Friday 14 October 2011

One Way Ticket To Neverland, Please!

I got to sleep at about, hmmmm... 3?? On what was technically Tuesday. I was then woken by a knock on my window at HALF PAST 8 by John Lewis delivery men delivering a mattress for Amy (who was in Liverpool with her sister overnight) so I had to get out of bed. I'm sure the guys LOVED my barely there Mini Mouse PJ shorts, bed head, Amy's work shoes, sexy Red Riding Hood coat and general arse-headedness/frowny face for being woken up so early. Also, thanks to our pig-headed land lord, we now have a mattress on our landing. Goddamn idiot. A mattress that I had to move myself while the 2 burly delivery guys PAID to throw mattresses and the like around all day watched as they 'weren't insured to pick up such weights'. You must be joking.

(I must admit, the mattress is an eyesore and a total pain in the arse and in the way and just generally stupid, but it comes in handy. Ish. I was waiting for the bathroom at about 7 Wednesday morning, and was still half asleep, so I was leaning my head against the top of it and resting my eyes for a bit. When Tom came out he found me sprawled on the floor, fast asleep, and hugging my towel.) But anyway, we got fishies!! (Is that even a word???) Well, fish. I called mine Reno, and he is lovely. He swims and swims and... well, that's about it. Naturally, as soon as Dakin walked through the door later that night he ran over to the food tub and ran away with it so as to prevent 'Mean Old Leah eating it all up'. ¬_¬

I don't think I'm going to grow up. Come (tee hee) Wednesday night I found myself sat with Amy in the cinema, looking somewhat like a lesbian couple, to watch a film starting at 10. What film? The Lion King. In 3D. So naturally, I had to physically rip my tongue out in order to stop myself from very loudly singing along to all the songs/saying EVERY LINE OF THE FILM! I didn't mean to go to the cinema, I swear! There we were, doing uni work (read: I was actually doing work for once, Amy was asleep on the sofa) When I read on Facebook (come on, it's like my newspaper!) that Lisa went to see The Lion King earlier. My squeal/groan of complaint woke Amy, who immediately told me to check the cinema times. We left the house 10 minutes later. We are several kinds of Win. I added elements of 'Fail' when we were going up the escalator and I had a panic attack when it jolted and almost sent me flying backwards. Not one to confuse my priorities though, I gripped extra tightly on to my jalapeƱos instead of dropping them in order to hold on to the railing. Instead, I held on to Amy's coat with my teeth.

To update: Reno died on Thursday night. Fuck. Well, I say 'died', I mean I put him out of his misery. Basically - I killed him. He wasn't doing any of that swimming or breathing stuff that fish usually do. In fact, he was stuck in the filter, which was an awful thing to witness. Well, awful and funny. Woops. I decided to put him out of his misery, but not in my usual way i.e. leaving him out of water to die a terrifying death of slow suffocation, so I went to flush him down the loo. Normally, when you take a fish from water, it thrashes around and attempts to survive. Reno just flopped there. The only moving he did was when I waved him around in Amy's face a bit. When I flushed him, because our loo is broken. he didn't go down first time. O_______O. I'm going to Hell, aren't I?

Karma delivered its blows today though - I was in a towel when I heard someone banging on my window, so I leant over to open my curtains and have a look. It was the postman holding a package for me that couldn't fit through the letterbox. To thank him for my DVD, my towel came off my boobs for him. Lucky postman. I then had the house to myself, so as I was getting ready for work and ironing my uniform in the living room, I was totally naked (keep it in your head, guys! :P) It was at this moment that my landlord let himself in to the house. I took a tip from The Road Runner at this point.

Basically, I'm awesome at life. Yup yup yup ^____^

No comments:

Post a Comment