As hideous as it seems, I can still taste the hideous noodles I attempted to make the other day. Basically, salt water. Ugh ugh ugh... I feel physically sick just thinking about it. But thanks to Liss and her random asda trip I was able to eat brekkie wih Hayley, and by Brekkie I mean a Nom yoghurt. Duh. A certain someone has gone too far - Lissi's section on the white board had 'I have a *crudely drawn cock*' It wasn't me, Hayley or Laura, and it certainly wasn't Lissi. Who does that leave? Oh yeah. Bring it on, bitch!
Jackass 3D with Jadey, but first, a short embarrassing interlude. I had to buy a pregnancy test (not mine. REPEAT: not mine. Remember the whole 'not had sex for months thing? Yeah, it still stands. Fuuuuuuuck. Although obviusly, not me ¬¬ Anyway where was I?) and even though nothing embarrasses me, this did because EVERY SINGLE BUGGER IN THE DAMN STORE heard the sales assistant SCREAM "PREGNANCY TESTS?!?! RIGHT OVER HERE, DARLING!!!!" when I meekly asked her where I could find them. This required the purchase of a decoy. Soooo I was paying, right at the front of a massive queue (obviously. I wouldn't be a the back of the queue or something. Berk.) and they got scanned, and 'PREGNANCY TEST STRIPS' appeared on the till screen in the biggest letters known to humanity. Scan the decoy, SCAN THE DECOY! Would it scan? of course not, and she had to go get someone. All the while with the phrase of death screaming from the till and people looking at me with pity. Fuck you!
Scared Jade and my aunt shitless when I popped up behind them in the 99p store buying sweeties and sweeties. OH. MY. GOD! The film was HILARIOUS! We were screeching with laughter the entire way through! My fave bit was ever so simple - Chris Pontius was dressed as a woman (a very good woman, actually) having a bit of a meal with Preston, which was lol in itself, but it was when Dave England (the surnames are necessary ¬¬) came to serve them, he got blown away by the wind generated by a plane engine. And Johnny Knoxville got his top off. Often. Do me. A LOT! Corrrr the body on that one is an ultimate win~!
Came home and washed basically all of my clothes. I was seriously low on clean clothes. And underwear - I found underwear I forgot I owned. My room smells of cleanness now XD But I soon had to leave for work, standing up my own daddy :( but who came in to the hotel to see me anyway. ^_^ I spent most of the evening serving and being the awesomes, of course. And sniggering manically - it was the 'would you care to try the wine, sir?' *tries it* '...Yes.' and 'anything else sir?' 'an expresso please, just an expresso' *wife* 'an expresso? Just before bed????' I had literally lived through an exact replication of a Michael Mcintyre observation!
My shift came to an end and my night went spectacularly downhill. I had been feeling a little odd all night - can't really explain it, but just really off and rundown. Stupidly, I was walking home alone. I reached a car park, well lit etc... And woke up there about 3 minutes later, freezing, confused and completely petrified. No one had come across me as I lay there, thankfully, as I still had all my valuables, no puncture wounds on my body and no come stains on my trousers. So I hadn't been robbed, stabbed or raped as I lay there.
I feel really weird still. I don't really understand where I am or what's going on. I think this calls for sleep. P.s. are fingenails meant to turn blue without the aid of varnish? I thought not O________O
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