Well, At Least You'll Be The One Without AIDS!

Dear God, last night was a good night. Mega style. More on that story later.

And it begins... at 2, naturally. I woke up, on fire (not literally) and yet again stuck to my hideous waterproof mattress. Why does my sheet come off so easily? I really must be running a marathon or something in my sleep. Ugh. Just the thought of it is hideous. Running... But yeah - I see the practical reasons behind a waterproof mattress. Some people, I'm not saying me you fools, may lose control after one too many. Thankfully I've never reached that stage. You'd think though at 18/19 a person would know when to stop drinking. Obviously not the case as I saw a girl being sick ON HERSELF last night. Yum.

For some reason I decided to watch 'The Lengend Of The Titanic', a cartoon about, well, that should be obvious. This is a film often called the worst film ever made. That isn't an exaggeration. Dear God it was awful - I actually wanted to pull my eyes out. According to this 'film', the Titanic hit an iceburg that was pushed in to its path by a giant octopus (Called Tentacles and who looked like Casper the friendly ghost crossed with a fox/seal i.e. completely and utterly retarded.) No one died. Yeah, I'm all for censoring things for kids, but REALLY!?!? The so called 'film makers' might have well have gone to the graves of every single person killed in the actual sinking and deficated on each of them in turn. Animation and dubbing was also shite - a man with long hair and a woman with her hair out of a bun. In 1912?!? GET REAL!!! The limit? This bloke caught a flying glove, in slow motion, then sniffed it. "I AM NOT CREEPY, LADY! LOVE ME! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE MEEEEEEE!!!!" "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Gypsy man! Your mince is so manly! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" O__________O

Wandered downstairs to go in to town with Liss. Had a chat with her and Vetty about the school opposite our accomodation. Turns out it's one of those schools where kids go when no other schools will take them. That is why the gate is coded - although if they are determined to get in here, all they have to do is walk around to the other side. Where it is not coded. Thankfully, they either are too thick to have figured that out, or are lazy. Liss drove us up to uni in an attempt to pick up some cheap books. She pulled up next to the woman sat in the booth, who decided who to let in to the campus. Liss pulled up. She stopped. She wound her window down. She then screamed off. I was the definition of gobsmacked! It was bloody hilarious though! It then turns out that we then had to instantly leave as the book fair thing was not on. Fuck.

Walked in to town and the heavens opened. We all had to buy boobrellas (umbrellas to normal people. Yet another one of my words/phrases that I use lots and that are clearly not English) from Primark. I now have 4 in my room, none of which I thought to put in my bag. We soon got bored of banks and the rain, so we got the bus back home. As we were trying to get off, the huge amount of people stood up provided a wonderful obsticle course. The driver stopped at our stop, picked up more people then kept on moving. Liss actually screamed. It was hilarious, once again.

Lissi rang and we all set off to Asda. It took about 15 years to get there, because I was directing. Keep in mind I have no sense of direction. At all. I know where Asda is. I've been there many times as a kid. Josh took us there last month. But can I find it? NOOOOOOOO... Lissi took up doing that beeping thing Jay did whenever Simon mentioned Tara on the Inbetweeners, this time whenever I tried to direct us some more. Which was often. ¬¬. Ahaha. She also told us of her adventures in her lecture - she punched her lecturer in the face. Nice :)

We literally landed on Asda (thank God. I had hideous visions of myself directing us to Nottingham or somewhere equally far away from Derby.) On the way in we were discussing the horror flatmate again. Liss and Vetty said they'll listen out for a gunshot, then the sound of me screaming. I am scared now, so very scared... Liss told me about an hour ago how they heard a loud bang from upstairs earlier and got very worried. They needn't have - yes, it was the horror one, but it was only her HITTING HER HEATER WITH ALL HER MIGHT!!! That is not normal or sane behaviour on anyone's watch.

They do different flavours of Caribbean Twist. OH. MY. GOD! Physically couldn't get over that - I stocked up, of course. MY shopping looked waaaay studenty - Milk and cheese, super noodles, loo roll, booze and... lots of makeup and Stephen Fry's autobiography ^___________^ I love him rather a lot! We had a maccy Ds while there - how cool? An asda with a maccy Ds IN IT! Got lost on the way back too, typically. Lissi had a laughing spaz in the back seat - turns out she'd written 'gay' on my window with an arrow pointing at me. My, they've caught on fast! ;)

Tonight was the where's wally night - an attempt to break the world record for number of Wallys in one place. I drank before we left the flat. We had drinking games. Arrogance = not my friend. uhhhhhhh soooo many 'cocktails'. We were queuing for DONKIES trying to get in to Walkabout and they kept trying to get us to go to the assembly rooms, saying they were full etc.. Hayley and I were the last 2 people to be let in! Wooo! Get in there my son! Jager shots, VKs.... Ended up dancing to saturday Night and throwing my drinks EVERYWHERE!

Ended up at the assembly rooms AGAIN! Ended up drinking more free shots AND Lissi's, Vetty's and Liss's... We were waiting to have our pic taken for the record attempt... yeah, we got bored and wandered off before that happened. Not before I basically rolled over to Vetty and Liss and then stole a chair from some poor bloke. It was in the taxi home that I saw that lovely girl vomit all over herself. Sexy. Crashed in at about 2 - someone had buzzed our flat so Laura came out in time to see me slam to the floor giggling hysterically and making AS MUCH NOISE AS POSSIBLE to get back at Horror.'Fab end to a night out!' I thought and slammed on to my bed...

I woke up at about 4, cause there was this funny noise. I bimbled around my room for a bit (still pissed, obviously) then heard lots of banging on my door. Ooooer missus. When I eventually got there Lissi's VERY WORRIED face poked her head round and cried "Leah LEAH! It's the fire alarm! We have to evacuate!!!" ".....oh we have to evacuate?" We stumbled out the flat, Lissi banging on doors as she went - she's a good one to have when there's a fire. My first thought? "SHIT! I'm not wearing a FUCKING BRA!!!!!" I think I quite literally ran in to Liss on the landing, and poor Vetty had to be up at 7. Vulgar.

It was a really well organised fire alarm - they all made sure we were there and checked the buildings were empty... pfft, as if! We all got bored after about 10 minutes and wandered back inside. Despite the fact that you get a fine if you don't get out, the Spanish lot were still inside, still smoking the fags that set the alarm off in the first place. Bastards. I will make their heads roll...

Liss made Luke give us a lift to uni (when he EVENTUALLY got up like 10 minutes before the lecture was due to start - hahaha!) and entered one of the coldest rooms I've been in in my life. It was here that I had to hear my female lecturer with a very sexual voice (based on joint opinions) talk about a very bad SandM case. I was one of the only people who seemed to know what SandM is. O_O I'm too sexual (for my shirt, of course. AS the poor bloke in the flat opposite just saw - I forgot I was topless and went to my window and opened my curtains, as he was shutting his. It was just like that bit in Life of Brian when he opens the window, naked, but without a crowd stood there and just one poor bloke who physically spat his drink out.)

Then in the afternoon, Sam's lecture room was too hot and saw us all dozing off. Eventually he started teaching us stuff, and about 5 minutes after I started getting in to it he went "Ok! We're done now! Have a good weekend! :) :) :) :)" WHA? Awwwww.... I was well bummed (oooer) Alex came back so we could sort the book list out - we're buying half the books each and sharing them. Even doing that has cost me over £100. I started to weep silently once he left...

We went to Wetherspoons eventually for some eats, but by that time I was so hungry I actually could have eaten all my flatmates as well as Lissi's friendies who came to visit. Put my foot in it a bit, actually (what's new there?) When Abby asked her mate James to come and meet her there... This bloke walks in wearing a checked flat cap, big overcoat and tie (yummeh) and he was rather short. "OOOaye! here's Del Boy and Rodney!" Turns out 'Rodney' was James and Del Boy was his mate. They came and sat with us. They wanted to know why my head was a tomato and had imploded with embarassment. I think I died there and then, while Laura and Hayley died laughing at my embarassment.

I went downstairs to watch a film with Liss and Luke, which naturally turned in to a gossip/bitching session. As I remarked, I don't think I've ever had a conversation that hasn't revolved around talking about someone else or turned in to a complete bitch fest. I got a text from Lissi:

Lissi: "Tonight was EGGTASTIC!!"
Leah: "lol, eggtastic? Explain ^^"
Lissi: "you'll see..."

Followed by lots of hehehe and teehee texts. I must admit, I was scared to my very core. I don;t know what I was expecting. Egg carnage? The kitchen covered in eggs? Eggs thrown at me when I walk through the door? Eggs made of plastercine all over the flat? egg mess all over the flat? You get the picture - I was worried. What I found was fab though - they'd drawn faces on the eggs and made little plastercine hairdos, which were the cutest things ever!

Of course, it RUINED THE EGGS COMPLETELY! And Lissi shan't be allowed to have guests again. This is obviously a joke - as I said to Lissi, I'm used to having eggs covered in shit and feathers, so plastercine is a luxury! I didn't really get to meet her friendies properly, which was a shame as I hear so many good things about them, but that time will come I'm sure - I do have a year left with the girl... help me... :P This blog is dedicated to Lissi, who waited so patiently all day for this. I hope she likes this one ^______________^

I Lo ve /you Tomorrow!

Yeah.,.. tomorrow. YOU willl get a blog tomorrow. I have had too amny shjots and Lissi is nout there somewhere - thank god Vecky is walking her home. /Lecture tomorrrow haha woo!

but in other wrds., you will get a vblog tomorrow. i dont know where i am right now in tomw. let alone whree i have been tonigt and today. :Loook forawrd to it. itwll b immense.

Drunk cxaLLED Adam, so i hope he was asleep/ otherwise i am dead. in more ways than ojne.

Oh, Sam, Really? Is That Your Mum?!

Ok, because I'm a twat/dedicated to getting what I want. And I am. But that isn't the point - I was up until 4 in the morning talking to Adam. O_O. Yeah - mammoth of a conversation and I FINALLY got him to actually tell me he likes me. I already knew he did, as just about EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD had told me before he bloody got round to it. Corrr, with looks like mine, he was lucky I didn't find someone here to snare in my net. Pffft. Like that would happen - I just get 'he came, he groped, he buggered off' situations and creepy stalkers. Who was in westfield tonight, as it happens. Behind me. OH. MY. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!! FUCK FUCKING OFF! *ahem* I apologise... But yeah - some people decided to SCREAM their way back in to Peak Court. At 5. Sometimes I wish I lived in a GTA game. It would make my life so much easier - *BANG* bullet in the brain, yeahhhhh!

Leapt on the bus just as Alicia was coming out, so we settled down. She then cried "Wait! My flatmate is coming!" (oooh eyyyy?) to the bus driver. It was then that my head fell off, as Seb the gorgey new flatmate ran on to the bus. Dear God! The definition of scrummy! We were sat right at the front and had to 'subtly' turn my head to look at him a bit. You know I don't do subtle, so you must know that failed. Corrrrr - DEFINITLY visiting downstairs this week for a better look. Hopeflly he won't just sit there muttering to himself like the other one does O_O

First lecture today! Wooo! Fell asleep in class today woo! Seriously - I have been introduced to Crime and Justice about 17 times now. I might JUST know what it entails by now ¬¬ We then had a 2 hour break between that and our next lecture. Ugghhhhhhhh soooo boring! If Amy hadn't have been there I think I may have just sucummed to boredom. The afternoon picked up hilariousness-wise, which is goooood of course. Did a 'rape dance' (don't ask) and laughed hysterically at Fagface (you know, that FUCKING IRRITATING girl on my course). She has had a hair cut. It is sooo uneven at the back. Lisa said she'd had it cut, but hadn't like it and finished it herself (probably). I said that she'd said something to piss the hairdresser off (Probably 'hello', knowing how irritating she is) and who had then ruined her hair for her. Yes, this may be mean. But she is a twat, and I don't care.

Sam, our lecturer, couldn't get the computer to link to the whiteboard, so he had to get this random woman to come in, which is when Amy said the title phrase. Sam is a Dr - he has a PHD. A Pretty Huge Dick, because of course that's what it means. Amy has made it so me and Lisa can no longer look at him without laughing. We spent the entire lecture cackling on the back row - I feel we will be separated by the end of the semester. Finished half an hour early, which was nice, as as nice as Sam is, he was telling us some truely boring stuff about the course. Yes. Some more. So Alex and I were doing some swanning again. What is swanning? It's when you are falling asleep and your falls forward, but you wake yourself up and jerk your head back. Like a swan eating stuff. I dunno - my mum taught me that and it's stuck.

Before the lockdown shopping thing tonight I was gonna pop over to Lisa's. She, I and Emily were happily stood chatting waiting for the bus, when Fagface came and stood with us. ¬¬. Fuck. She then came and sat with us. Fuck some more (oooer, if you insist then ^_^) Made the BIGGEST TIT of myself (If that's even possible. I've most likely done that before) when Sam got on the bus. I looked at him. Hard. (lolz =3) I then bellowed "OMG I KNEW I recognised him from somewhere!" Yeah,only my lecturer whom I'd spent the last 2 hours watching pace around the front of the room and taking the mickey out of his layers of shirts. Excellent. I have had one lecture with him, and he already thinks I'm a twat.

Went to the lockdown, in which Westfield shops were kept open til 11, offering fab discounts and all that. I bought what I usually buy - earrings that will ruin my ears before I break and/or lose them, and a bra that probably won't fit me anyway. As is usual. The lovely Aled Jones from Radio One was there djing, which caused Abby and myself to RUN to paperchase to buy a pen so he could sign her shirt. I got him to sign a random piece of paper. Oh he is lovely. He has such a sweet little face with the biggest grin in the world! His eyes are actually brighter than Adam's, which I never thought I'd see.

Am watching Fievel Goes West. Because I am the awesomes, clearly, and at the tender age of 5 too. ¬¬. I noticed something: "Hello, I am a big fat Russian Mouse. This is my big fat Russian wife. We have Russian accents. Because we are Russian. From Russia. Our children were born there. In Russia. They are also Russian. Their accents are so American it is almost painful." Maybe this is why I should stop watching kids' films. A child wouldn't critically assess their fave childhood films. I blame drama. And of course myself, for being a picky bitch.

The fucking Spanish lot are at it again, much to poor Hayley's dismay. Lissi is the only person having a good time tonight - her boyfriend is over, which is just what she needs at the moment. There's only so much I can do to cheer her up (tee hee). Hayley can't sleep due to the Spanish people moving furniture and generally being arseholes, Laura and I are bored out of our brains tbh I don't give a shit what the other one is doing or where she is. She is a grumpy old moo.

To finish - 'Here is a new hat. A new hat that has been in my family for generations...' Not really a new hat then, is it? It's a bloody old hat.

Where Did You Put My Balls?

Yes Hayley, where DID you put my balls? My quorn meatballs, that is. Purchased of course so Lissi can do cooking things with them and I'm fussy and don't eat meat. Jamie, as in Oliver, will love me. The only reason I am mentioning that pain in the arse (Don't get me started. Just don't. Although he makes me laugh A LOT.) is because after watching the Inbetweeners (yet another funneh episode) I went to watch it again on 4OD and had to sit through an advert for Jamie's new show about breaking America. He cried about fat kids wanting their pizza and not wanting lettuce. I know he's devoted to the cause and everything, but that's also the saddest thing I've ever seen anyone do EVER. Look, if the fat fucks want to feed their fat fuck children nothing but pizza, let them. Don't try and fight them - their gargantum weight advantage means they ARE infact able to kill you with a single step.

Although I found the Inbetweeners funny, I do have a slight bone to pick. They went to see the new Saw film, which would have been Saw VI judging on the time the episode was filmed. At no point were the noises aired during the show EVER featured in the actual Saw VI. You may call me sad for being able to recognise that, but I luuuuurve the Saw films and also retain movie info like a sponge.

Up at the crack of 9:45 to do shopping things with Lissi. Bought an ironing board and draining board, along with an airer for pants and for big things. Am domestic goddess, quite clearly. Can do ironing and... dry clothes and dishes... and yeah, I suck and am lazy. Missed the bus to uni, typical me, so made Alicia wait to get the next one with me. I braved it today and took the bandage off my boob. Woo! Freshers' fair was packed, and people seemed to be making a beeline for me. Yeah, the bandage went straight back on when I got back. Had to actually say "Do I look like the kin of person that reads a bible?" In order to avoid being handed one. Alicia, Alex and I walked back together, which was fun times again.

I was ranting about the Bible thing to Hayley a little later on - I'm not being narrowminded, people can believe what they want, but Jesus supposedly died for our sins. Good for him. However, he did this thousands of years ago, and since then people have sinned and sinned some more, so it was pointless and crap. Also - the sins back then were "ohhh, I did kick on a sheep!" whereas today it could be something like "I hid hard drugs in the stab wound left by the knife I put in the back of my wife as she gave birth to her 3rd child that isn't even mine." God really would have a field day at that... So would Jeremy Kyle, for that matter. "You carried a knife around?! WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT?!?!?" Um, he did - the back of his wife. Duh! ^_^

Had to be back in time for the asda delivery, so I panicked when it reached 2 and I was still walking up the stairs. Laura and Lissi were both in, and the delivery came at about half 3 anyway, so once again I panicked for bugger all reason. Alicia sent me a text telling of a scrummy new flatmate moving in with them downstairs - hmmmm, will deffo be going down again for some drinky games and movies, aka a gawk. Asda man came and made me trapse all the way downstairs. I got excited when he handed me a mere 2 bags. Before telling me he'd bring the rest of them to the door - all 10 or so of them ¬¬. Just at that point Hayley came home, so I didn't have to struggle alone. Plus I think I locked myself out of the flat at that point anyway, so her timing was impecible.

We lounged around for aaaaaaaages - she stole my ds :( (kidding, of course) and we had a moan about the spanish lot living next door to us, blasting their odd music out of their flat at all times. We heard the music. We looked out of my window. They were leaving. Fab! Oh wait, they left the bollocking music playing. How nice of them. They then started to shout up at someone in another flat. EVER HEARD OF A FUCKING MOBILE PHONE?!?! Shut up. Seriously. I know it was mid afternoon, but it was still a pain in the arse!

Hayley and I took the recycling out, to save the planet and be nice etc... and also so the cleaners would actually clean the flat tomorrow. Not that they actually clean it much - they just moved ALL the stuff from the kitchen counter on to the table, leaving it messier. So fail for you. All the recycling went in one skip, so we tipped it all in, our glass bottles smashing and coating the cardboard in a beautiful layer of glass and making as much noise as humanly possible, of course. We then realised you couldn't put glass in the skip. Woops...

We took the long way round to avoid the RAs who were stood watching us. One walked round to meet us, me laughing hysterically and hiding in my hoody, blates not doing a very good job. Come on - it's me. I'm about as subtle as a flamingo playing a game of hide and seek on a blank sheet of paper. Conversation was as follows:

RA: hey guys! Are you alright?
Leah: YEAH! *dies laughing*
RA: did you just put glass in the blue skip?
Hayley: Was it the blue one...?
Leah: YES!
RA: You're not meant to put glass in that one.
Leah: Ah. Well, I don;t think we were told.
RA: did you go to a welcome meeting?
Leah: yeah.
RA: You were told then
Leah: Ah... O_O We won't do it again!
*walking back to the flat, stood next to a window wide open, under which the RA is stood directly below*
Leah: WHY THE HELL DID HE ASK IF WE'D PUT GLASS IN THE SKIP? YOU COULD HEAR IT THE AMOUNT OF BLOODY NOISE IT MADE!!
Hayley: Leah, that window's wide open
Leah: O___________O I'm just gonna keep digging now...

Our tales certainly did cheer Lissi up a bit when she got home, as well as our wonderful cooking. I say 'our' but I was trying to work skype at the time. I did the last 5 minutes of pizza watch - blates the most crucial point and most important, of course. ¬¬. I say I was trying to work Skype, but it really didn't work. I couldn't work out why it wasn't doing anything for ages until I realised I wasn't even logged in to the damn thing. Twat. ¬¬ Then mum was just a big black box swearing a lot, much to Hayley's amusement. Had to go in time to watch the Inbetweeners, of course.

After that I had the wonderful 'music' coming from outside to serenade me while I blogged. It wasn't music. It was drunken 'singing' and 'guitar playing'. Hayley came in for another rant - the Spanish people are SO BLOODY LOUD! And were stopping her sleeping, bless her. Lissi called and asked me if I wanted to go to the pub, which the answer would be yes, but am shattered and have first lecture tomorrow. I know it's at 12, but want to be all fresh etc, and have been sleeping very little lately. Plus, it meant physically getting up and walking to the pub. And as I said before, I'm lazy :P

GET IN THERE MY LAD!!

Despite what you may think, this was not aimed at someone 'getting with' (whatever that means) a girl at a nightclub or something. Or a guy telling his mates a particularly thrilling story about getting some the night before. Nope, this was the guy from the chippy, trying to get people to buy some chips. £1 a portion I'll have you know. Nothing says 'eat at my joint' better than bellowing at poor shoppers trying to make their way quietly down a street.

I woke up at about...er.... 1, half 1 maybe? Yet again, my sheet had come off. Why do I thrash around in my sleep? Am I literally like a dog in that when I run in a dream I do some actual comic running? No wait, scrap that. Me? Run? You've got to be kidding. Wandered in to Lissis room to chat, looking incredibly sexy for her poor friend whom she was skyping at the time. Woops. I'm sure it was a sight to behold O_O

Had a v productive day as far as household tasks are concerned - eventually gave room a bit of a tidy and booverd around. I say eventually, as every 5 minutes or so I would find something interesting to read or I'd stop altogether to watch a bit of WallE. Lissi, Laura and I also washed a load of clothings, so I now have them drying in various places all over my room and bathroom. Things to invest in - an airer, for obvious reasons, and a printer so I don't have to keep bothering Lissi and using up all her ink. Cause I suck, like that (oooh 'ey up!)

Slumped at the laptop for a few hours. I ate a lot today cause I had nothing better to do - it was apples and pears, but it was still baaaaaaaaaaad. I'm gonna have to lock my food away, not only from a certain someones certain friends who are most certainly gonna steal it cause they are certainly trouble-makers. Certain. *twack* Ahem, but also from myself. Cause I'm a fat fuck, to put it bluntly. As soon as freshers is over my new health stance will begin. By new health stance, I mean walking everywhere. Sometimes. and joining the pole dancing society. That is for many reasons - 1. it's good for you and keeps you trim. 2. it looks like bloody good fun. 3. As Dave, the head of my course always stresses (not about pole dancing in particular, I may add) it's a TRANSFERABLE SKILL, and lord knows we all need a lot of them. 4. It's sexual. I'm sexual. The pair go hand in hand. The ability to SPELL would also be a good skill to have.

The boredom cycle of eating/playing bejeweled blitz was broken by myself getting up to put money in my panda and glancing out of the window. In the flat directly opposite me was a girl sat at her desk, typing away at her laptop. Stood directly behind her was a topless bloke. Thrusting. A lot. O_O Uh... When I had scraped my jaw off the floor, naturally the first thing I did was post a facebook status about it. I swear I'll end up being one of those people who would see someone collapse then post about it on facebook before calling an ambulance. ¬¬ saddo...

Ughhhhhhh then Lissi DRAGGED me kicking and screaming in to town to look at some pictures. I kid, of course. It was loads of fun - she'd entered a photography competition where she was given a word or phrase and had to take a pic interpreting that phrase. Her word was 'beautiful' and she took this lovely shot of Luke handing a note with 'you're beautiful' written on it to Alicia. Then the organisers had taken everyone's pics together to tell a story. Some of the pictures were lol. It was really nice stood in the square with the pics being projected on a big screen. When Lissis pic came up I did this sort of gruff 'woo' thing, which was just embarassing.

We then went to the chippy I mentioned before. Purely cause Maccy Ds was shut, much to our dismay. The nommest chips in the world were served to us by one of the friendlist guys on the planet (despite still having to be there at 1, having started at 3 or something hideous.) Lissi has never had chips and gravy before. My jaw had a close encounter with the floor at that loool. Headed out to a beach themed foam party for a little while, me yet again wearing those naffing pj bottoms from the uv party having AGAIN left the choice item of clothing at home. "Nooooo, mum, I won't need to take my shorts! pfft! That's stuuuupid!" ¬¬ Utter pillock - oh, you called?

Now, I am not a fan of foam parties. Granted, they are fun, but when I get surrounded by the stuff I completely spazz out. Not exactly the best thing to go in (water-based foam) when you have a fear of deep water, being underwater, and drowning. Even being right on the edge was not enough distance from the LARGEST FOAM CANNON IN THE COUNTRYYYYYYY!!!! Um, no. It was rather tiny. If it was the largest foam cannon in the country, it would have been able to fill an entire football stadium or the like. This one couldn't really top an entire tiny nightclub. Still spazzed a little, like most of the people in there. Once outside, we had to look for Becki who had wandered off to get a burger. Lissi asked a guy if he had seen 'a pretty blonde girl with hair this long' (a bob) to which he replied "well, I've seen a pretty girl with hair this long" and grabbed for her hair. I just went "Oh, well she's with me though" and crushed her in my chest. He looked startled for a moment before stuttering "Oh. Uh. Well, no I haven't seen her then" That's the way I roll - stupid berk.

Got in at 12 or so. Cause we are uber hardcore? Yes, let's go with that one haha. Got up the courage to sniff the 'Horror Flatmate's random box in the fridge - it looks like she has shat in the box. It smelt of gone-off meat... stuff... She had put it next to MY LETTUCE! UM, NO! We're not doing that! Said flatmate was once again on the phone. Ughhhhh... Lissi was complaining of hunger but had no foods. I told her I had nepolitan cup cake things. I can tell when Lissi likes something I've said - she goes dead quiet, stops what she's doing, widens her eyes and turns around really slowly haha. I didn't even need to ask and grabbed them from my room... Hidden in there due to a certain flatmates certain fri- NO! I am NOT doing this again!

You get it about the hideous flatmate though, right? It's got to the point when Lissi was worried about leaving a bag of dirty clothes in the kitchen through fear of theft. It really shouldn't be like that. Nuh Uh. Even my soy sauce is in here with me. O_O Ah well - I love everyone else, and that's enough ^______^ Up early (ish) tomorrow. Most people for lectures - we're off to Ann Summers! God, how I love it in there..... Might have to stop talking to Adam at some point then... Noooo, I don't wanna! Ahaha, what a tool :)

I Know There's Stage Fright, But This Is Taking The Piss!

God damn, that it was, but more on that story later. Picture? Me kissing what I called the 'Angelina Jolie' of the gibbon communnity. Obviously attempting to encourage an 'ard on situation.

It really was lovely not to have to hear 'Four ways Farm' this morning. Ahhhh... I woke up at about 10 due to A) getting a text, and B) being as hot as, well, I usually am, obvs, but with added 'sweating like a pig' senario. Why did I wear my hoody to bed? And blates have become addicted to commas in every sentence. Um.... yeah? But yes - 10 was obviously a hideous time to wake up. I was eventually woken at about half 12 by Jadey ringing asking if I wanted to go to the zoo with them... Did I want to go to the zoo... Did IIIII want to go to the zoo?.... um let me think about tha-YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! I was very excited about going to the zoo, mainly because it is a zoo specializing in chimps and shit, so I had high expectations about seeing an 'ard on (don't ask) and getting instant internet fame after my cackle is played to the world. I would have been more than happy to complain had there been no monkey hard ons. As hideous as that may sound, but it's true. "Excuse me, but I came here expecting to see monkeys with hard ons, and you have failed to deliver. Now, you specialize in apes and that, so where are my hardons???" Infact, when Grace later recorded me for her video blog, I embarassed myself a little (woah) My comment of "It's the smallest number of hard ons I've ever seen in one day" is now going to be played on youtube by thousands. Well, if it makes the final cut, that is.

I love zoos, even if we were the oldest people there, and we didn't even have a young child as an excuse to go for our own enjoyment. The gibbons in the very first enclosure made me almost wee myself laughing - one threw a random cup at another than rapidly chased it around the enclosure. It reminded me of Christian/a massive chav in some way. I dunno why... Oh yeah - cause it was violent, random and completely uneccessary... just like Chris, infact ¬¬

I laughed rather a lot at the sealions being fed, aka ME being fed - watching a MASSIVE sealion scoot itself out of the water was actally hilarious! It was then the penguin feeding. As soon as the random dismembered womans voice (I have NO IDEA where she was) said "Now, we will go on to feed the penguins" the crowd started to move. Grace and I edged round to the edge of the crowd, before breaking out in to a run. Even women with pushchairs were stampeding towards the penguin enclosure, but not before I got there! Out of my way, small children. I may be several feet taller than you, but I NEED to be at the front to be able to see more clearly. Obviously. Jeez, so bloody selfish. I named one Penguin Danny De Vito as it was tiny, with a mahoosive beak and spent most of its time strutting/slipping all over the place. And the meercats and flamingoes actually made my day. Ever watch a meerkat stand on its hind legs and then fall on its arse? It;s proper funny - I'd recommend watching it. I realise it maaaay be hard to come across in everyday situations...

On to a comedy club that night with Hayley - right up my alley (ooer) so I was mega excite (again, not a typo. Ever seen Borat? Yeah, exactly.)so we managed to scrape enough money together to get a taxi there, thinking we could get money out at the student union bar. Um, no we couldn't. We had to walk all the way to the blessed shop (no David, not the holy shop. I just cba to swear or anything) Naturally I had worn my new tranny shoes, what normal people call heels, and couldn't walk in them. So there I was, at 7 in the evening, leaving an event carrying my heels. Hardcore doesn't even come close to being accurate enough. I think I scared Hayley a little with my 'ahhhhh'-ing at v smooth bits of ground. Why did a random taxt driver keep talking to us? This isn't a joke - I genuinely don't know. I think I was providing most of the comedy by just moaning about my soon-to-be lack of feet.

We had been told to expect the comedians at 8:45. Got there at about 20 to - fab! just in time... Ooooer, te 'free bbq' is being sorted. Did I say BBQ? I meant single burger. Asking for a veggie burger was obviously one of the most difficult things to comprehend for the bar staff. It was a vegetable burger, made purely of vegetables. It wasn't like I'd asked them to cook me an entire pig. We waited aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages for le comedians to come on - me loudly saying the phrase chosen for the title of this blog. Eventually, a guy stood near us got up on stage and turned out to be introducing the acts. Bollocks. Ok, that's fine. Just brush it off... God, this guy is crap... just conversing with the 'crowd' (all 15 or so of us.)...

It was only then that another guy, also stood near us, got up on stage and introduced himself as the comedian. O_O. Fail - We were now trapped in this shite 'comedy' show as if we'd have left they'd have said something, possibly picking up on the fact that we had both been slagging them off mere mintutes before. Once that stupid bloke got back on stage, Hayley managed to sneak away - he saw, and made a comment. A little while later I literally just got up and walked out. Pain in the ass - waste of a night.

Got in and put on pjs, before instantly going down to see Vetty and Alicia. I looked v sexy in me owl pjs, blates. Played more drinking games before most peoples went out - Alicia, Luke and I (and the weird one O_O) were gonna attempt to watch My Sisters Keeper. Alicia messaged Lissi telling her I was being held at ransom in return for alcohol. Lissi soon arrived (I am loved tee hee) to free me - I say to free me, but we were having a blast, and it was made even better when she got there.

We both crashed about in Lissi's room once we got in. Waking Hayley. Woops... Made Lissi start her own blog, so dear readers - check out lissi-howard.blogspot.com for some more laughs from Derby uni! As you can imagine - it is an awesome blog in the making ^_^ both Lissi and Hayley have started reading my blog and love it, which is lovely of them and also a massive ego boost. My head can actually get bigger?? O_O Spoke to Adam again tonight, attempting to get him to commit to coming to visit me at some point. He's lovely, but a little dense at times. Even if I was to write 'Me want sex with you." I don't think he would get it ¬¬ Is he even male? I sometimes question that too. All jokes aside - yes, he will visit at some point. When that will be, neither of us knows. Bugger...

Couldn't Do That Again If I Tried

This title is in reference to something I did earlier - I was in the process of showing Hayley my new outfit for tomorrow night and picked up a flower hair grip from my desk, and threw it in my cup of tea. I know for a fact that had I triiiiied to get it in to the cup, I'd have managed to throw it out of the window ¬¬ and you know it.

Dragged self out of bed at half 8, remembering I was meeting Amy and Sallie at 9 to walk to uni (I was gonna say school. Ahhhh, force of habit), so queue the Benny Hill Theme and a massive 'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK' (corrrr, yes please ^_^) and stampede round my room, although quietly so as to not wake the others up. I like having a wander and a chat, I'm all for a good gossip. Also - why am I so bloody slow and lumbering? I ploughed in to some random woman trying to get to Nunnery on time. When I say ploughed, it was more painful for her, as it was a slow plough. Can you really plough in to someone slowly? Well, i managed it. It was like we were both flying in slow motion, my face slowly contorting in to a look of horror and pain at pierced boob being wacked, and her face changing from one ugly 'I am a knob' face to another 'I am a knob' face. It was like I'd crashed in to a photo walking down the street.

Had to do those bollocking presentations today. Ugh... I had the introduction to do. It was basically "Hi. You know what drugs are. Hell, you've probably even done them at some point. So now I will hand you over to the other people in my group who have blatantly done fuck loads more work than I have." In a nutshell, that was what I said. Apparantly, we should legalise weed as some bloke 'Likes it'. DONE! Where is my spliff, then?

We had lunch at 12, even though we were do for the final lecture... thing at 2. It couldn't be moved forward due to some 3rd years coming in to talk at us about a load of old bollocks to do with our course. Moral of the first year? Don't do an essay over a 35 hour period surviving on ciggies and haribo. I don't smoke anyway, so why would I give a toss? Those are your pearls of wisdom? E minus, aka fail. Must try harder. Once again, I fell asleep during it. Not my fault, but there was literally 3 THINGS I could have been doing. Probably. One of them blates being sleeping.

Walked back with Alex after what seemed to be about 17 years of being sat there just staring at them. Every time somene asked them a question I stabbed them in my head - it was all time I could have been NOT in the room. He walked me all the way back to Peak Court just to see if I was alright, which was nice even if it was the middle of the day and extremely bright and sunny. Laura also told me I had post, so I got very excited, as it would only be from home. It was a lot of bank stuff, which means I can FINALLY access my student account! Well, in principle. I still haven't actually done it yet, cause I fail.

We did an online asda shop, which was actually a hideously painful experience that is best not to be repeated. Spent ages trying to work out totals by hand only for me to realise, right at the end, typically, that I had infact brought a calculator with me ¬¬ It's ok though - it didn't work properly anyway! ^______________^ and then had some more foods together. I really like eating together! I made more pasta, but with a cheese and sweetcorn sauce I made myself! Yeah - I boiled the kettle and everything, added the powder and all that. When I poured it on it looked like someone had upchucked on my plate. Uhh... nom?

Getting ready to go out was rather hilarious. It was the UV party today, and I had been saying all week how my outfit was completely sorted, with my white shir- hang on, shirt? excuse me - TENT! An XL shirt, which swamps me completely *victory dance* ahem. anyway - with black leggings. I went to get them out of my wardrobe. Hmmmm... no sign. I know, Mum put everything away, I'll just give her a ring... "Hi mum it's me! :) You know my black leggings? Yeah th- oh. I bloody knew it!! Fucking hell, really? BOLLOCKS! I don't actually believe it! Well I- yeah well that's not my fault... yeah I know I never cleaned them, but with so many spiders they would soon be ba- no, those duck stickers aren't meant to be peeled off... So as there is a mark on the wall now, you COULD have just left the stickers on the wall, correct?" I'd left my bollocking leggings at home! There I was, all week while talking to several people "oh, I left such and such at home, doh!" My big head: "Really? I haven't forgotten anything! ^_^" ¬¬ Pj bottoms it was....

I was sat happily having a chat, to Adam no less (who else would I be talking to? Well, friends and the like, but he is the definition of nom so... uhh.. I forget the point I was trying to make... ) and I somehow managed to spill bacardi all over my top and seat. It looked like I got so excited I pissed myself and then dribbled all down my front. The DEFINITION of sexy, as I'm sure you'll agree... It looked like I'd had an upwards accident... Everyone came in to my room to watch Up before we set off. I spilt wine all over my floor,naturally. Everyone has already discovered that I am incredibly clumsy after I spilt brine all over all of Hayley's kitchen stuff. Had to be brine - now the entire kitchen stinks of fish (as I said, an entire fish's carcass lovingly shoved somewhere in our flat) not rosemary oil or something nice smelling. Of course not...

Eventually got to le club and found Lissi covered in UV paint and more glow sticks etc than what she left the flat with, which was rather lol. Ended up standing right next to the speakers when the random DJ guy started talking, which made my head literally explode. Why do you need to shout while using a microphone? Answer: you don't. So stop with the shouting thing. Speaking of stopping and such, imagine who I saw to my absolute HORROR dancing near us when I turned to talk to Vetty and Liss - that random bloke that spent wednesday night 'dancing' behind me and basically stalking me. Ohhhhhhh I was soooooo happy about that element! Yeah, almost as happy as when... er.. something happened that made me very stressed! I can't really think right now, although judging by Lissi's reaction while she was trying to asda shop I would have to go with something like that. She has the patience of a saint. By the time she got stressed, had it been me I'd have already thrown the laptop at the wall, kicked it, trodden on it and then poured a jug of water over it. Blates before making it head out of the nearest window, of course.

Because we are so hardcore, we got there at 10 and left at 12 for more film and some hot choc with squirty cream (FTW) which I keep safely in my room that I can lock. All my cakey things got moved in here when a certain someone moved in to the flat. A certain someone who has gone away for the weekend, so everyone feels a lot lot happier. It shouldn't be like that - yeah, it's relaxing living here and stuff etc, but when she's in I feel like I can't say ANYTHING without fear of being beaten up. She's capable of doing that. She told Lissi and I the first time she spoke to us O_O
Much to our absolute horror.

So yeah, it was a good albeit brief night. I'm very much looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Might go see Aunty Sam and co... might go to J con (Y) so many plans, so little time... and with it being 3 in the morning and me stopping drinking at 10, no hangover! Epiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic ^__________________^

Apple? It's GOOD!

I didn't actually bring that film with me to uni O_O I must remember to bring it when I next visit home. Not that I know when that will be. Is it wrong that I don't really feel house sick at the moment? I'm sure that will come - at the moment it feels more like a holiday than anything else. Many of my friends are going home this weekend. I can't afford it for one thing, but I figured it would be a better visit if I left it a little longer. ^_^

Anyways, back to last night. Jesus, where do I start? Twas truely a tip top night! I wandered over to Nunnery Court to bother Amy and met her flat mates - who were all equally as lovely as her, although we all locked ourselves in Amy's room so she and Claire could tell me horror stories about one of their roomates - made our horror stories seem like kids' fairy tales O_O I promised to see them later and headed home - Lissi was just heading out so I 'cooked' some soup and had a natter with Hayley before finally beginning to get ready for the 118 party. The only white vest I own is one I wear quite often, so I was just going to write 118 on paper. I used Lissi's pens and set to work. Despite watching her USE said pens just the other day and padding out the shirt she was writing on to prevent it marking the table, with its permanent ink and all, I wrote directly on to one sheet of paper. Adam got very O_O when I didn't reply for 15 mins. It was because I was frantically scrubbing at my desk with cleaner and bleach using a dish brush. Hayley and Laura got very worried when I kept running in to the kitchen for more supplies.

Danielle arrived, followed by Abby with shots (Y). Vetty and Liss FINALLY arrived, and luckily they'd dressed up too! So it wasnt just Lissi and myself looking like tools. After a few piccies, we headed out, with Liss and I both doing a Degree in Crime and Justice and both leaving with a massive bottle of booze in our hands, both knowing that it was illegal to drink in the street. They were both extremely full bottles (both our second) and I've never downed a drink so fast in my life. Lissi ha a panic attack and had to run back to the flat thinking she'd left her straighteners on. Vetty and I were gobsmacked about how fast she can run - she genuinely looked like a 118 guy, albeit minus the hideous moustache and afro combo. And also because she's female.

The piccy is Vetty, Myself, Liss, Danielle and Lissi, taken by some more girlies from our block heading over to the Walkabout also. And who were also pretty pissed. Our little group soon became a huge mass of people as the entire lot of people living in Peak Court (where I live. Obvs.) headed over together. It was immense ^_^ Our wristbands enabled us to queue jump, although that meant we instantly lost the new girl. Meh. Shit happens.

Inside was IMMENSE! A dancefloor, a stage, Podiums... Bar was the first port of call,of course, and Vetty and i did 6 shots, plus 2 free ones. Set us up for the night methinks. Spent most of the time dancing on the podium, leading the crowd in Grease Lightning, Mr Brightside and, le piace de resissance, Don't Stop Me Know! Immenseness! I had 'What's YOUR number ;)' written on my back, and some guy instantly grabbed a pen and wrote his number on my arm. Um. No. Can't get the bastard thing off now...

Headed over to the rollerdisco at about 12, only to find it was shut and we had to wait until half 1 until the disco opened. The normal disco, that is ¬_¬. I was so drunk I couldn't be arsed to move, so Vetty, Danielle and I stayed and had a chat and made friends with the security guards. By this stage I was even more drunk - We got given tickets on the way in for free shots. Of Apple Smirnoff. UGHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO-oh, ok then ^_________________^ It was hideous though. We got let in early, and were the only people on the dance floor for about an hour. Immense and completely hardcore. Eventually some more people wandered in, much to my delight. I remember running at this girl and screaming "PERSON! YOU'RE A PERSON!" to which she replied "You too! I LOVE PEOPLE!!!" And spent most of the night dancing with her.

Did i say just her? I meant her and my random stalker bloke who would not FUCK OFF! He could not dance, AT ALL and spent the entire time dribbling on my neck. I moved, he followed. Whenever I turned around, he was THERE IN MY FACE! Do the fucking off thing, PLEASE! And also - spent a while dancing with James. Who told me he'd had a massive argument with his girlfriend, and then promptly stuck his tongue down my throat. Huh. Eventually the reason we went there in the first place occcured - a balloon drop, with balloons filled with moneys. Someone nicked my fiver. Heartbreaking.

Eventually bimbled home at 3 in the morning - according to a text I found this morning this guy was meant to walk me home. Woops. He didn't do a very good job - we fell through the doors to our flats respectively and both instantly went on facebook. Of course. Without him walking us home. I had to be at uni for half 9. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooo. And I must apologise - I sarted writing this blog before going out. Andnow I am back, after doing random shots/playing I have never. Again.... I seem to love that game. But yes - typosetca re to be expected - but I am trying so hard here! So I can get this postedtonight - ihas literally taken me 4 hours or so thus far. And Jack Black singnig on The Holiday is vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv distracting - he's another one of those blokey things with a really goood voice ^_^ H?aaaaa, I;m still drinking now - I stcked up on my essentials earlier - glow sticks, fruit and alcohol wooo! Don't try pineapple bacardi breezer. It's hideous and doesn't taste as if it even knows what a pineapple apple (lolz =3) is.

Up again to get in to uni for half 9. up at half 7 texting people to find out i theywere actually coming on the tour of the librus (from the latin: meaning 'shhhh!') which i genuinely fell asleep during. After working on project work (which was shite - my group is kinda naff. It's made up of older students that all know each other.) I buggered off as soon as I could, by that I mean when Lisa came over to rescue me. We decided to go in to town, and literally 5 minutes after a conversation about walking everywhere in an attempt to stay healthy, we decided we were soooo tired and lazy that we got the bus in.

My student loan came in today, so to celebrate i bought a whole new outfit to wear on friday when I go to the comedy club with Hayley on saturday. Although it took the saleswoman about 90 years to find the price of my shoes. On sale, of course. And Lisa and I stocked up on stuff for the uv party tomorrow (which is now today) tee hee.

We all had dinner together today, which I loved. I actually love my flatmates - they are so awesomes and we all get on so well! My day was officially made by Lissi - after the girls demanded (lolz =3) that I tell them the details of the whole James thing (Lissi's jaw had to be scraped off the floor when I told her haha) I used the phrase 'He came, he groped, he buggered off' and Lissi, completely deadpan, said 'maybe he felt like shit'. Heads turned, conversation stopped and we all just looked at her as she continued to enjoy her pasta. Eventually, she realised how what she'd said had come across and we actually died there and then. We all laughed for a full 5 minutes.

Eventually Laura headed over to Abby's for her birthday - Lissi was tired and Hayley and I went a little later on. I went wit every intention of not drinking and just popping in to say hi. A few dinks turned in to many, and eventually when I went to leave with Hayley, Katy, Am, Phill, Abby and Laura all screamed at me not to leave, which was the awesomes. Abby and I made Laura sit through the intro to Fushigi Yuugi (Abby has the box set. I officially love her, and may spend a lot of time at their flat!) And we all had an amazing time just chatting (and shotting, obviously) and we all got birthday cake and I GOT A BALLOON! Wooooo!

Another amazing night - and as I was telling my mum earlier, I do miss her, of course. But I seriously having the time of my life here!

Malted Milks

I'm feeling a little uncreative when it comes to blog titles today, so I just went with what I just found in my wardrobe and am currently enjoying ^____^ I'd forgotten how nom these things are! Speaking of noms, I burst out laughing during a lecture today as a youth support group working with rehabilitation methods and practices is called NOMS. Mega lol!

Getting ready this morning I got a text from Liss asking if I was getting the bus in. I was planning on walking, but I'm all for being social in the morning :) We got given free bus tickets on monday at that shite halls meeting. I looked at my tickets sat on my desk. I went and dessimated a lettuce and block of cheese to form 'sandwiches'.... of sorts... ¬¬ I had a slice of toast. I came back in to my room. I looked at the tickets again. I checked my purse for money. I shut down my laptop. I looked at the tickets AGAIN. I left my room. I left the block. I met Liss. We walked to the bus stop. We complained about the bus being late. The bus arrived. I paid the £1.60 fare. For a 5 minute trip. All the while my tickets were having a whale of a time sat on my desk some more. They really enjoyed it on there ¬_¬ I am a complete twat.

Speaking of complete twats, after last night I am certainly one. Drunken conversations online are not the way to move forward in a relationship. They just annoy the person at the other end who has to sleep. Whom you are not allowing to sleep. I remember when I first told my mum about Adam just before I moved out she told me not to get emotionally attached just before leaving for uni. Ok then. Sooooo... is it ok to get emotionally attached once I get TO uni? :) Things really are good at the moment. On many different fronts ^_______________^

Today we had more lectures, as I mentioned before and I took 7 sides of notes O_O I didn't have to look up to tell when the slide had been changed - Alex's groan of frustration just let me know haha. It's a good thing I have a talent for swift note taking. At lunch Alex asked for my notes - lessons haven't even started yet haha! Although I doubt he'll be able to understand my shorthand. I may have to provide him with additional notes for that...

We then got split in to different groups to prepare 15 minute presentations for friday morning. I was in the group doing drugs (obviously, not in THAT way. You tools.) but made an ass of myself (again) by going over to the group and going "Are you drugs? Yeah? Woo! I'm all for drugs!" Luckily they all laughed. Woo! More friendies!

Tonight is the night of the 118 roller disco (despite having this conversation on the way to Skeggy, I cannot remember if it's ar ar or er er :/) ah well - so anyways, Am gonna finish watching the Little Mermaid (How it should be watched - on the comfort on my own laptop. How it should not be watched - in the common room by 3 foreign girls forcing others to sit through it and giving people who are even just walking through a look as though they have just walked in to their house on Christmas Morning and pissed all over their kids' pressies. OMFG that scared me witless - a girl on the phone under my window (3 floors down, bare in mind) started saying someone's name, which sounded like 'I know' just as Ariel asked "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?" "I know" Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?" "I know" O______________________________________O where was I? Ah yes - after finishing the Little Mermaid I am going to wander over to Amy's to borrow a pair of red shorts for tonight. God, there are going to be some SEXY pctures uploaded after tonight!!

Drinking A Fine Wine

Ok, so tonight was meant to be a quiet night in, chilling, maybe dvding it up etc etc, or so I told my mum (she has called herself "The Stalker" - it's kinda true, she's texted me everyday so far... She'll soon get bored haha ^^) so we could go on skype together... Yeahhhh... kinda went out of the window.

After having some foods with everyone (bar the new girl. As lovely as she is, she doesn't really talk to us much :/) and obvs minus Hayley eating as she was off out with her Boyfriend, Lissi and I popped down 2 floors below ours to say hello to some people we said hello to on our way down to the shitty halls meeting. Alicia is on my course, so I knew her anyway.

We went with the intention of only staying for an hour or so, just popping in to say hello and wish Vetty a happy birthday, and Lissi was true to this, leaving at about 10 or so. It is just after midnight and I've just got in, so my call of 'I'll see you in a few minutes' was a vast under-estimate. We just sat in their corridoor chatting the entire night. We played a few drinking games too - Arrogance, in which I accidentally caused Liss (Alicia, not a typo) to drink a cocktail of wine, beer and badcardi. Yummmmm and the game of 'I Have Never' got abandoned rather quickly due to intersting conversation. I had so much fun and got a little tipsy too, which is always good (how strong was that wine? Lol =3) I left shortly after spilling Liss's entire glass of drink over. Woops...

Popping over for pre drinkies before the 118 roller disco tomorrow, which should be good and also heading over saturday for a night out to celebrate Vetty's birthday properly. This week is actally amazing! Like, in every way. Apart from the fact that I came home late, so am quietly in my room typing and not doing much else, as everyone else is asleep. Whereas a certain someone is on the phone IN THE KITCHEN WITH THE DOOR OPEN TALKING VERY LOUDLY and slamming cupboard doors. Dear God help me...

GOD HELP YOU, YOU MUST GET EXPERIENCE!

Ahhh, up at the crack of half past 8 in order to wander up to campus for another gathering. By gathering, I mean a load of ice-breaker activities, which are kinda poitnless seeing as most of us already know each other thanks to that wonderful thing that is called Facebook... For one exercise we had to think of a really random question and get answers from everyone, including lecturers. Angie, a lecturer (Am I even spelling this right?) asked me the question "If, for some bizarre reason you woke up as a man, what would you miss and what would you do first?" Initial thought - have a wank. Um, no. Not the best thing to say, although I honestly answered when I said I'd miss my boobs.

Although, you know when you first meet someone, if you find them ever-so-slightly irritating, you give them a chance, right? Even if literally EVERYONE in the class is annoyed by them after only one hour. Omg, my teeth have been gritting all day, thanks to one person on the course. Everyone was. At one point we were in smaller groups (naturally, this person was in the same group as me) and we had to think of a group name. Someone said 'ughhhh Kill Me Now' as a response to how they were feeling at that moment in time, and said person went 'OMG NOW THAT'S OUR GROUP NAME!!!' ¬_¬

Tpoic of discussion when we finally went to break. As soon as we got in the queue for foods Rachael said 'OMFG I FUCKING HATE THEM!' which pretty much covered what we all thought aswell. People who hadn't met this person were being warned about them. I think even the lecturers were a little uneasy about this person... After lunch we had a lecture from the Careers Advice Woman, who made us all feel like shit, to be quite honest. Katherine and Amy spent time on their phones, Lisa and I wrote notes and Sallie and I chatted, and Rachael actually fell asleep. The woman was not only really boring while speaking, what she was saying was really down-heartening. She basically told us to give up with our degrees - it wasn't going to be enough and that we needed EXPERIENCE, DAMNIT!! GET EXPERIENCE! But that even WITH experience it was really difficult to get a job. Wanted to go in to the police? 5 year waiting list. Probation service? Demonstrate several occasions when you've helped change a community AND really competitive. I also felt like a tit at the start though, as loads of people knew what they wanted to do with their degree and/or had experience. I have neither experience or a clue.

We all literally RAN from the room at the end, both to get out and to avoid a certain someone. It was nice walking back though - we were all so tired we couldn't be arsed to go in to town, so Lisa, Alex, Amy, Sallie and I wandered back as we all live in the same direction, which was so much fun ^_^ Everyone else just got back in bringing a TOASTER! which is FANTASTIC NEWS! Hayley and Laura were telling me how they have thurs off, weds off this week, whereas I'm in EVERY DAY this week. I can't wait until lessons start, obviously A) because I really want to learn things now, and B) because I get a 4 day weekend XD EPIC WIN FTW!!! Yeah, I'm only in tuesdays and thursdays.... 12-8 tues and 10-6 thurs ^_^

Our House, In The Middle Of Our Street

You know when you have a night out and it is the awesomes? Nice, innit? Even better? Going out the night after and having an EVEN BETTER night out. Street parties are the way to go, to be sure to be sure!

Lissi and I chose to go down with the gathering outside our halls that was leaving at 7 so as to get stuck in right from the start. We eventually wandered down at about half past. 7?!? don't think so. They had shut off an entire street in Derby, well, the main street of clubs etc for the whole night, so it was hilarious to watch some poor bloke who was not a student get turned away, even though he only wanted to walk down the road.

We spent ages wandering up and down the road, checking out the different clubs and bars etc. We went to one, I forget the name, and bumped in to the second year students who had something to do with our halls (I also forget what that would be) but after a while we attempted to exit the small alleyway we were in with our drinks but got turned back. Twas vastly amusing watching the 3 Hally people go down, also get turned back and turn around in a perfect display of sincronisation. Have you noticed? My spelling has got even worse...

Got chatting to a group of people from Sir Peter Hilton Court and went in to the strip club. You know, for a laugh. We were stood having a chat when I noticed a girl wearing nothing but a bra, a thong and funny 'trouser' things made of net and commenting about her being slaggy/try hard or something similar. I didn't make the connection that she might have worked there until one of the guys from our now little group took her in to a back room. So cue jaws hitting the floor and rapid exit of the club in question. More chatting out on the street and got to know a few more people, most of which were older. Had a few 'Catch a Goat, you've pulled' situations (¬¬) One guy, as nice as he was, seemed to take a liking to me (despite calling me a racist rapist as soon as I met him. Don't ask. Simply because I don't know.) So much so that James asked Lissi if they should set us up. Thankfully, she said no.

Sitting in Vines we were joined by Hayley, Abby and Laura, so we trotted around a few more of the cubs, then headed to the afterparty at the Nono8 club. Which, it has to be said, is kinda naff. Like a sideways Mosh, although no where near as awesome. You can learn a lot about people when they're drunk (despite the fact that I really wasn't) : ex-racing greyhounds come in 3s, cats can beat up a dog, prostitution is a sensible career, Being forceful isn't the same as being sexual and finally, that the tone of the conversation can be lowered by a simple hand gesture. Also learned that Salamanders should NOT be open on a night when the street is filled with very drunk students. Hayley and I were horrified. Lissi was telling me about a girl from her course that woke up with a tragus piercing, butter in her bed and a load of people sleeping on her floor. Yes, it's a sign of a good night, but must also be incredibly odd.

Got in at about 12 again, but didn't sleep until 2 as was up talking to Adam. OMG THAT I WAS!!! Kweehhhhhhh! To the extreme!! Yeah, have some awesome stuffs occuring there, so tis all good in the hood. Didn't sleep as was thinking about it, which was stupid. Despite the fact that early the next morning we all had to be up to enrol.

Finally met people on my course! There are so many! But everyone is really nice - we had so much fun in the welcome talks, despite the fact that we were being fed about 385748574398765 lbs of info at once. In the mock court room (which is the definition of 'awesome') we were being given a talk by a bloke who was obviously of some importance about safety etc. Watched a video about fire safety, which was bloody hilarious, but I have to say that the highlight of my day was when someone asked what they should do if they had health problems. Amy just muttered 'die' and I literally did - laughing, that is!

Lisa and I wandered in to town afterwards to time it and raided Primark for shoessss and also in search of things for out costumes for the 118 event on wednesday night. Why does no shop on planet Earth sell red shorts?? And had a Chinese in the food court, before we headed back to our separate halls (bummerrrr) to attend welcome meetings. We were all sent to sleep by it, apart from the fire safety bit again, as that was once again hilarious, and then we popped off to sainsburys. I bought vegetables. I'M SO HAPPY! Everyone ended up using them though, which was fine of course, but only because I'd made the fridge colder the night before, so my milk froze, along with Laura's cucumber and Lissi's lettuce. The cheese was fine though, so I lived to see another day haha ^_^

lissi came bursting in to my room saying "let's write to the noisy people!" I'm game for that, so we slipped a note saying 'well, hello there friend' under the door and went back in to our rooms. A little while later, she knocked saying "Omg Leah! someone's reading it!" so I went out in to the hall, but there was no one there... until a shadow moved near the note and I screamed and jumped in to my room. I must say that Lissi's impression when she showed Hayley over foods was very accurate. While we were eating, Lissi and I knocked on the fire door separating us from the noisy flat, and said hello. When a rapid foreign language was the reply, Lissi cried 'Omg they're FORIEGN!' and we both ran down the corridoor. Although they seemed lovely and invited us round to 'tee' the next day, which was nice of them.

Lissi and I went out for all of an hour, then came back as NO ONE was out, after searching all the clubs in Derby and getting sore feets also :( so we came back and watched The Inbetweeners in Laura's room with her, Abby and Hayley. We got bored at the end of Irobot so had a little chat in the kitchen for I became antisocial and stayed up chatting to Adam for most of the night/morning. ^_________________^

Your Parents Must Be Proud :')

Chatting to people about last night is fun.
I just found out that one girl got so drunk she had a major spazz attack, started throwing chairs and things around and threatening staff members, so she was arrested and spent the night in a cell.

I ran from the room to tell Lissi, who's comment of 'Aw, her parents must be proud!' Made me lol. Turns out the girl has a problem with drink, but stilllll maaaaaaaaaajor drama!

Lissi also alerted me to a really strong burning smell coming from the kitchen O_O

Can I Get A Rewind?

OMG - Last night was the awesomes! We got a Swift Taxi (which has to be said, was ever so swift) up to the uni campus and spent ages standing in the rain swapping numbers incase we got separated instead of doing it in the taxi. Silly. We then panicked that we wouldn't be allowed in as none of us were wearing our Freshers' wristbands, but all it took was a flash of ID or our flat key.

We spent about literally half an hour queuing for the bar due to the huge mass of people stood there. Lissi ordered a shot of Apple Sourz and then a WKD and it came to £3. BARKEEP! I'll have what she's having! Drinks were so cheap! I pumped myself full of Jagerbombs (which were twice the size of any bomb I've been given before) and got handed a triple vodka and coke that Lissi had got handed, which was rather vile. I remained in control though - one girl dancing near was so [pissed that I was holding her up with my back. I didn't want to get that pissed, as I wanted to remember the night, but I did get a slightly numb face, so I wasn't sober. And my headache this morning also confirmed that.

The DJ picked 4 men and 4 women to go up onstage and play a game, and I was chosen ¬¬. We had to grab certain items from the crowd and the last person to get one was out. I went out first. Why did I not have a pound coin in my purse? One girl and 2 guys were left eventually, and they had to get a bra. As I'm a bit swift at bra removal and was stood right near the front I thrust my bra at the girl, who eventually won and bought me a drink to thank me. The DJ got very excited at the size of the bra, and I did have several guys staring at me for the rest of the night. ¬_¬ Including, and I can't physically believe this, ONE OF MY EXES! HE is IN Derby Uni too! Noooooooooooo!!!! The worst part of the game? The last item they had to get was a pair of boxers and a pair of knickers. This guy got up onstage and took everything off for us. Everything, including his very skiddy boxers. Yum. Someone won't be getting laid, like EVER this year methinks!

We left at about 12 as we were all rather tired and had things to do in the morning we booked another Swift Taxi. That arrived swiftly and that we then watched other people getting in and buggering off. We didn't realise it was our taxi until about 20 minutes later and we had all gone numb from the cold. Abby and I were on the brink (spelt?) of becoming a lynch mob. By ourselves, of course ^_^ And Lissi couldnt unlock her door, which was both slightly amusing and also worrying - it took FOREVER to get it open!

Up at 9 and ready for Jadey to grope my boob. And then pierce it. It took me forever to find the piercing place, and I arrived really early, so then I went round Westfields for a bit. I thought 'Ooooh, I wonder if Prince As-IF Ali is in here. Oh no, wait, he can't be' seeing as he was banned from the shopping centre. Naturally when the time eventually came around for my piercing I kept making Jadey laugh, so we had to be uber careful. I mean, the girl was about to put a needle through my nipple! I relaxed and braced myself... JESUS CHRIST! I'D FORGOTTEN JUST HOW PAINFUL!! ARGH! I actually did the manly seal scream from the video I posted on facebook and has been circulating. It's a good thing it was away from the main town - so people don't hear you screaming!

Buggered off for 20 minutes until Jade could meet me and sat on a bench. Some old woman came and sat on my knee. O_O Even worse? Some guy was walking towards me, but it was like he didn't see me or the bench and just kept on walking. He face-planted me, specifically aiming for my newly pierced nipple. I reacted as if he'd just stabbed me. "Are you alright, love?" "DO I FUCKING LOOK ALRIGHT??!? GET OFF ME!" I was in pain - the largest amount I've been in for a while.

We then had a mooch around le shops and I purchased a doorstop (AN OWL) so as to not be antisocial (my door is currently shut ¬¬) an OWL keyring so as to not lose my really inconspicuous door key and a bag for nights out. Last nights adventures with taking my entire purse with me and keeping my key in my bra were anything but fun. I mean it was a fun night, but not very practical. Am now listening to our new flatmate move in, so when she's settled we shall all go bug her - at the moment we're keeping ourselves to ourselves. By that I mean that Hayley, Lissi and Laura are out.

I'm a Student, And On A Booze Bottle I Party

I had to think very carefully about the title. I was debating on putting 'On a booze bottle I ride' but then that sounds absolutely hideous, like that thing from Big Brother.It did that. Dunno which one - they all look the same to me.

But yeah. I'm writing this from my room at UNI! Yeah baby! This morning was awful - when I said I was doing last mintue packing last night, I infact sat on Frontierville and then went out. I got in at about midnight and had a bit of a cry and a cuddle with mum. What could have made it worse? Tim making me watch 'United 93' about one of the planes hijacked on September 11th. It was hideous.

I intended on getting up at half 6 to get everything ready to leave at 9. After snoozing my alarm countless times, I was up at 8. Um.... epic with your fail, Leah? But still managed to get it all done somehow, after all it was just clothes. 5 boxes of clothes... neatly folded in nice rolled up bundles. Mum and G argued for ages about who was driving the van - seeing as G had had 1 hour sleep and mum can't drive it. Mum won, so that made for very entertaining car journey, apart from the terrifying times she had to go over a roundabout. *shudder...*

After registering with the doctor I got my key, which was the awesomes, and mum and G found out I was on the top floor and G would NOT SHUT UP COMPLAINING about taking my boxes up there. I was like, um, I'm taking some too. Was not impressed when he dropped my box filled with my breakables, marked FRAGILE in huge letters. He's lucky nothing broke, or I would have killed him. After mum made my bed and put all my clothes away (she insisted, obviously. I'm not lazy... ¬¬) they finally left. It was awful. Mum cried, I cried, Chris was a wanker... it was to be expected. She'd written me a card and forbade (is that a word) me from opening it until she'd left. I can see why - It made me cry harder. I never knew she could be so mushy!

The most nervey bit would have to be the bit when we were all in the flat, but hadn't spoken. I was having a conversation with the girl in the room next to me, both saying 'oh, I'll come out in a minute and say hi' but we didn't for aaaaaaaages. Needn't have worried - everyone is so lovely! I'm in an all-female flat, and 4 of us are her but with another girl arriving tomorrow. They are all so lovely! We're currently getting ready to go to the welcome party - half 7 - 4. None of us want to go that long, so we're going at about half 8 til about 1. Hardcore. Haha. Gotta be up early tomorrow though - my boob groping appointment with Jadey has been moved to 11 tomorrow. What have I let myself in for?

I Close My Eyes.. And See A Sperm (Ahahahhhhh!)

No blog yesterday, purely cause I wasn't at home and it would have been antisocial to ignore the bitching and take time to write things down, so sorry to dissappoint you (Who the hell am I talking to?) But yeah, as you read, I wasn't at home yesterday. That's an utter lie - I woke up/started moving at about 2, which was bliss. Naturally facebook was my first port of call...

Did more packing and moved some boxes in to my new room. When mum came home and walked in to my room, the first thing she did was burst in to tears because 'my mark on the room had gone' by that she means all the stuff I had on every wall and available surface was gone. It's sad looking at my empty room now - I say empty, I still have my essentials in here. Tv and DVD player obviously, laptop, bed and a massive box of DVDs... I don't want to have a new room, but ah well, no point leaving it empty.

Went to NANDOS of course, which was naturally a hilarious affair. Ever discussed fave sex positions over dinner with your parents? I have. That really is just the kind of family I have. Ohhh I don't want to leave home now haha. As we were leaving the restaurant mum grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go, which made me wet around the eyes. Her leaving pressies for me made me cry too - although one of them with laughter. A penis hot water bottle cover? Why not ^_^

After the meal I instantly ran inside to grab shizzle to stay over at Claxton's. G was milling around outside (in the dark) and I knew he would jump out and scare me shitless, so I was in the process of making mum walk me to my car, as I knew he wouldn't scare her as she would actually wet herself. No joke. She's no good with things making her jump. As we were attempting to sort her shoes out (don't ask) something crashed in to the front door and alerted me to the hand that was now grabbing my leg. G is a complete tosser sometimes. Speaking of complete tossers - Christian now has to walk witout crutches, but he stil has a limp. Watching him attempt a chavvy swagger is one of the funniest things ever.

Everyone was rather sedate at Claxton's, watching some hideous programme about people with these SHIT SCARY DOLLS pretending they were their kids. It was creepy, weird, terrifying and expensive for them. If you can't have kids, why not fucking adopt a real child!?!?! Although I could see why one woman wouldn't be allowed to adopt - after 2 days of 'bonding' with her 'daughter' she noticed that it had a crack on its head where it had been dropped. What a wonderful mother you actually are. I laughed so hard at that! After that depressed me for a bit, we watched mock the Week, and even though it was Russel Howard-less it was still bloody hilarious. 'Lines you wouldn't hear in a Kids' Film' "ET, I'm pregnant" and one of my faves: "Garfield? What are you doing in that bin?"

Family Guy followed that, and Claxton and Joes' actions on the other sofa caused me and Sexy to cry "WINE! GIVE ME WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and myself to stare blankly at the tv for 5 minutes. It was only midnight, but we were all shattered, although we stayed up bitching, as usual, for hours. Being woken by Joe and Georgia leaving for school at half 7 was anything but fun. I literally went 'Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh seeyouatchristmas!' rolled over, and went back to sleep.

I was conscious, but not altogether awake when Kay and David came crashing in to the room 2 hours later. Kay tripped on my leg and fell on me. I was certainly awake after that! More bitching, then Shrek. You wouldn't think we were all 18/19 from the amount of the film we knew word for word (Answer - all of the bugger!) Claxton cooked a fry up, which was nom, then we watched Bride Wars, more tv (¬¬) and then came the hard part - saying goodbye.

Altogether I was sad, though for once I didn't show it (I.e. I wasn't sobbing, though Claxton was bless her) It's not forever - I'll see them all soon. Am attempting last minute packing, I.e. my clothes, but because I have so many it will take forever. And I have nothing to put them in. Cleaning out my bathroom box was also hideous, as an old shampoo bottle had exploded in the basket and gone hardish. I say hardish because I got it all over my hands and had a major spazz attack.

It's my last day in Lincolnshire today, so am going to have a bond with my mummy, before a final drink with my Jadeles later on tonight. I'm not that sad yet - it still hasn't hit me, I think. I dread to think what Tim is going to do to my room while I'm gone. It'll be odd coming home, for one, but I wouldn't change this for the world. I am happy and proud of myself for getting in to uni, for one, as there were so many in the country that didn't. And in to my first choice, which was a bonus. But all in all, because I'm not a fan of Lincolnshire as a county, I'm just glad to be going back to somewhere where I feel more comfortable. Home is where your Mum is though (Not YOURS, mine... ah, you must know what I mean!) and I really will miss this. It isn't forever, but these changes will take some getting used to!

So, here's Leah, signing off from Lincolnshire for the last time! God, this is odd! Goodbye all! I will see you soon - you'd have a job getting rid of me completely anyway ^____________^

LovessssssKthanxbye!

Welcome to my life, if you haven't already been a part of it already. My life specialises in shite timing, although don't get me wrong, even if the timing was bad, what happened was the awesomes ^_^ That it was...

I actually got some packing done today, which was a major achievement. Well, I say I got some done, I did half an hour of taking things off of my walls then went to grab some money from Claxton then went on Frontierville for the rest of the morning, cause I'm blates lazy. Then Jadeles rang to share some fantastic news that most likely caused me to burst her ear drum when I screamed. Mr Scrummy cook likes me too. Which is kinda crap timing, but I'm all for giving things a shot. A lot.

Nipped in to town for the last time (sadness. A bit) to buy Sexy's birthday pressie. From Claxton. I have got her bugger all at this moment in time. Also got mug shot taken for student ID etc, but had the bloody photo booth basically screaming "YOU CAN'T PUT THAT IN A PASSPORT!!!!" at me the entire time. I'm not TRYING to - despite the fact that both my drivers lisence and passport both sport the most hideous picture ever taken of a human in the history of the world. Apart from the Elephant Man. Oooft, that was harsh. I am rather nasty to famous figures - Stephen Hawking has a slanty head and Ghandi is a twat.

Finally purchased a new nose stud to save me from wearing my clear bar the entire time. Discussing thickness with the bloke behind the counter made him so nervous he dropped an entire tray of studs on the floor. O_O Also had to buy a new tongue bar, as the current one I am sporting is waaaay too long and difficult to hide. After spending donkeys discussing the best choice and eventually purchasing it, I put it in my tongue to find that it is exactly the same size as my previous bar. Well, that's money well spent. FML.

Went food shopping with mum and scared her with the lack of biscuits and things that I actually consume that she expected me to buy. Lest she forget that my brother attack the cupboards and eat all new items in it before I'm even aware that they're there. Annoyed the fuck out of her by constantly quoting Borat the entire way round. Well, one quote - "What is this?" "Cheese." "And this?" "Cheese also" and so on. She loved it at first, but I think it got too much when I was putting bags in the car and screaming "IT'S CHEESE!!" for bugger all reason. Not that I had reason to in the first place tbh :/

Then on to work, for my final shift. Meh. Got in and Jadeles had a shit-eating grin on her face. When I asked her what it was about, she replied 'Oh you'll find out in about 20 mins' which both scared and intrigued me. Turns out it was to do with Adam, so my head all but fell off. As he was leaving he wanted to give me a card he'd got me, but took forever in doing so as he was so nervous he had to smoke 2 fags before he'd manned up enough. Even then it took both Patience and Jadeles to give him that extra push. That is just the definition of adorable, in my eyes. I then, true to form, made a COMPLTETE ARSE of myself by physically losing the ability to speak and just stuttered at him for about 5 minutes and had a lovely look at the floor while doing it. He told me it was sweet, later on, but I actually felt like I'd attempted to eat my own face before finding it's impossible and looked a total arse after all my bragging. Despite what many people think, I find it quite difficult to talk to someone I REALLY like while telling them so - I become a dribbling arse (God, that sounds so attractive on so many levels.) And lose any ounce of confidence I may have previously obtained somehow. It just sort of goes "HA! You're on your own now, twat!" and buggers off to down vodka shots.

I really shouldn't have watched Moulin Rouge before work, as ALL I could hear during my entire shift was Kylie dressed as the Green Fairy screeching about the hills being alive with the sound of music, which is blatantly a load of old bollocks anyway, but nevermind. Good shift, although I think I aged about 90 years judging by the huge amount of back pain I was put through. And William walked 2 miles in the rain and dark to give me a card and to wish me luck, which is nice of him despite the fact that he hates me and I find him uberly annoying. I had to laugh when I opened it though, as what he'd written was so true to him I could actually hear him saying it while I read it. Netty and Joycey also found it hilarious when I ran to show them. Sarah topped off the night when trying to get a big bad out of the bin and I asked if she needed help. "No I'm good. It's not so tight, it's just really long!" Day = made so many times over today =3

So that's it- the end of 2 years at KFC. Gonna miss it I must say. The people anyways, not the place itself or the punters. A bit sad - I've had some really good times there and met some amazing people. Last time at that store... well, until Christmas, that is.

Leah Likes It On The Bedroom Floor ;)

It's surprising I'm actually still able to write this tonight, seeing as I actually melted today. More on that story later. Corrrrr...

Anyway, today was the day a group of us had to go to the Wisbech store to cover their workers as they were spending the day at Alton Towers as a reward for being fab at their jobs. What do we get? Hmmm... I dunno... Oh I do - BUGGER ALL! AND we have to cover their shifts at their store. Which is so much nicer and cleaner and smarter than ours, of course.

I got there slightly early, despite going the long way as I had nothing better to do. As soon as I got there I was sent to Maccy Ds to stock up on beef burgers and ice cream sundaes, as the store was dead. As I was walking back towards the store, I saw something sticking out from under the front of my car, thinking 'Uh oh, I hope that isn't something important' and when I got closer I saw it was a birds wing. Awwww. I gently tugged on it to try and pull it out, preparing myself for a hideous bloody, mangled stump. I pulled the wing out, with the rest of the bird still attatched to it. O___________O C-Hole perked me up by giving me a pressie from Netty and Tanny and made me open it - it was full of v. sexual and amusing items, and I absolutely loved it! So much so that I had a little cry.... :(

As nice as the store was, it was so so boring as bugger all customers came in. We were so quiet, and bored out of our brains, so we spent the time arsing around and drawing pictures on bucket lids. I technically didn't get a break on the shift I was working, but as soon as Adam got sent on his, Jade turned to me and said 'Leah, grab 15 minutes.' I actually love her!

Had a lovely chat before he went for some nicotine, in which he told me that he would miss me while I was gone, and that I really made it worth going in to work, which I didn't expect ^_^ but then he managed to lock himself out of the back door. After I let him back in I eventually plucked up the courage to compliment him (While eating my t-shirt, of course) and finally muttered "Ihavetotellyouthat....youhavereallyamazingeyes!" He just turned around, looked me dead in the eyes (causing me to melt. OMG HIS EYES! Seriously! They are just simply amazing!) And said "Ha! You beat me to it!" "What do you mean?" "I was just thinking that about yours out there, and was about to tell you!" I think I died. It then got really serious in the staff room - we got closer together... I was on edge... arms began to move and change position (if that makes sense)....aaaaaaaaaaand then Daniel came slamming in to the room and caused us to jump apart and both promptly leave the staff room... Moment = ruined, I think you'll agree. :( Bugger. Although the rest of the day was really fun.

Honest to God, when he brushed against me I nearly fell over. Peterborough Staff were coming in to do the night shift, and they all blanked me as they arrived. Fuckers. Then as I was leaving I said goodbye and told them to have fun. Ignored again. Fuckers. The heavens opened so C-Hole and I had to sprint to the car. Well, I say sprint, but as everyone would know, I did anything but run. I had to be back in the Lynn store by 4 to do another shift (¬¬) but we got stuck behind every possible thing that could slow us down. Made a tit of myself too - when exiting a roundabout that I use EVERY time I go to Lynn and have done so for 5 years or so, I commented 'OMG it has TREES ON IT?!?!?' I had never noticed before. Do I even have eyes? Amazing or not!

Then had to work at my usual store for hours, along with Adam (kwehhh) and it went so quickly due to a huge queue constantly badgering me. As per always. Last shift with Alex, Little Emma and Charlie, which was very sad. Alex had got me a card, which was lovely ^_^ Enjoying Fawlty Towers now, FTW.

Chatting to some friendies going to Uni with me and arranging FReshers' get togethers - we have also established that none of us really know what's going on vis a vis uni business so we're all just gonna get wasted and hope for the best. Story of my life. :/

Decisions.

Since we couldn't go tonight, mum rearranged the meal for Thursday. Here is the conversation. It's a bit lol. Well, mum was laughing. A lot.

Mum: Soooo... where did you want to go on....?
Leah: Thursday?
Mum: Yeah, then. Whatever. We could go to Nandos, or Prezzos...
Leah: I WANT TO GO TO NANDOS!
Mum: You want Nandos?
Leah: um, let me think. YES!
Chris: I don't want to go to Nandos that much...
Timmy: It's Leah's thing so I think she should get to de-
Leah: She has, and she's picked NANDOS!!
Chris: Or we could g-
Leah: Don't care! My thing, I've picked Nandos, Bye bye!
Chris: But I think I should get to sa-
Leah: NO! NANDOS!
Mum: .... We're going to Nandos...
Chris: But I don't wa-
Leah, Mum and Timmy: WE'RE GOING TO NANDOS!!!!

Greetings From Butchland!

That is where I reside. Blates. Or not - just a funny part of another group conversation with the complete gays. This is to become a regular thing once we all go to uni (4 days to go. OMFG!) Every now and again, although not this sunday, as I am going to a party. Woo party! My Freshers' wristband FINALLY arrived today, so I can actually got to all the events I booked places for without fear of being turned away. Also found out that the wristband cannot be removed until cut by scissors, so I'll be wearing it for some time.

Up bright and early, to the sounds of my mother screaming at Christian as he is a complete wanker. Is she his slave? No. Is he a complete twat? Yes. She came running in to the kitchen to have a rant as I was calmly buttering my toast. I looked like a rabbit caught in headlights. I choked on said toast when she started talking about Chris in the shower. Ughhhh... NOT an imagine I wanted in my head. Work again, of course... Ugh. Very nearly fell asleep on the way - had VERY squinty eyes the entire way there. I looked like I changed race. My heart broke a bit on the way to work. Every morning there is an eldery man walking his GORGEOUS, very very old dog along the road, and I usually stop to say hello. I always used to say to mum that I was dreading the day that I would see him walking alone, as it was probably one of his oldest friends. I didn't see him for a few weeks, but he was back today. Alone. :(

It was my last shift with Leanne, and with Tanny, who had only just home from her holiday, so it was very sad. :( Although naturally it was hilarious and the conversations sexual (in more than one sense haha :P ) Put my foot in it with Adam a bit though, as Tanny made him show us his leg (don't ask - I don't remember anyway) and then she whispered "Ooooh Leah, his socks have got 'sexy beast' written on them" "Corrrr, that's about right!" came the reply. Maria heard and told him. I screeched about getting in to a hole, to which he asked who was coming with me. My normal reaction would have been something like 'oooer, is that an offer?' but I just went red and ran off. Fail.

Speaking of fail, I was leaning over the drive thru counter between the tills and dusting the window. I got stuck between the bloody things. These sodding boobs!! Speaking of boobs, Tanny bought me a marshmallow cock dressed as a lifeguard from her holiday. Both she and her boyfriend saw them and said in unison "We MUST get one for Leah!" I am infamous for sexual things. Because I'm...cool?

Work was its usual hassle, although my shift ended at 4, so that was a win. Got a text from Law and was very excited about going to the cinema, until I remembered I was going out with my family for a meal, but then I didn't even get to do that as I collapsed when I got home. Badly. I was carried to my bed where I woke 2 hours later. I really think I am burning the candle at both ends. But yeah, when I finally woke up mum showed me some more goodies for uni, which instantly got thrown in to a box. After I popped all the bubblewrap, of course.

Had a bonding sesh with mum on facebook. She enjoys using my page in order to nose at old friends of hers (and exes lol) She is a bit of a tit though - there was a picture of one with his dad, taken recently. "Oooooh! His dad must still be alive then!" Um, yes? And also "Ohhhh it's his sister! she hated me! Ha! She looks like she's been inflated!!" and then spent the evening messing around with the dogs - the tie on my owl pj bottoms came off, so I tied it round Chelsea's head to make her look gorgeous. Pippin attacked me and we made Sid look like a gypsy.

As we went to the caravan, mum remarked that !That Brian at your work is lovely! He has such a friendly face! And you had such banter the other day! Is he new?" Brian? Who the hell is Brian??!? I don't know a Brian! "Who's Brian, mum?" "That bloke that served us the other day! His nametag said 'Brian' on it!" Turns out it was Alex O_O When I explained, she just went "......Oh.... I thought I'd never heard you mention a Brian before..." I love my mum.

Inbetweeners time. OMFG YESSSS!!! Had a major panic attack after I came to - G had pulled the wires out of the Sky dish, meaning no Inbetweeners O_O He fixed it, but we continued to act as if it was broken so as to make Chris go to bed as none of us could put up with sitting with him for half an hour. I hate him.

Epic Pwnage

No, that isn't a typo.

Siiiiigh, I really am a glutton for punishment, aren't I? Not content with starting at 9 in the morning, knowing full well I wouldn't be going to sleep until about 3 that same morning, thanks to long msn/facebook conversations and needing to blog. I know I don't NEED to blog, but I enjoy doing it. Aaaaaaaaand more people are reading it now, I have found, which just spurs me on to write some more ^_^ I like people reading this. Where was I?!? O_O Oh yeah - but I agreed to start earlier, didn't I? Twat.

Up at 7, which was soooo painful. I slept in a little, knowing that no one else would be up that early in my house on a sunday. Oh wait, Mum was in the shower. That's ok, I'll have breakfast... Ah, that was nice. Now, shower and teethbrush time... Jesus! G as well?!? Ok then, I shall go and find a uniform for today... Right, that's done - shower time! FFS Tim aswell?!?! FUCK! Needless to say, when I eventually got in there I very nearly ripped all my hair out I was attempting to wash it so fast. Today HAD to be the day they decided to move the boat. Great.

Got in to work to be confronted with a very tired Adam and an equally tired Jadles, so we bimbled around with no real purpose until 9. Until I started potting beans, which is obviously te best task in the world. Not. I picked up a tray that was convered in mould. I screamed, and ran to show Jadles. As I was holding it, I realised my hand was sligtly damp - a MASSIVE patch of gooey mould was situated where my hand was and was under my nails. As usual, I ran away to be sick. There really must be something wrong with me.

Anyway, we discussed who was in today. William. Lewis. D. Fab. Bullet for my gun? Anyone, please? A bullet for my gun? I was very prepared for a stab-a-thon, seeing as they are all sooooo annoyyyyyyyyyyyingggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adam did his best to save me, but it was no good. I haven't mentioned this, but his eyes are awesome! They are such a light blue they are almost silver and so striking! (And, it has to be said, they are incredibly attractive!) We took it in turns to save each other from William's 'conversation' by pretending there was an urgent need for us elsewhere. I eventually ran out of things to say, so I literally just ran over to them screaming 'ADAM! I'LL SAVE YOU!' A certain someone was so dense they didn't notice what I said. ¬¬

I was happily stood on my till, literally making a =3 face, when Lewis physically turned his head towards me and sneezed on my face. A lot. When I bellowed at him, he told me not to make a fuss. Not make a fuss?!?!? He got some of his nose juices on my face, on my lips and even in my hair! I used half of the hand sanitizer on my face, basically ripping 3 layers of skin off my face. I physically wanted to bum the woman who came through drive thru lterally 2 minutes later - she complained about his massive love bite being hideous and when I told her about the sneeze, she hit the roof! I delighted in telling Jadles - He had to wear 2 plasters on his neck for the rest of his shift. Hahahahahahahaha!

Some absolute tosser came through drive thru and kicked off for no good reason, calling me thick and saying that all I'm good for is fastfood work - I turned round and told him I was a second year Cambridge student. That shut him up. It was pwnage, of the epic variety. I had to think fast and choose a well known uni that is known for smart-people breeding. I wouldn't fit in there. Plus the fact I woudn't have had a hope in hell of getting in in the first place in order to fail at fitting in with the smart people.

I got to leave at half 4 in order to take one of the Wisbech staff members back to their store so he could start his night shift. He was one of the nicest guys I've ever met, and we had loads in common, including our sexual preferences. Yup - he was also one of the gayest guys I've ever met. ¬¬

I was first home, so after changing in to pjs, I was mobbed by the dogs. Ever had one of your pets repeatedly pull your pants down? Pain in the (now exposed) ass. I nabbed use of the living room to watch that 102 Minutes That Changed America programme,about 9/11, made up of continuous footage from the day. I fell asleep. O_O I'm going to hell. When I woke up I couldn't rewind it to where I was before I fell asleep as for half an hour or so it was the same shot of one of the burning towers with some bloke going "OMG TERRORISTS!!!" over and over again. Even though I was 9 when the event took place, and remember watching the footage at the time, I never really took onboard just how awful it was. Watching the footage at the age I am now was awful - I was discussing with mum what I would do in that situation. I couldn't even comprehend what to do.

Packed more of my stuff after that, trying to distract from the hideous image of a man falling to his death, and also perk myself up after Chelsea ate all my icecrea. Bitch. But yes - now up to 5 boxes for uni, and 7 for home. ¬¬ Long way to go - I only have empty draws and shelves on one side of the room. It looks no different. How much SHIT do I have in my damn room? Found some rat food under the tv. WTF? I haven't had rats for 8 months! I think I need to boover my room some more...