There comes a point in everyone's life when you wake up in an obscure location, clutching the last remaining can/bottle/random object from whatever happened the night before and think one of two things: either "Hmmm... Things got out of hand FAST! When can I go round again?" or "Omg... OMG is this my LIFE?!? Jesus, I gotta get a new one. Fast."
I mysef experienced this situation only on sunday morning - I awoke in a friend's bathroom, topless and clinging on to a tube of toothpaste as if my life depended on it. My initial thought was not "Jesus Christ, where is my crucial article of clothing?" nor was it "Woops, my shift started 2 hours ago." It was infact "I think I might allow that cat to finish licking my hair, I don't have time for a shower." And it was only then that I thought to myself something that made more sense - me being me, it was the first thought.
I'd like to think that I'm one of those people that does not do things in moderation. If I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna down that entire bottle of vodka and then eat that damn fish food. If I'm gonna try weed, I'm gonna smoke that stuff until 5 in the morning and spend at least 10 minutes laughing hysterically at a damp rose bush. If I'm gonna practically eat the face off that bloke I've known for only a few hours, I'm damn well gonna grab the next taxi back to his and fuck his brains out all night. If I'm gonna get a piercing, I'm gonna get as many as I can in the most unusual places I can find. I could go on, but I think you know what I'm talking about.
It is with this revelation that I consider myself truly to be living life to its fullest. Yes, blackouts are extremely frightening and memory loss can serve as either a fear-inducing drug or as a God send (in my case, my memory loss has still not returned and is a God send. I do not feel the shame I should feel about eating fish food and puking all over some guy's living room simply because I do not remember doing it.) I've come a long way since my days of only being able to drink half a glass of cider (or so it seemed) before people would find me weeping in the corner over the fact that I realised that my curtains and bed sheets clashed. No, I am not kidding. 13 is an age at which you are much too young to drink, as I keep telling Christian, but I'll be damned if he ever so much as considers listening to me.
Where was I? Oh yes *Ahem* Yes, people may consider me stupid for drinking until I black out, or dangerous for mixing alcohol and drugs, or slaggy for sleeping with someone I am not in a long-standing relationship with, and to these people I say "Fuck. You." It's my life, I will make my own decisions and mistakes, and I'll bloody well enjoy myself while I'm at it! I don't want to grow up to ANY age and look back at my teenage/early adult years and think "My God, what a boring arse I was." This is the way I'm choosing to live - I'm immature, spontaneous, rude, crass, crude, and dare I say it, sexy to boot as well?
You may wonder where this sudden revelation came from - after all, I'm not really known for such deep thought unless required but it may sometimes take an emotional knock to encourage such thoughts. I learned about a month ago that a family member had been told that he had throat cancer - not pleasant, but sometimes survivable. Something I could easily cope with. I am not naive - I was quite aware that he could die. I even prepared myself for the eventuality that the cancer had spread and it was indeed terminal, but you always have that hope, don't you? That stereotypical 'it won't happen to me' thought process? It was in vain. Throat and lung cancer. An eventually lethal combination. A 4 month sentence given to a man in his 60s, whereas his parents will still be alive and kicking in their late 80s.
Safe to say I shut down emotionally for a while, continuously weeped internally and externally and refused to speak to people for ages. Well, minutes. Life is unfair, and short. As shitty as some of the situations I have found myself in have been, there have been many, I don't intend on wasting any more.
I've never really been one to care about what others think about me, fickle words don't bother me, but after an emotional shut-down of sorts, even more of the once subtle 'fuck you' attitude tends to surface. Don't like it? Well, I believe you might already know the answer to that question. :) In all seriousness though, live life while you can - you never know when it can be taken out from under you, like a table cloth expertly ripped from a laden table. Only death doesn't leave the settings quite as neat for the people left behind.
^^^^^^^^^^^ Goddamn, who knew I was so poetic?? ^_________^
Monday, 30 May 2011
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Sex. That Is On Fire.
Simon Neil is the definition of this. You know, the lead singer of Biffy Clyro. He is married, so if anyone out there is the spitting image of him give me a ring. I will sex you up.
In other news, vodka is not my friend - after copious amounts of it I apparently ate fish food. I don't remember this. I woke up in bed, completely naked and with one shoe on the next morning. So kudos for Amz and Dakin for physically carrying me back home. Poor gits.
Insidious is a shit scary film, although I have now seen it 3 times and counting. Have now taken to sharpening my claws to Tiptoe Thru The Tulips by Tiny Tim and singing it endlessly, which is creepy on its own. Go and search for him. He is a creepy creepy man.
I am now well and truly situated at home in my usual position as the household's Lazy Bitch and have shit all hours at work. Following a complaint from me, I now have some of Adam's new bint's shifts, so I call that a small victory. I am now once again on speaking terms with Adam, following a tag team attack at 2 in the morning for 2 HOURS on wednesday while I was trying to frantically attack some assignments due the next day. Ever been insulted and called every name under the sun for 2 hours by your ex? For lots of people out there the answer is probably 'yes.' I bet the reason for your bile-filled attacks was hurt at the break up, or anger at the break up. My apparent wrong-doing? It is apparently Natasha's (the new bint) business regarding how many people I slept with BEFORE getting with Adam, as well as afterwards. WTF?!? He apologised to me today, but she has remained stoney faced. That's fine. I shall do my best to make her feel as uncomfortable at work as is humanly possible :) :) :)
Ever had to rip a broody chicken off of her nest? I have. Bloody hell, they peck for years! The silly bitch had been sitting on broken eggs anyway, and she was so angry about it! Believe me, I can tell. And Ponyo followed in her mother's footsteps and was a shit mother, so once again I have a new chick friend to raise. I called her Kiki, but Christian has decided to call her Winston. ¬_¬
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I had my belly button pierced (finally) and it is now infected. Bugger. Er, that's about it. So yes. I is back methinks, hopefully for good. And hopefully I shall have something interesting to write about. XD
In other news, vodka is not my friend - after copious amounts of it I apparently ate fish food. I don't remember this. I woke up in bed, completely naked and with one shoe on the next morning. So kudos for Amz and Dakin for physically carrying me back home. Poor gits.
Insidious is a shit scary film, although I have now seen it 3 times and counting. Have now taken to sharpening my claws to Tiptoe Thru The Tulips by Tiny Tim and singing it endlessly, which is creepy on its own. Go and search for him. He is a creepy creepy man.
I am now well and truly situated at home in my usual position as the household's Lazy Bitch and have shit all hours at work. Following a complaint from me, I now have some of Adam's new bint's shifts, so I call that a small victory. I am now once again on speaking terms with Adam, following a tag team attack at 2 in the morning for 2 HOURS on wednesday while I was trying to frantically attack some assignments due the next day. Ever been insulted and called every name under the sun for 2 hours by your ex? For lots of people out there the answer is probably 'yes.' I bet the reason for your bile-filled attacks was hurt at the break up, or anger at the break up. My apparent wrong-doing? It is apparently Natasha's (the new bint) business regarding how many people I slept with BEFORE getting with Adam, as well as afterwards. WTF?!? He apologised to me today, but she has remained stoney faced. That's fine. I shall do my best to make her feel as uncomfortable at work as is humanly possible :) :) :)
Ever had to rip a broody chicken off of her nest? I have. Bloody hell, they peck for years! The silly bitch had been sitting on broken eggs anyway, and she was so angry about it! Believe me, I can tell. And Ponyo followed in her mother's footsteps and was a shit mother, so once again I have a new chick friend to raise. I called her Kiki, but Christian has decided to call her Winston. ¬_¬
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I had my belly button pierced (finally) and it is now infected. Bugger. Er, that's about it. So yes. I is back methinks, hopefully for good. And hopefully I shall have something interesting to write about. XD
Monday, 18 April 2011
Toaster in the Bath? Naaah fanks XD
Wehell, it has been a while, hasn't it mon petite pallies? Where have I been? That, I am going to explain. As I sit here in my too big for me size 10 SHORTS (with my ever so white legs on display. White legs that are fantastically toned and lovely, of course.) I am debating whether to go in to the details. Well, I might as well?
So - just as I was about to begin my daily writings again, I had somewhat of a nervous breakdown. My laptop broke, i had a massive falling out with most of my friends back home, my relationship was destroyed, I had 2 deadlines fast approaching and I literally ran out of money, overdraft and all. This all happened in the space of ummmmmm 3 days and saw me retreating back in to the arms of my mother faster than she could say 'I told you so'. As you can imagine, these events kinda fucked me over and made me even consider sitting in the bath with a toaster in my lap or dragging a straight razor over my wrists. But no more!
Everything is back to its good ol' self (well, of sorts. More on that story later ;)) my friendies are wonderful, my laptop is on the road to recovery (I have learned to live without it, something which I thought I would never be able to do) my bank account is back in the positive for the first time in months. The relationship thing? When you find out that your long distance boyfriend has been fucking one of the girls at work you kinda don't give a shit about whether you are with him anymore or not. Shagging random blokes your best mate introduces you too is also a good way of getting over things. Ever meet someone for the first time and just click? Well, that happened. Amy actually tooks bets on how long it would take for us to end up in bed together. ~following a hideous amount of booze it took about 4 hours. In all honesty, I don't remember much of it.
My weight loss has been amazing - as I wrote earlier, I hit my target of reaching a size 10 on the bottom (previously a size 12-14) and a size 14/16 on top (previously size 18-20) and have gone a bit further, in a bit of a bad way i.e. I can't be arsed to eat :S not so good,but I'm not doing it on purpose! When Charlie found me spralled on the staff room floor following a stint of not eating for about 3 days my mother hit the roof. My meals are now monitored. FFS. I also had to be driven home by my darling ex boyfriend that night, an occassion that really hurt my throat (and not in a 'corrr, that took ages that time!' way, I mean in a 'shouty bitch' kind of a way)
But life is amazing - I've finished my first year of uni, which was a blast I have to say. It's a shame I got with Adam and was with himfor most of the time during my first year, as it's only in the last few weeks I feel that I have become a proper student i.e. LOTSSSSSSSSSSSS of alcohol and sex. As everyone at work says, that is me to a T.
Yes, maybe that is me. Boozy and sexy ;) but I'm a student, I'm 19 and I've now got 4 months to do it all at home. Bring it on - I'm smaller, sexier and more confident. Corrrrr, this is going to be an EPIC summer!!! XD
So - just as I was about to begin my daily writings again, I had somewhat of a nervous breakdown. My laptop broke, i had a massive falling out with most of my friends back home, my relationship was destroyed, I had 2 deadlines fast approaching and I literally ran out of money, overdraft and all. This all happened in the space of ummmmmm 3 days and saw me retreating back in to the arms of my mother faster than she could say 'I told you so'. As you can imagine, these events kinda fucked me over and made me even consider sitting in the bath with a toaster in my lap or dragging a straight razor over my wrists. But no more!
Everything is back to its good ol' self (well, of sorts. More on that story later ;)) my friendies are wonderful, my laptop is on the road to recovery (I have learned to live without it, something which I thought I would never be able to do) my bank account is back in the positive for the first time in months. The relationship thing? When you find out that your long distance boyfriend has been fucking one of the girls at work you kinda don't give a shit about whether you are with him anymore or not. Shagging random blokes your best mate introduces you too is also a good way of getting over things. Ever meet someone for the first time and just click? Well, that happened. Amy actually tooks bets on how long it would take for us to end up in bed together. ~following a hideous amount of booze it took about 4 hours. In all honesty, I don't remember much of it.
My weight loss has been amazing - as I wrote earlier, I hit my target of reaching a size 10 on the bottom (previously a size 12-14) and a size 14/16 on top (previously size 18-20) and have gone a bit further, in a bit of a bad way i.e. I can't be arsed to eat :S not so good,but I'm not doing it on purpose! When Charlie found me spralled on the staff room floor following a stint of not eating for about 3 days my mother hit the roof. My meals are now monitored. FFS. I also had to be driven home by my darling ex boyfriend that night, an occassion that really hurt my throat (and not in a 'corrr, that took ages that time!' way, I mean in a 'shouty bitch' kind of a way)
But life is amazing - I've finished my first year of uni, which was a blast I have to say. It's a shame I got with Adam and was with himfor most of the time during my first year, as it's only in the last few weeks I feel that I have become a proper student i.e. LOTSSSSSSSSSSSS of alcohol and sex. As everyone at work says, that is me to a T.
Yes, maybe that is me. Boozy and sexy ;) but I'm a student, I'm 19 and I've now got 4 months to do it all at home. Bring it on - I'm smaller, sexier and more confident. Corrrrr, this is going to be an EPIC summer!!! XD
Friday, 4 March 2011
Here She Is, Doggy Style Anytime!
That is of course a song taken from the first Scary Movie film. A song I unfortunately cannot stop singing for some reason. I think I may be back again as far as the blog writing thing is concerned. I have been ever so busy, and of course I have many tales of my prattish behaviour to tell you.
Sooooo last wednesday I finally got to go and see Black Swan, a film I have wanted to see since it came out (take a wild guess who I went with) and I was disgustingly disappointed by it.Are you meant to laugh the entire way through it? I thought not. My day was made though by Sammy, whom I used to work at the Hallmark with (She asked me why I left. I've left?!?) but she gave me the BEST news EVER! My 'boss', used in the loosest way possible, got the sack. Which is hilarious but also a shame, as I was gonna go and yell at him. Nevermind.
We watched the remake of I Spit On Your Grave. It was FANTASTIC! The original film was banned in several countries, but that one just made me laugh hysterically. Come Thursday Jade and I stocked up on booze for our night in drinking session and I headed of to uni wearing my smartest trousers. I had a job induction at 6, leaving me an hour after uni to walk about 3 1/2 miles. I did it. During the induction we were all chatting and I mentioned that when the induction ended I had about 20 minutes to get back to the bus station, which was about 2 miles away. "Shame, I'm going in the opposite direction, I'd have taken you with me" It was lovely, therefore, watching her driving past me as I stampeded down the road. Bitch. A bus (which I was told was not running) also drove past me. I swear the fucking thing was waving at me. T_T
Do you know what I did? I ran 2 miles in 15 minutes. I think I need a bloody medal, seeing as I was previously a lazy git. Ugh. Following a HILARIOUS night of drinking and playing boardgames (Balderdash. OMFG so funny. And I'm amazing at it) I loitred around until night, after being fed mashed potatoes and cabbage, making me basically orgasm and my Aunt dropped me back home. I headed to Abi's on the idea of just having a few drinks. I got absolutely slaughtered and ended up heading to Blue Note with them. I was so hammered I don't really remember what happened that night, but all I know is that I was sick as soon as we got to the nightclub (I made myself sick in the loo in order to not do it on people's shoes once we got inside) and walked home ALONE at 2 in the morning in the pouring rain. One failed mugging and heartfelt chat with Lissi later and I crashed out.
I was woken by Timmy, my brother, at half 11 and my head exploded. He was in town so I met him for lunch and a mooooovie - Paul, which was funny as fuck but because I hate Seth Rogan I didn't actually like Paul himself. I also bought myself The Life Of Birds on DVD as I have now lost over 1stone wooo! Timmy came back and we prepared for the flat party Lissi and I had arranged the night before. Nice. While most people went out towards the end, I had a small gathering in my room and we watched my favourite youtube videos. I Sit On You and Queen of Vagina are now circulating through my course set. Lol.
uni was its usual stuffs, lolling at everything tbh. Come Wednesday I went to see West is West, which is a fantastic sequal to East is East. I'd highly recommend watching both of them. I will of course be doing movie reviews of all the new films I've seen recently. Which is alot, as we watched Piranhas 3D when we got in - I haven't laughed that hard at a 'horror' film since Jaws 3D. Just hysterical. One delish chinese later and I felt like a fat fuck again ahaha.
But yes - I'm back and I will be writing more often again. Also check out popcorn and pisstakes for my take on the newest cinema hits :)
Sooooo last wednesday I finally got to go and see Black Swan, a film I have wanted to see since it came out (take a wild guess who I went with) and I was disgustingly disappointed by it.Are you meant to laugh the entire way through it? I thought not. My day was made though by Sammy, whom I used to work at the Hallmark with (She asked me why I left. I've left?!?) but she gave me the BEST news EVER! My 'boss', used in the loosest way possible, got the sack. Which is hilarious but also a shame, as I was gonna go and yell at him. Nevermind.
We watched the remake of I Spit On Your Grave. It was FANTASTIC! The original film was banned in several countries, but that one just made me laugh hysterically. Come Thursday Jade and I stocked up on booze for our night in drinking session and I headed of to uni wearing my smartest trousers. I had a job induction at 6, leaving me an hour after uni to walk about 3 1/2 miles. I did it. During the induction we were all chatting and I mentioned that when the induction ended I had about 20 minutes to get back to the bus station, which was about 2 miles away. "Shame, I'm going in the opposite direction, I'd have taken you with me" It was lovely, therefore, watching her driving past me as I stampeded down the road. Bitch. A bus (which I was told was not running) also drove past me. I swear the fucking thing was waving at me. T_T
Do you know what I did? I ran 2 miles in 15 minutes. I think I need a bloody medal, seeing as I was previously a lazy git. Ugh. Following a HILARIOUS night of drinking and playing boardgames (Balderdash. OMFG so funny. And I'm amazing at it) I loitred around until night, after being fed mashed potatoes and cabbage, making me basically orgasm and my Aunt dropped me back home. I headed to Abi's on the idea of just having a few drinks. I got absolutely slaughtered and ended up heading to Blue Note with them. I was so hammered I don't really remember what happened that night, but all I know is that I was sick as soon as we got to the nightclub (I made myself sick in the loo in order to not do it on people's shoes once we got inside) and walked home ALONE at 2 in the morning in the pouring rain. One failed mugging and heartfelt chat with Lissi later and I crashed out.
I was woken by Timmy, my brother, at half 11 and my head exploded. He was in town so I met him for lunch and a mooooovie - Paul, which was funny as fuck but because I hate Seth Rogan I didn't actually like Paul himself. I also bought myself The Life Of Birds on DVD as I have now lost over 1stone wooo! Timmy came back and we prepared for the flat party Lissi and I had arranged the night before. Nice. While most people went out towards the end, I had a small gathering in my room and we watched my favourite youtube videos. I Sit On You and Queen of Vagina are now circulating through my course set. Lol.
uni was its usual stuffs, lolling at everything tbh. Come Wednesday I went to see West is West, which is a fantastic sequal to East is East. I'd highly recommend watching both of them. I will of course be doing movie reviews of all the new films I've seen recently. Which is alot, as we watched Piranhas 3D when we got in - I haven't laughed that hard at a 'horror' film since Jaws 3D. Just hysterical. One delish chinese later and I felt like a fat fuck again ahaha.
But yes - I'm back and I will be writing more often again. Also check out popcorn and pisstakes for my take on the newest cinema hits :)
Sunday, 20 February 2011
Moving On Up (Again)
Ok - so, I went home, had an absolutely wonderful weekend with my man (he made me a lemon cheesecake. Holy Hell, was it ever good!) and was lovely til I had to leave again. I was feeling positive. We found a house eventually, which made me even more positive.
I then discovered I had no money and no means to make money. I have never fallen that low before. I cried in the bank. To the manager. Ugh.
Buhuuuuut things are moving on up again ^^ I had a job interview at Pride Park football stadium on tuesday, and while at the cinema with Jade and co I got an email telling me I got the job :) Still looking for more work though ahaha.
My Mr is gonna come and visit soon, and my room and clothes are tidy and fresh. 've lost about 10lbs and am firming up nicely. Yeah. Things are good.
I then discovered I had no money and no means to make money. I have never fallen that low before. I cried in the bank. To the manager. Ugh.
Buhuuuuut things are moving on up again ^^ I had a job interview at Pride Park football stadium on tuesday, and while at the cinema with Jade and co I got an email telling me I got the job :) Still looking for more work though ahaha.
My Mr is gonna come and visit soon, and my room and clothes are tidy and fresh. 've lost about 10lbs and am firming up nicely. Yeah. Things are good.
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Would You Like Some Cock Porn?
To answer bluntly: Yes. Right. Moving on now.
I find myself very much looking forward to stampeding through endless train stations tomorrow, carrying an A3 acrylic portrait of Simba from The Lion King (that I painted myself of course. I'm gonna have to put a picture of it on here at some point. The only thing I've ever painted that's better than this was my demon March Hare. Which I'm also going to put a picture of on here. Anyways) and yet again grappling with timetables and possibly homeless men. Why is this? It is, of course, because I get to spend the weekend with my Mr :). I have found myself getting more and more open (ooer) and confident. This is because Adam is by far the sexiest man I've ever slept with - I know this because a) it is obvious and b) as Mazi loves to constantly remind me, my line up of ex-boyfriends, stemming from clumsy 15 year old fumbles to what a 16 year old would call 'the real thing', wouldn't look at all out of place in the cast list of another Wrong Turn or Hills Have Eyes movie.
That is probably something I should find depressing, and yes, the thoughts of some of them make me want to shove a double-barreled shotgun in to my mouth and pull the trigger, and as cheesy and crap as the saying is: 'You've gotta kiss a few frogs to find your prince.' Of course, in my case it was kissing a few hogs, snakes, hippos and rats. Yummeh. But yeah - I just hope the bruising on my cheek goes down before I get home. A bruised cheek? Well, a drunken, rejected man has a wide swing. Poor bloke chose the wrong victim - there's a likelihood he also won't be able to have children anymore. The entertaining exchange went as follows:
*Leah is dancing with Abi, Laura and Hayley in a club to celebrate Laura's birthday. Leah downed an entire bottle of jager and schnapps just before exiting the flat and having not eaten all day, she was a little drunk*
*A man, tall, weedy with glasses and a fat face comes over, and begins to attempt to grind dance with Leah*
*Leah moves her arse out of the way of Anus's (the man) 'crotch'*
*Man puts 'crotch' back*
*Leah moves again*
*repeat several times*
*Leah eventually gets pissed off and turns to face Anus*
Leah: Dude! Can you NOT take a hint!? Get the fuck away from me!
Anus: Mmmmm! You're wearing a green bra! Nice!
Leah: Face is up here, where my angry words are currently exiting. Stop staring at what you can't have
Anus: And why the hell can I not have it? Look, let me get you a drink and we can discuss this further
Leah: Or not. For one, you are hideous, 2, I have a long-term boyfriend and 3, you are hideous
Anus: How the hell can a slut like you have a boyfriend? Stop bullshitting and get your arse over here.
Leah: NO! Fuck off! I don't answer to anyone! Get the hell away from me - I've said no, so go dribble on someone else's shoulder!
*Anus smacks Leah round the face*
Leah: ahaha. Nice. By the way - you picked the wrong person to punch tonight
*Leah brings her knee up in to the Anus's 'crotch' with all the force she has*
*Anus doubles over, and the bouncers swiftly come over and eject him from the club*
The End.
The combined stress of house hunting, the random (technically) attack, money issues, job hunting and back problems saw me take another trip to the doctor - the stress having caused a hideous amount of what look like hives to break out all over my arms, hands, face and neck. So, having been put on yet more medication and having physically broken down in to a sobbing wreck in the middle of a lecture, I fled to Jade's. A night of laughs and a few cheeky texts with Adam and I've perked up so much.
I need to go home though. I'm ready to forget everything here, even just for a weekend. And I need sleep - I've been working out double time in the last 2 weeks and it's beginning to show. But it also means I need to keep on top of my sleep. So this is goodbye for a few days - when I come back, I no doubt will feel even better ^____________________^
I find myself very much looking forward to stampeding through endless train stations tomorrow, carrying an A3 acrylic portrait of Simba from The Lion King (that I painted myself of course. I'm gonna have to put a picture of it on here at some point. The only thing I've ever painted that's better than this was my demon March Hare. Which I'm also going to put a picture of on here. Anyways) and yet again grappling with timetables and possibly homeless men. Why is this? It is, of course, because I get to spend the weekend with my Mr :). I have found myself getting more and more open (ooer) and confident. This is because Adam is by far the sexiest man I've ever slept with - I know this because a) it is obvious and b) as Mazi loves to constantly remind me, my line up of ex-boyfriends, stemming from clumsy 15 year old fumbles to what a 16 year old would call 'the real thing', wouldn't look at all out of place in the cast list of another Wrong Turn or Hills Have Eyes movie.
That is probably something I should find depressing, and yes, the thoughts of some of them make me want to shove a double-barreled shotgun in to my mouth and pull the trigger, and as cheesy and crap as the saying is: 'You've gotta kiss a few frogs to find your prince.' Of course, in my case it was kissing a few hogs, snakes, hippos and rats. Yummeh. But yeah - I just hope the bruising on my cheek goes down before I get home. A bruised cheek? Well, a drunken, rejected man has a wide swing. Poor bloke chose the wrong victim - there's a likelihood he also won't be able to have children anymore. The entertaining exchange went as follows:
*Leah is dancing with Abi, Laura and Hayley in a club to celebrate Laura's birthday. Leah downed an entire bottle of jager and schnapps just before exiting the flat and having not eaten all day, she was a little drunk*
*A man, tall, weedy with glasses and a fat face comes over, and begins to attempt to grind dance with Leah*
*Leah moves her arse out of the way of Anus's (the man) 'crotch'*
*Man puts 'crotch' back*
*Leah moves again*
*repeat several times*
*Leah eventually gets pissed off and turns to face Anus*
Leah: Dude! Can you NOT take a hint!? Get the fuck away from me!
Anus: Mmmmm! You're wearing a green bra! Nice!
Leah: Face is up here, where my angry words are currently exiting. Stop staring at what you can't have
Anus: And why the hell can I not have it? Look, let me get you a drink and we can discuss this further
Leah: Or not. For one, you are hideous, 2, I have a long-term boyfriend and 3, you are hideous
Anus: How the hell can a slut like you have a boyfriend? Stop bullshitting and get your arse over here.
Leah: NO! Fuck off! I don't answer to anyone! Get the hell away from me - I've said no, so go dribble on someone else's shoulder!
*Anus smacks Leah round the face*
Leah: ahaha. Nice. By the way - you picked the wrong person to punch tonight
*Leah brings her knee up in to the Anus's 'crotch' with all the force she has*
*Anus doubles over, and the bouncers swiftly come over and eject him from the club*
The End.
The combined stress of house hunting, the random (technically) attack, money issues, job hunting and back problems saw me take another trip to the doctor - the stress having caused a hideous amount of what look like hives to break out all over my arms, hands, face and neck. So, having been put on yet more medication and having physically broken down in to a sobbing wreck in the middle of a lecture, I fled to Jade's. A night of laughs and a few cheeky texts with Adam and I've perked up so much.
I need to go home though. I'm ready to forget everything here, even just for a weekend. And I need sleep - I've been working out double time in the last 2 weeks and it's beginning to show. But it also means I need to keep on top of my sleep. So this is goodbye for a few days - when I come back, I no doubt will feel even better ^____________________^
Sunday, 6 February 2011
Filmage
Sooooo I couldn't wait, and so I set up an entirely different blog for movie reviews. Hopefully this blog will cater to more people (though I do love you all for reading this one). This blog WILL be continued, so if you enjoy reading about me cocking up all the time then you won't be disappointed.
Please, tell all your friends! You can find it here, at:
popcornandpisstakes.blogspot.com
Thanks guys and Enjoy!
^__________________^
Please, tell all your friends! You can find it here, at:
popcornandpisstakes.blogspot.com
Thanks guys and Enjoy!
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