That Will Take A Miracle

Is that the correct spelling, first of all? Ah well. It'll do. I don't really give one. Besides the spelling issues, there CAN be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail... it's hard to kill... No, I do not know this because The Burke sang it. I love the Prince of Egypt, remember? Good. Now, on with the show!

I take back anything about Chelsea being a twattish choice of dog to take in to my caravan with me (as I said to G, if I was ever attacked, the only dog that would literally be of NO use and more of a hindeance would be Chelsea. She'd want love from the attacker. Even Pippin, about a quarter of her size, would be of more use as she is a gobby little chav. Yeah. Nice. But credit where credit's due, Chelsea is such a dipshit that she had no idea where she was all night she didn't whine at all! My mum said she probably thought she was at the beach or something. Oh Chelsea, you can come again! Although when I first took her in she lay on the sofa looking at me as if I was slowly choosing a weapon with which to kill her, and I did wake up with a BIG FACE ABOUT AN INCH FROM MINE at 3 in the morning. No one heard me scream. This is quite worrying. I'd like to point out that she came with her name, although I call her Dipshit Dog. She responds to it. She doesn't help herself. ¬¬

Claxton and Joe popped over, and we exchanged much needed gossip and bitchings. Well, what would we do if we couldn't bitch? Not a lot, I have to tell you to be quite honest. Although Joe didn't get the sex orgy I promised if he came to visit me. Claxton did cop a glance at my nipple (the pierced one, obviously, I didn't just get my tits out) so does that count? When they eventually buggered off I settled down with my Mum to watch Beauty and the Beast. She had been looking foward to this all weekend - methinks I am deffo my mother's daughter. Even more evidence? She hasn't seen the film since I was about 5 and has a brain like swiss cheese at times, yet she can still remember most of the lyrics to many of the songs, and can even quote whole secions of the film. Jesus, how many times did I make her watch it?

I then stormed over to Kay's, and true to our usual fashion, we made complete arses of ourselves. Kay fell backwards off her bed in a fantastic display that I actually MISSED as I was facing the other way!!! She broke her tv - rofl, is all I can say to that :P My display of arseness? As I was leaving, I was speaking in a Norfolk accent, as you do, and spectacularly stalled as I was pulling off. I had an audience. Oh fuck it. Watched The Fourth Kind with Timmy, who assured me that the film would scare me. Um, no. It didn't. The real footage looked fake and it was all really badly cut together. The only thing that shook me up a little, was the fact that the aliens (stay with me) would appear to the victims as these uber creepy owls that weren't owls! Let's just say I didn't fear sleeping in my caravan - usually my imagination would be thinking up a little abduction senario as I was watching it. Nope :)

So, without fearing abduction or so much of a slight disturbance (apart from a hideous dream about an arson attack. I wasn't in the thing as it burned, it was just horrific as all my manga is in there!!!) I settled for some sleep. Ever been woken by your room shaking violently? (if you DIDN'T sleep through that earthquake, unlike me, then maybe you have. But hush.) Christ, I had no idea what was going on, and did some more screaming. Again, no one stirred in the house. God help me if something ever does happen and all I've got to save me is a witless greyhound that's about as intimidating as a rabbit with the word 'boo' painted on its nose (Sorry Blackadder, but I like that one and am feeling rather uncreative in my cruelty). Mum woke me asking if I wanted to come to the garden centre with them. The garden centre full of its Xmas stock. HELL TO THE AMAZING YES!!!

Ohhhhhhh it was soooooo good and pretty and nice and Christmassy and awwwww! I wanted to buy EVERYTHING but I am very much aware of the fact that I have bugger all money to my name. As I said to the others as I got back to the flat, for Christmas this year it's going to be hugs and good will to all. At one point, my mum put a massive hat on, with 'Give me beer' written on it. G filmed her, asking "What would you like for Christmas, Roody?" "lots of nice th-*nudge by Leah, who whispers 'beer'* BEER! XD XD XD" "Not a good rogering?" "SHHHHH!" I died laughing in the middle of the shop. Seriously. Most people would have died of embarassment, but I loved it. I joined in in the next video - mum put a different hat on and started jigging along to a song. Low and behold, guess who gets filmed also and does some dancing of her own? Be prepared to see Leah as you've never seen her before on here shortly.

Ah, 1st train Spalding to Peterborough. Oooh! It's actually early! Ah well, a half hour wait till the train is fine, I'm sure. I wandered to the platform, but on the way, I was accosted by a homeless bloke, who naturally asked for money. I said no, of course, as I'm so poor I could almost sit down next to him and join in. He then GRABBED MY LEG! OMFG! "Um, what are you doing!?!?" "I want some money!!" "Well, I don't have any and you're starting to scare me now! O________O" Just then, a group of soldiers came running over, one of them giving me a massive bear hug, crying "Sorry to keep you waiting, darling! Have you been waiting long?" And the 4 of them formed a barrier between me and the smelly madman, who looked truely terrified. To keep up appearances I had to walk down to the platform with them, but then after an ENORMOUS amount of thanks, they buggered off :( I could have used them for the next 50 minutes or so, as my next train was MASSVELY delayed. A lot.

I worked out that the leisurely 40 minute stroll I had waiting for me at the next station had turned in to a 2 minute dash. IF I was extremely lucky. I arrived at the station to discover that ALL the electric signs were down and so I was sprinting blindly over a footbridge hoping that the one I was heading for stationed the correct train. I was doing fine, until some absolute ARSE thought it would be FINE to stop in the MIDDLE OF THE STAIRWAY and check her fucking text messages!! Without even pausing for breath I screamed "Move out of the FUCKING WAY!!!!" Earning me a cheer from an old woman also running alongside me. I may not look it, but I am bloody fast when I want to be, but it does very nearly kill me. I stampeded on to the platform to a bloke crying "Come on, love! You've got 30 seconds!!!" "This....Train....Derby?" "Yeah it does" "Wait....Woman... Board... There!" And somehow still found the energy to leap on.

Arriving in Derby I was faced with pouring raing and very little hope. My phone finally died in Peterborough and my Ipod died in Leicester (which is one saving grace as I wasn't tempted to listen to it on the walk home) and I couldn't even put my hood up as I needed all my fields of vision. I was going to get soggy. I knew the chance of attack were slim - I'm a big girl (not in the sense that I'm a big girl and my mummy even lets me cross the road on my own, but in the sense that I am not psyically small) and not many people would see me as an easy target. I also walked fast, but a a pace that I could easily speed up if need be, and checked behind me constantly and so rapidly I'm surprised I didn't get wiplash. I also played a fun game with myself, in that I gaged how threatening people appeared to be. For example, woman grappling with own umbrella? V little threat. Foreign couple arguing? Only a threat if I look at them the wrong way. Group of men smoking outside Westfields? Threatening if altogether, but all look pretty weedy and would be pathetic on own. Man who very obviously passed me and then changed direction so he was now behind me? Extreme threat, so much so I ran in to the Bell End and slipped out so I was now behind him.

It was good to get back to the flat with the girlies. Although I looked less like one of the girlies and more like one of the Goonies. If they went in to the sewer. Smexy. Some fab banter, including Laura's hilarious unintentional slagging of Hayley - she wants to, in her own words, get thin and sexy for when she sees Ben on Saturday. I looked at her and said 'um, tahdah?' and Laura simply stated 'That will take a miracle!' ROFL!! When preparing my hot drink for watching Moulin Rouge, I discovred my milk went out of date today, so I drank a load straight from the almost full bottle. As I was putting it in to my tea, it curdled. oh my godddddddddd I feel siiiiiiiick and so so rough! Ah well - lectures tomorrow (how thrilling, and obviously not the reason I am happy about tomorrow) I get some more gossips XD XD