Tuesday 9 November 2010

Literal Trolley Dash!

At this very moment I am nomming possibly the nommest thing I've ever nommed. What is it? NOM YOGHURT!! Or-gas-mic. That it is. How did I obtain such a heavenly thing at such an early hour? Aha, read on, and eventually you will find out. If I last that long, of course. My head is being held up by bugger all at the mo. I feel like a thunderbird puppet, which is both hideous and terrifying.

I didn't like sleeping in my room last night. The reason? There was so much shit on the floor (not literal shit, of course, you sick sick peoples, but all my bags and clothes and that that I still cannot be arsed to move. It goes from bed, to floor, to bed ¬¬) and I woke up with clothes tags all over my face, and the sound of the cleaner in the kitchen with who I initially thought was the halls manager. This caused me to panic as I knew the kitchen was revolting. Hayley obviously shared my panic as she sent me a text asking if I thought we should go out and sort the rubbish out. My answer? No, I am scared and want to hide.

Eventually we did go out and take the rubbish with us, which made us appear more respectable. Turns out that the male voice I heard was not Neil, but was the maintanence man, who started harking o about the so-called dirty kitchen. Um, fuck off? Look at it this way - we are univesity students, studying for a degree. You are paid to clear up our messes. Lol at your life. And we have to clean the kitchen before the cleaners can do it? How the hell does that even begin to make sense?

Lectures were their usual bile, although I downloaded this awesome app for my blackberry, in that te light that flashes when people ring me now flashes in loads of different colours and not just red. No, I didn't make Amy ring me loads. Highlight had to have been Andy telling his phone to sod off when it rang, and Alex giving me hiselectronic dictionary. I was screaming with laughter alongside Amy and Lisa as Dave came over, screaming about rumpy pumpy and coitus. I'm... cool? Someone who isn't cool? Fagface. She would NOT stop staring at me today! She has a face like a slapped arse and acts and dresses like she's just stepped out of the 1920s. Let's dot he fucking off thing, k? :) While we were discussing her (how much of a twat she is and how she looks like she's run headlong in to a wall) Amy simply stated "She's a virgin." I chocked on my oreos and laughed hysterically. No wonder.

Oh Sam, why do you think Amy and I bought sweets to your lecture? (it was actually because they had goo in them. Literally the reason.) To give us a sugar high so we could actually STAY AWAKE unlike some, who I lovingly took photos of and posted on FB. Wiiiin. Made Alex stay for the later tutorial, but we both died of boredom before we could even make it. So after an unsuccessful attempt at making salt noodles (which were VILE and actually made me wretch. Salt and soysauce vommmmmmmm) We settled down to watch Sleeping BEauty. I've said this before, and I will continue to say it - Fauna's gift of 'song' is a shite gift. Of course, when I was 16, I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally wanted a singing voice that made me sound like a goosey 60 year old woman.

Adam finally allowed me to add him as my other half on fb. XD My fave person in the whole wide world, Lewis, who had been telling Adam I'm a slag a mere 3 weeks ago liked it. Fuck off. You are a wanker and a twat. It still baffles me HOW and indeed WHY someone would want to go out with him!!! He is so hideous, I feel greasey just looking at him. ewwwwww, how charming. Eriously though - yuck.

I have a tendancy to blog at 2 in the morning. This is because by this time things have normally stopped happening. It hit one, and Liss popped up, asking if I wanted to go to Asda. Hell to the amazing YES! She was shocked that I had never been to a supermarket at 1 in the morning. Liss, you officially took my supermarket-at-1-in-the-morning virginity loool and I wasn't even drunk. I went purely thnking about gettng bugger all. It was like multibuy, multibuy, multibuy.... (including the nom yoghurts nom nom nom!!!) and I even bought a pudsey T shirt. How is that a necessary purchase?!?! It looked like a bomb had hit most of the isles, as obviously they were all setting up for the next day.

Liss proceeded to shout at the self checkout sevral times, before attempting to put the tolley back. As she was stood grappling with the trolleys already in the stand, I watched from the warmth of the car as the trolley we had used buggered off straight in to the direction of a parked carr. Watching Liss run after it was hilarious, but even better was when she ot in the carand set off, for some unknown reason she bgan to drive on the wrong side of the road. And her uturn outside westfields made me think I was going to die. Don't get me wrong - it wasn't a dangerous mov, she simply just trned toface a differet set of traffic lights, but it was because we were sat at those bloody lights for so long I could actually feel myself aging!

Jackass 3 tomorrow - I am scared, but it should be wiiiin! XD

No comments:

Post a Comment