God damn, that it was, but more on that story later. Picture? Me kissing what I called the 'Angelina Jolie' of the gibbon communnity. Obviously attempting to encourage an 'ard on situation.
It really was lovely not to have to hear 'Four ways Farm' this morning. Ahhhh... I woke up at about 10 due to A) getting a text, and B) being as hot as, well, I usually am, obvs, but with added 'sweating like a pig' senario. Why did I wear my hoody to bed? And blates have become addicted to commas in every sentence. Um.... yeah? But yes - 10 was obviously a hideous time to wake up. I was eventually woken at about half 12 by Jadey ringing asking if I wanted to go to the zoo with them... Did I want to go to the zoo... Did IIIII want to go to the zoo?.... um let me think about tha-YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! I was very excited about going to the zoo, mainly because it is a zoo specializing in chimps and shit, so I had high expectations about seeing an 'ard on (don't ask) and getting instant internet fame after my cackle is played to the world. I would have been more than happy to complain had there been no monkey hard ons. As hideous as that may sound, but it's true. "Excuse me, but I came here expecting to see monkeys with hard ons, and you have failed to deliver. Now, you specialize in apes and that, so where are my hardons???" Infact, when Grace later recorded me for her video blog, I embarassed myself a little (woah) My comment of "It's the smallest number of hard ons I've ever seen in one day" is now going to be played on youtube by thousands. Well, if it makes the final cut, that is.
I love zoos, even if we were the oldest people there, and we didn't even have a young child as an excuse to go for our own enjoyment. The gibbons in the very first enclosure made me almost wee myself laughing - one threw a random cup at another than rapidly chased it around the enclosure. It reminded me of Christian/a massive chav in some way. I dunno why... Oh yeah - cause it was violent, random and completely uneccessary... just like Chris, infact ¬¬
I laughed rather a lot at the sealions being fed, aka ME being fed - watching a MASSIVE sealion scoot itself out of the water was actally hilarious! It was then the penguin feeding. As soon as the random dismembered womans voice (I have NO IDEA where she was) said "Now, we will go on to feed the penguins" the crowd started to move. Grace and I edged round to the edge of the crowd, before breaking out in to a run. Even women with pushchairs were stampeding towards the penguin enclosure, but not before I got there! Out of my way, small children. I may be several feet taller than you, but I NEED to be at the front to be able to see more clearly. Obviously. Jeez, so bloody selfish. I named one Penguin Danny De Vito as it was tiny, with a mahoosive beak and spent most of its time strutting/slipping all over the place. And the meercats and flamingoes actually made my day. Ever watch a meerkat stand on its hind legs and then fall on its arse? It;s proper funny - I'd recommend watching it. I realise it maaaay be hard to come across in everyday situations...
On to a comedy club that night with Hayley - right up my alley (ooer) so I was mega excite (again, not a typo. Ever seen Borat? Yeah, exactly.)so we managed to scrape enough money together to get a taxi there, thinking we could get money out at the student union bar. Um, no we couldn't. We had to walk all the way to the blessed shop (no David, not the holy shop. I just cba to swear or anything) Naturally I had worn my new tranny shoes, what normal people call heels, and couldn't walk in them. So there I was, at 7 in the evening, leaving an event carrying my heels. Hardcore doesn't even come close to being accurate enough. I think I scared Hayley a little with my 'ahhhhh'-ing at v smooth bits of ground. Why did a random taxt driver keep talking to us? This isn't a joke - I genuinely don't know. I think I was providing most of the comedy by just moaning about my soon-to-be lack of feet.
We had been told to expect the comedians at 8:45. Got there at about 20 to - fab! just in time... Ooooer, te 'free bbq' is being sorted. Did I say BBQ? I meant single burger. Asking for a veggie burger was obviously one of the most difficult things to comprehend for the bar staff. It was a vegetable burger, made purely of vegetables. It wasn't like I'd asked them to cook me an entire pig. We waited aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages for le comedians to come on - me loudly saying the phrase chosen for the title of this blog. Eventually, a guy stood near us got up on stage and turned out to be introducing the acts. Bollocks. Ok, that's fine. Just brush it off... God, this guy is crap... just conversing with the 'crowd' (all 15 or so of us.)...
It was only then that another guy, also stood near us, got up on stage and introduced himself as the comedian. O_O. Fail - We were now trapped in this shite 'comedy' show as if we'd have left they'd have said something, possibly picking up on the fact that we had both been slagging them off mere mintutes before. Once that stupid bloke got back on stage, Hayley managed to sneak away - he saw, and made a comment. A little while later I literally just got up and walked out. Pain in the ass - waste of a night.
Got in and put on pjs, before instantly going down to see Vetty and Alicia. I looked v sexy in me owl pjs, blates. Played more drinking games before most peoples went out - Alicia, Luke and I (and the weird one O_O) were gonna attempt to watch My Sisters Keeper. Alicia messaged Lissi telling her I was being held at ransom in return for alcohol. Lissi soon arrived (I am loved tee hee) to free me - I say to free me, but we were having a blast, and it was made even better when she got there.
We both crashed about in Lissi's room once we got in. Waking Hayley. Woops... Made Lissi start her own blog, so dear readers - check out lissi-howard.blogspot.com for some more laughs from Derby uni! As you can imagine - it is an awesome blog in the making ^_^ both Lissi and Hayley have started reading my blog and love it, which is lovely of them and also a massive ego boost. My head can actually get bigger?? O_O Spoke to Adam again tonight, attempting to get him to commit to coming to visit me at some point. He's lovely, but a little dense at times. Even if I was to write 'Me want sex with you." I don't think he would get it ¬¬ Is he even male? I sometimes question that too. All jokes aside - yes, he will visit at some point. When that will be, neither of us knows. Bugger...
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