Tonight I am unwillingly paying homage to the King of Zombie films, Mr George Romero (I love his films. A lot. Although the more modern ones, namely Land of the Dead are um... shite, to be quite honest) - I started work at 9 o'clock this morning, and have just walked through the door to my room. It is midnight. Ughhhhhh I haaaaaate it! I'm still in my uniform, even wearing my hat simply because I can't be arsed to move (or maybe my legs would give way anyway, who knows.)
Despite the hideously long shift, today was hilarious. My lisp is still well and truely hanging around (which reminds me of a friend of mine's Bebo tee hee :P I know he reads this - we should catch up some time ^^) and naturally I got put on drive through, as I am the drive through Queen. The speaker system is shite anyway and people can hardly hear at the best of times, so it was destined to be a disaster. Surprisingly though, more people were able to understand me today then ever before, apart from one woman who bellowed at me for not being able to say the number '3' and so when she saw me at the window she turned white (for some reason I put on a limp too) and said what a wonderful job I was doing.
That's what today was all about - customers thinking I had something wrong with me and being V helpful and pleasant, which made a nice change for some of them. Although one bloke went too far by counting the exact change in to my hand, saying 'There you are, love. The E-X-A-C-T -C-H-A-N-G-E there for you so you don't need to strain yourself counting change' and then RUBBED MY HEAD!!!!! My witty reply, (as always) was leaning in really close to his face and whispering 'Sir, I have a lisp due to a tongue piercing and nothing more. Thanks for patronising me - it's nice to see how you would single out people who are different o you. And also, I'd like you to know that unwanted physical contact will result in further action. Spazz or not. Have a nice day now!! ^^"
Although my collegues and regulars thought it was hilarious trying to understand me - one of my fave customers said, when I apologised for talking 'like a mong' "Well, yes you are, but it's not really any different to usual. Last time we came through you sang 'I am a Rock' in a chipmunk voice and fell over a box of pepsi.' Am I really that much of a twat? Blatantly.
Speaking of blatant twattish behaviour, I put the wooden frame from my bed outside the back door, where it has been for the past week and i not exactly inconspicuous but I still managed to trip on it as I walked out the door and faceplanted the floor magnificantly. There was an inprint in the gravel. Niiiiice.
I has work again tomorrow, which made me all glum until I came back from work to find postage from student Finance, giving me the totals of the grants I'm going to recieve at uni and OOOOOOOOMGGGGGGG it's sooooo high! (Yeah, my family would be described by some as 'povvo', despite the 4 cars and 2 boats etc....) I know I will just spend most of it on dvds and books liek I usually do and have to live of supermarket brand foodstuffs. I'm planning a beer and crab-stick sandwiches diet for uni. My mum did it while she was divorcing my dad and she lost about 3 stone in a year and kept it off, and I need to remain relatively thin at uni, or I will get depressed. Although mine will probably be alcopops and salmon stakes (I can't get enough of salmon - nom nom nom!!) Luckily my weight loss hasn't resulted in the loss of my boobs, which was the main reason why I stopped trying to lose weight a few years back so s'all good in the hood.
Hopefully working every day and running around all the time, on top of my daily exercise routine (pffft! what a load of shite! i.e. laptop and playstation - finger stimulation haha now that reads well ^^) and the fact that a)I don't eat much in the summer, b)my portion sizes are tiny and c)I'm not eating anything at all at the moment will lead to an even slimmer Leah. Hopefully this Leah will actually hold some appeal to a guy, unlike her last FUCKER who cheated on her with a heffalump of about 30 stone. VOM-MIT! Yeah, still not taking that so well. If a man can say 'God damn it, there's no way on Earth you can be anymore perfect physically and appealing mentally' and then go and shag an unappealing, both physically and mentally, lump of UGH then there's something not right there. Maybe this is coming across as bitter, but when you are with someone that long and love someone as much, it takes twice as long to get over.
Plus he used my lovebites as an excuse to hide the needle marks on his neck when he ran out of places to inject his sordid little habit he had no idea I knew about. Hate is such a strong word - but yes, I think I do hate him. I even took his daughter under my wing and got bugger all in return apart from a load of debts and broken promises. A word of advice? If you think you love someone enough to ignore their bad habits, and make excuses then get out. Fast. If one person doubts him, you should heed their warning and you will avoid looking a fool and a loser and not have to put up with the 'I told you so' repetition.
Ah well, I'm sure a time will come when I won't be fucked around, although I'll probably be dead by the time that happens... sigh...
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