on the way back asking me to pop to sainsburys with her, so I old her I'd meet her in the car park. I knew she would be in the car park when we got back. I was aware of this fact. It was still a shock, however, when she walked up the car as I was talking to Liss and appeared at the window. It did scare me rather shitless tbh!
Lissi, Hayley and I lounged around in the kitchen for ages, just chatting, painting nails etc. I was reading out of the Halls Handbook - Lissi said I'd be a good mum. Not sure how to take that one haha... We were supposed to be ready by half 8 for the taxi. When I said "oh, it's 8 o'clock" Hayley ran off, while Lissi and I just sauntered to our rooms. I actually had to slow myself down while I was getting ready so I wouldn't be sitting around for donkies. I am a bloke, clearly, despite the knockers and the fact that I was wearing a dress.
Tip top night overall I must say - although my feet are broken. This is the first night out in ages where I have worn heels, purely because all the other nights have been themed and have required flats. I spent most of the night screaming inwardly at the hideous pain. Diana Vickers came onstage. UGhhhh... Now, I am not a fan, but I'm all for giving people a chance and being polite, so I wasn't one of the people who booed her onstage. Although I must say her banter between songs was the definition of naff "I'm just going to have some water , here I go..." Just drink the bloody water then, love, you don't need to tell us about it. We are infact able to SEE that you are drinking your water. We are watching you on a stage. Infront of us. And are not blind. Sent Lissi a text regarding Vicker's 'interesting' choice of trousers - we settled on them being a soiled long nappy... The claw came out, but at least she was wearing shoes. To give her credit though, she did sound rather good live.
We started out near the front, but after some guy spent the entire set elbowing my boob (on purpose) then punching me in the face trying to get infront of me - yeah, dream on mate, it ain't gonna happen. I may be delicate because I am female (moi? Delicate? pfft...) Eventually I did get bored though, and Hayley, Abi and myself headed outside, shortly joined by Lissi Becki and James. We went to the silent disco thing - it was so weird! But absolutely hilarious :) At one point Lissi trod on a worm and got a bit scared as it was BLOODY ENORMOUS and reminded her of a snake (which she is terrified of). It's ok though - James picked it up and threw it at me, so it was all good. How pleasant ¬¬.
On the way out I physically got stuck in the mud. My heels sank and I actually couldn' get out. At all. Fuck. We were all heading home - Phil from Abi's flat and his girlfriend Sophie were also getting the taxi with us. A taxi that Abi, who was a leetel beet drunk, had booked. We waited about 15 minutes then I called them up. The taxi was never booked. Woops... By this point we were all freezing and basically throwing ourselves at any taxi that came along. I very nearly got run over by the taxi that actually turned out to be ours.
As Hayley and I were heading back to the flat (her to go to bed and me to get changed and get moneys) a group of guys went 'oi oi! how was the ball?' 'Wooo' came the reply from me. 'It was crap, wasn't it?' '...yeah tbh.' I think I was just sore footed and grumpy. Luckily they'd gone when I walked round to Abi and Phils' to eat pizza. I was in my pjs and slippers, so was v happy they'd gone. We spent ages chatting and it was wellll good. At one point we got really confused as someone had buzzed so we thought the pizza was there - it was just that same group messing around and someone else had ordered a pizza. Phil looked like he could have twisted someone's head off.
As we were munching, Abi and I were sat looking out of the window and these 2 blokes looked up and started to hit on us. I played along, as I'm a skank like that, until I realised they were foreign. I just went " and you don't speak English, so I will be leaving now." I need to stop talking to randomers - on the way in to town with Hayley on the Where's Wally Night I made a tit of myself. Again. For some reason the conversation made me screech "Basically, I'm a slag" and this random bloke on a bench went "Oh, I bet you're not" "Wouldn't YOU like to find out? ;)" Keep in mind he was about in his late 30s, sat on a bench in the middle of the night. Drunk. On a wednesday. Near student housing. The words 'massive' and 'pervert' appear to be marching in the direction of the blog at this moment in time.
As promised - the night at the ACademy (SU Bar) ended with Hayley pressed in to my chest. The end :)
Amy rang at 10 asking about getting the bus - where does she get it from? This caused me to panic and prepare to throw my phone at the wall, rip my pjs off and run in to the shower, all the while with the Benny Hill theme playing in the background. I knew we didn't have lectures, but I thought I might be missing something important. She must have heard my worry, as she said "Go back to sleep now, fool, You aren't needed today! :)" Ah... literally load off my back, albeit that had JUST been put there, mind.
Up and 'at 'em' so to speak at the grand old time of half 1. Super noodles, not cooked properly, obviously, ¬¬ for brekkie nom nom nom ^_^ Looking outside the weather was GORGEOUS - if you are a duck. The amount of rain falling at a constant rate was almost unreal. Although Hayley and I still walked in to town, grumbling the entire way of course. I needed to go to the cash machine before tonight and Hayley said she would come with because she needed to do phone things. Turns out she could have done it online, and I found a tenner in my purse on the way home. Bugger. Basically, we fail. Did buy nice Primark things and Hayley stopped me spending £30 on the Lion King DVD, thank god...
Went bowling with Liss as it turns out it was free, but not before I somehow managed to fall asleep for half an hour. I woke up with Stephen Fry's face pressed up against my own, which is a terrifying sight to be quite honest, whether you are male or not (As the case may be) and even if it is not really him and just a picture. His book is the awesomes - I heart him lotsies. It's the same as when I read his novels - I can hear him say the words as he writes them. Ahhh, I love love love love... Yeah, I think I'll stop now.
Somehow I won both bowling games we played, coming up from behind (oooh hello there!) both times, which caused Liss to threaten to leave me there. It was rather hilarious when we arrived at the alley - for some reason she almost parked in the middle of the road, thinking it was a space, which was a bit lol. It only took us 12 minutes to get there, as I wasn't directing and she took her sat nav. A sat nav that actually got lost. O_O
Lissi rang as we were on the way back asking me to pop to sainsburys with her, so I old her I'd meet her in the car park. I knew she would be in the car park when we got back. I was aware of this fact. It was still a shock, however, when she walked up the car as I was talking to Liss and appeared at the window. It did scare me rather shitless tbh!
Lissi, Hayley and I lounged around in the kitchen for ages, just chatting, painting nails etc. I was reading out of the Halls Handbook - Lissi said I'd be a good mum. Not sure how to take that one haha... We were supposed to be ready by half 8 for the taxi. When I said "oh, it's 8 o'clock" Hayley ran off, while Lissi and I just sauntered to our rooms. I actually had to slow myself down while I was getting ready so I wouldn't be sitting around for donkies. I am a bloke, clearly, despite the knockers and the fact that I was wearing a dress.
Tip top night overall I must say - although my feet are broken. This is the first night out in ages where I have worn heels, purely because all the other nights have been themed and have required flats. I spent most of the night screaming inwardly at the hideous pain. Diana Vickers came onstage. UGhhhh... Now, I am not a fan, but I'm all for giving people a chance and being polite, so I wasn't one of the people who booed her onstage. Although I must say her banter between songs was the definition of naff "I'm just going to have some water , here I go..." Just drink the bloody water then, love, you don't need to tell us about it. We are infact able to SEE that you are drinking your water. We are watching you on a stage. Infront of us. And are not blind. Sent Lissi a text regarding Vicker's 'interesting' choice of trousers - we settled on them being a soiled long nappy... The claw came out, but at least she was wearing shoes. To give her credit though, she did sound rather good live.
We started out near the front, but after some guy spent the entire set elbowing my boob (on purpose) then punching me in the face trying to get infront of me - yeah, dream on mate, it ain't gonna happen. I may be delicate because I am female (moi? Delicate? pfft...) Eventually I did get bored though, and Hayley, Abi and myself headed outside, shortly joined by Lissi Becki and James. We went to the silent disco thing - it was so weird! But absolutely hilarious :) At one point Lissi trod on a worm and got a bit scared as it was BLOODY ENORMOUS and reminded her of a snake (which she is terrified of). It's ok though - James picked it up and threw it at me, so it was all good. How pleasant ¬¬.
On the way out I physically got stuck in the mud. My heels sank and I actually couldn' get out. At all. Fuck. We were all heading home - Phil from Abi's flat and his girlfriend Sophie were also getting the taxi with us. A taxi that Abi, who was a leetel beet drunk, had booked. We waited about 15 minutes then I called them up. The taxi was never booked. Woops... By this point we were all freezing and basically throwing ourselves at any taxi that came along. I very nearly got run over by the taxi that actually turned out to be ours.
As Hayley and I were heading back to the flat (her to go to bed and me to get changed and get moneys) a group of guys went 'oi oi! how was the ball?' 'Wooo' came the reply from me. 'It was crap, wasn't it?' '...yeah tbh.' I think I was just sore footed and grumpy. Luckily they'd gone when I walked round to Abi and Phils' to eat pizza. I was in my pjs and slippers, so was v happy they'd gone. We spent ages chatting and it was wellll good. At one point we got really confused as someone had buzzed so we thought the pizza was there - it was just that same group messing around and someone else had ordered a pizza. Phil looked like he could have twisted someone's head off.
As we were munching, Abi and I were sat looking out of the window and these 2 blokes looked up and started to hit on us. I played along, as I'm a skank like that, until I realised they were foreign. I just went " and you don't speak English, so I will be leaving now." I need to stop talking to randomers - on the way in to town with Hayley on the Where's Wally Night I made a tit of myself. Again. For some reason the conversation made me screech "Basically, I'm a slag" and this random bloke on a bench went "Oh, I bet you're not" "Wouldn't YOU like to find out? ;)" Keep in mind he was about in his late 30s, sat on a bench in the middle of the night. Drunk. On a wednesday. Near student housing. The words 'massive' and 'pervert' appear to be marching in the direction of the blog at this moment in time.
As promised - the night at the ACademy (SU Bar) ended with Hayley pressed in to my chest. The end :)
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