Would You Like Some Cock Porn?

To answer bluntly: Yes. Right. Moving on now.

I find myself very much looking forward to stampeding through endless train stations tomorrow, carrying an A3 acrylic portrait of Simba from The Lion King (that I painted myself of course. I'm gonna have to put a picture of it on here at some point. The only thing I've ever painted that's better than this was my demon March Hare. Which I'm also going to put a picture of on here. Anyways) and yet again grappling with timetables and possibly homeless men. Why is this? It is, of course, because I get to spend the weekend with my Mr :). I have found myself getting more and more open (ooer) and confident. This is because Adam is by far the sexiest man I've ever slept with - I know this because a) it is obvious and b) as Mazi loves to constantly remind me, my line up of ex-boyfriends, stemming from clumsy 15 year old fumbles to what a 16 year old would call 'the real thing', wouldn't look at all out of place in the cast list of another Wrong Turn or Hills Have Eyes movie.

That is probably something I should find depressing, and yes, the thoughts of some of them make me want to shove a double-barreled shotgun in to my mouth and pull the trigger, and as cheesy and crap as the saying is: 'You've gotta kiss a few frogs to find your prince.' Of course, in my case it was kissing a few hogs, snakes, hippos and rats. Yummeh. But yeah - I just hope the bruising on my cheek goes down before I get home. A bruised cheek? Well, a drunken, rejected man has a wide swing. Poor bloke chose the wrong victim - there's a likelihood he also won't be able to have children anymore. The entertaining exchange went as follows:

*Leah is dancing with Abi, Laura and Hayley in a club to celebrate Laura's birthday. Leah downed an entire bottle of jager and schnapps just before exiting the flat and having not eaten all day, she was a little drunk*
*A man, tall, weedy with glasses and a fat face comes over, and begins to attempt to grind dance with Leah*
*Leah moves her arse out of the way of Anus's (the man) 'crotch'*
*Man puts 'crotch' back*
*Leah moves again*
*repeat several times*
*Leah eventually gets pissed off and turns to face Anus*
Leah: Dude! Can you NOT take a hint!? Get the fuck away from me!
Anus: Mmmmm! You're wearing a green bra! Nice!
Leah: Face is up here, where my angry words are currently exiting. Stop staring at what you can't have
Anus: And why the hell can I not have it? Look, let me get you a drink and we can discuss this further
Leah: Or not. For one, you are hideous, 2, I have a long-term boyfriend and 3, you are hideous
Anus: How the hell can a slut like you have a boyfriend? Stop bullshitting and get your arse over here.
Leah: NO! Fuck off! I don't answer to anyone! Get the hell away from me - I've said no, so go dribble on someone else's shoulder!
*Anus smacks Leah round the face*
Leah: ahaha. Nice. By the way - you picked the wrong person to punch tonight
*Leah brings her knee up in to the Anus's 'crotch' with all the force she has*
*Anus doubles over, and the bouncers swiftly come over and eject him from the club*
The End.

The combined stress of house hunting, the random (technically) attack, money issues, job hunting and back problems saw me take another trip to the doctor - the stress having caused a hideous amount of what look like hives to break out all over my arms, hands, face and neck. So, having been put on yet more medication and having physically broken down in to a sobbing wreck in the middle of a lecture, I fled to Jade's. A night of laughs and a few cheeky texts with Adam and I've perked up so much.

I need to go home though. I'm ready to forget everything here, even just for a weekend. And I need sleep - I've been working out double time in the last 2 weeks and it's beginning to show. But it also means I need to keep on top of my sleep. So this is goodbye for a few days - when I come back, I no doubt will feel even better ^____________________^