No, I am not a slag. Ahahaha... If what I just saw on Russel Howard's Good News is true, then James must be living for 27 years longer judging on how much he did last night. Yes - staring at boobs makes you live longer. Not only that, but taking off a bra can save lives.
Attempting to watch The Shining at one in the morning was fail, so I actually went to bed (I know! WTF?!?) but some absolute BITCH came home at 6 in the morning SCREEEEEEEAMING about something. Thanks love. I was awake for an hour - I think. I might have dreamed it. I also dreamt that I sent an amazing reply to a text from Adam. I am fail, to be quite honest.
When my alarm eventually went off I snoozed it. A lot. This is because I was still drunk. Ugh. When I finally started to move I walked in to my bathroom door. Twice. What the actual fuck? I was hoping to play the 'I am so ill and sick and ill and I might collapse again' card at work. I just got a 'hello Leah! there's someone already upstairs, so up you go!' Charming. As I was stripping (in le stock room, ooer) another worker whom I've never met before came in. I was in nothing but a thong. I didn't notice him come in for ages. Now whenever he sees me he grins and looks at my arse. Brilliant. What a fabulous first impression. Naff off with the arse looking thing!
The day only got better from then on. Ha. I don't quite know what to make of Stephen. Sometimes he is able to look me in the eye and have a civil conversation with me, but most of the time he is either looking at my chest (healthy bloke) and trying to get me to eat meat. Dude, does the fact that I am ALLERGIC to it not make you think that's a bad idea?!? Or staring at my arse and making me do things for him (Oh hang on, that sounds so wrong. I meant get stock and stuff!) So I had to deal with him ¬¬ Luckily Shelly, Jono and Toyah were there too, Jono especially as he stopped me from physically smacking this fucking BITCH in her fat face!
The customers in Derby are a new breed of ARSEHOLE. The Smack woman wanted 2 kids meals, both with leg pieces. She wasn't allowed. She ignored when I said that and went on to order a 2 piece meal for herself (My God, aren't you just a wonderful mother?) She wanted 2 breast pieces (teehee lesbian) my God, she was so RUDE. I told her she wasn't allowed about 19 times. Each time she asked me why, but as I began to explain why she'd turn away and talk to her friend. She was just soooo fucking rude it was unreal. I was shaking I was so angry, and was so STRESSED. Eventually she was just going "I don't need your explanation, just give me the food I want!" "Madame, if you care to listen I am telling you that you CAN NOT HAVE WHAT YOU WANT! Therefore, I am unable to GIVE YOU THE FOOD YOU WANT SO YOU CANNOT HAVE THE FOOD YOU WANT." It was only Jono coming up behind me (ooer) that stopped me leaping over the counter at her.
Therefore I was extremely happy when Becky took me in to the office to do a test. A test I have done in my entire KFC career literally 3 times now. I score 100% every time, of course. I had a lovely time in the market blagging all the stuff I needed to finish Lissi's pressie. Still need to pay for the main part, actually. Ah well. I will do. With what money?!"? O_O Maybe the money from my new job, as as soon as I get a new one my notice is being written and I'm being transfered back to Lynn.
The Shining is a hysterical film. Seriously. It's soooo shite! Don't get me wrong, Jack Nicolson is amazing! But I really can't blame Jack/'Johnny' for wanting to kill his wife. Her accent and stupid massive eyes just grated on my every sense. Well, sight and sound. Not so much any of the others. Still a completely annoying bitch. His face at the end made me die laughing - you know, when he's dead in the snow the morning after? Tee hee!
And so now I am sat in my dad's living room, wearing the new boots my mummy sent me and that I love ^____________^ watching Takeshi's Castle. Spent the evening talking about house prices and the housing market, which actually wasn't that boring - I felt really grown up actually being able to understand what was going on this time, having been way too young to give a flying fuck on all the previous occasions we have moved house. That is a lot of moves, by the way. I've lived in about 16 different houses now. ¬¬ Dear God what is wrong with me though? I enjoyed talking about house prices? I'm so grown up I have a pension and zimmer frame. No thanks. I like being nom ( I wish...)
Haha, you're funny! Stephen should make up his mind whether he prefers your arse or your tits. An indecisive man is a weak one.
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