Quite Surprised It Took This Long To Get On The Sex Offenders Register But I'm FINALLY On There!

This is going to be another one of those 'ohhh I spent days in a row getting pissed so here's the stuff I missed' blogs. Sorrys. Am currently sat here typing with great difficulty as my left arm is in a huge amount of pain. Yup, finally got the vein of my life inserted in to my arm. There's a story that goes with that - come on, it's me. It won't have been just a simple process. No.

Lying on the bed I was bombarded with the same questions he'd asked me just the day before, (Have you had sex in the last week. Answer: 'Chance would be a fine thing'¬¬) I also had my mother's words ringing in my ears "The pill is better the pill is better go on the pill!" Take your pharmacist head off, mum, you know I'd just forget to take the damn thing and you'd have a grandchild before I could say 'woops.' "Are you ready for the anaesthetic?" "...Uh... yeahhhh...." "You don't sound too sure." "I have an awful phobia of needles" "Ah ok then... Look away now then." Take this advice people: When a doctor knows of your phobia and tells you to look away, don't turn towards him and ask what he said. He maaay just be holding the biggest needle in the known universe and fainting at the sight of it doesn't really help him out. I was only out for a few seconds and woke to "Are you alright?!?" "Yeah I'm good, just get it over with!" I have never stared so intently at a wall in my life. The needle killed. Sharp scratch? BOLLOCKS was it a sharp scratch. I'd have loved it if it was the same pain as an injection, piercing or giving blood. Instead it felt like he was attempting to scrape the insides of my arm out. Pain was on par to getting nipple pierced, so you know it's bad. Sorry Kim, I know you haven't had it yet, but I'll be honest - OW just doesn't do it justice.

And as cool as it is to not be able to feel your arm when tapped, don't poke the shit out of it. This leads to the bruising being so much worse then it needs to be and the pain to be greater once said numbing wears off. Just learn from my fails, it's easier that way. I now sporting a GORGEOUS over kill bandage the size of a towel wrapped round my arm, the bruing is hideous, the wound is awful and I can actually see the implant through my skinn. Yummeh... I also learned today that I make a fab alarm clock - Lissi was napping and I went in to the kitchen. Singing 'Like A Virgin' is a great way to wake someone up with a smile. I wasn't smiling when I got to work and stupidly agreed to work the morning shift.

It was nice to be sent home early i.e. 10 so I could do some sleeping. Instead I talked to Adam of course. I had to get up at half 4, which is so hideous it isn't even funny. When my alarm went off I genuinely didn't know what the noise was (The opening to Roobarb and Custard screaming right by your head isn't exactly a gentle ease in to the waking up process). Had some stupid old arse yelling at me for wanting to take his plate away. He had a yoghurt pot on it, which he had yet to finish and picked it up to thrust it in my face/show me. So I established that he was capable of removing the pot from the surface on the plate and putting it on the table. You do not need a plate to eat a yoghurt. Grow up. After only a few hours sleep I fell asleep during Angie's guest speaker. While making notes that I now cannot read. ¬¬ See if you can tell from the pictures which are my usual note standards and which ones I was swanning during. Thank God I had Sallie on one side and Amy on the other prodding me to keep me upright at least!

Had a phone call from work asking if I could work the breakfast shift Friday. Half 6 til 11. I am quite good friends with Yvonne, so I thought I would be honest with her. "No sorry Yvonne, but I will be in no fit state to work tomorrow morning. Most likely I will still be drunk. But if you would like me to fall over, sing loudly and out of tune etc for the customers then I'll come in for you! :)" Soooo after buying most of Plonkers' stock and grabbing Amy and Alex, we headed to mine first. After I cooked Amy and myself fantastically nom cheese toasties and she mixed us some uber strong Woo woos. After chillaxing for a while in my zimmer until Mike arrived - looking through my draws, naturally, gawking at Adam and deciding whether the Hallmark menu was good value for money, we grabbed the kitchen chairs and were off to Liss's.

I Have Never set the mood, but we soon got bored and lounged around, generally being loud and awesome. Although had a few heart to hearts with Liss, Vicky and Alex which were nice ^_^ Lissi, Laura and Hayley arrived and I spent a lot of the time until they buggered off again with Lissi sat on my lap. Ring of Fire is still an awesome game and I do good smoking while I' drunk (O_______O) and I don't like eggs being thrown at me either to be quite honest. I loved singing VERY LOUDLY to Don't Look Back In Anger and All The Small Things, and I was fraped with the lovely phrase that ha become the blog title - 9 people so far have liked it. Bugger. I also got my nipple out, typically, but only because people asked to see the tongue bar (At one point Vicky was telling people she was going to put HER tongue bar in it O_O) and I really hope everyone forgets about the nipple thing. Although they all read my blog so that hope has already been dashed. No eye contact EVER now, methinks. Vetty and Alex also did some tactful cockblocking and Shelley discovered I'm talented with my mouth... after blowing up an air bed of course! Jeez! I also kicked ass on the wii until the wee hours (ahaha see what I did there?! In to the 'wee' hours.. playing th wii!... oh naff off then...) I also drank ALL the booze I had bought and was saving for our up and coming flat party. Alex helped out too I must point out Well, that's more money to spend then...

Unfortunately I had to set an alarm for the morning as had to see Sam. When said alarm went off I cried out "WHITE COLLAR CRIME!!!" I don't know why either, so don't ask. But Sam would be proud ^_^ Sooooo hungover so bimbling up with Alex caused us to crash in the corridoor outside his office for 45 mins. I love Sam. He said I was one of the stronger students XD So I'm gonna do him proud (You have no idea how many times I checked that to make sure I'd written 'do him proud' and not just 'do him' That would have been difficult to explain...) Had a kitchen blitz with Hayley and Laura, who soon buggered off to leave me alone :( :( :P so I wandered in to town with Jade again.

I always have a whale of a time with her, spending 99% of it laughing. Today was no different. Ann Summers is a fab shop and I love it as many of you will know. We were doin serious shopping in there of course, but every time one of the assistants came over we had just found something hilarious to laugh at. We looked about 5 years old. Teehee sex, that sort of idea. Ughhhh never mind (thought of the day - crotchless knickers. Is there any bloody point? No I thought not.) I'm now freezing my arse off and crying due to the pain in my arm - don't think it's been done right. I can see it through my skin, which is not only hideous to look at but feels revolting. I keep catching it too, and it's the sort of pain I get when I catch a piercing. The sort of pain that makes you wretch. Goddamn it...