Friday 29 October 2010

We Met His FACE!!!

Being woken by the pain of that crippling virus at 7 in the morning was wonderful, and was made even better by being woken by the same pain again at 9. Tis a good thing I was woken at 9 - I got a text from Jadey telling me I had an interview at le hotel at 2 in le afternoon (why have I gone all continental? O_O) She went on to say that I was actually going to be interviewed on wednesday but I buggered off because I didn't know this was the case.

I attempted to do some more of that sleeping stuff, you know, to prevent yawning or fainting during interview. When I eventually did emerge, in the dark, I trod on my shirt from last night. That did actually scare me ever so slightly. God damn I am a bit of a pussy tbh. Poor Beckie popped round to pick up a shirt from Lissi - I say poor Beckie because she got to see Leah The Sex Goddess - morning edition. Yup, bed head, makeupless, no bra and xl man shirt and shorts. Lucky, lucky her...

Long story short - after spazzing out about the interview for aaaaaaaaaaages, I instantly got the job. GET IN THERE MY SON! Seriously though - those 2 days I didn't have a job were truely terrifying. When attempting to get moneys out for a piercing (with Jade, to celebrate/because we are addicted to them and weird. Speaking of weird, when I got the job I instantly rang Jade and screamed down the phone at her. Some old couple actually stopped walking along the round to stand and stare at me. Well isn't that pleasant?) one of my cards wasn't working, so cue a HUGE PANIC and sprint to the bank. My new card is on the way, FFS...

And so, after heading back to the flat and washing up and grabbing possibly the heaviest textbooks I own I waited for Jadey, whom I saw coming and instantly made scream with laughter with my announcement that all I could see when she was walking towards me was a big pair of bouncing bosoms. Anyways, as we headed to Salamanders to get our £10 piercings, I felt like I was betraying Jade. It was fine though as she was right next to me and was getting one too. I settled on having my tragus done, and very much enjoyed watching A Nightmare On Elm Street while waiting ^_^ We went all the way upstairs, had our piercings, loved them and wandered back downstae hadn't even reached the bottom step before I'd decided to have my other tragus pierced aswell. Ah well - who needs food?

We popped to Standing Order for chippy chips, of course, and scared many an old person with our v loud conversations. Her description of a Koala bear's worried face had me almost on the floor in tears of laughter. Then off to Home Bargains to stock up on cheap booze for tomorrow night ^________^ People that know me well enough will know that when I find something extremely funny, i find it hard not to laugh. Jade got IDed by the obvious trainee tiller, as she had a man old bat stood behind her the entire time. After her lecture about IDing EVERYONE WHO COMES IN THE STORE, I decided I'd help the girl out and show her my ID. What did stupoid patronising trainer lady say? "Do you know what you're looking for?" OMG I almost errupted when the girl bluntly replied "Date of birth" What else do you look for when IDing someone? Just check out their pic and have a bit of a giggle? Jesus...

I wanted to run to asda in time to meet Mr Mcintyre!!! As we got off the bus, it seemed like every bugger wanted to slow us down. We arrived just after half 5, to be greeted by the grumpiest arsey staff members in the world, who said they couldn't guarantee that Michael would sign them - this got us slightly pissed. Why would they keep letting people queue if Michael was going to bugger off at some point? As the queue snaked its way round the store, we came close to the signing area. I caught a glimpse of Michael's hair and had a slight spazz attack. There he was! His FACE and the rest of him was just over there. And we needn't have worried about him buggering off before seeing everyone - as he himself said "Of course I'm going to sign them all, that's what I'm here for!"

Due to the huge demand for his attention, we weren't allowed to stop him signing to pose for pictures, which was fair enough. We watched as some random ginger bloke sat down next to him. He then stood up and Michael bellowed in his face "who the hell are you?!?" which was funny on its own, before he giggled and meekly said to us "He just sat down next to me :(" Some fat fuck was so fat he had to bring a chair to sit on while in the queue. I say it was a chair, but it was more like a small bench.

Eventually we were able to purchase our books and instantly died laughing when we started to read it - the man is just too funny! And then it happened! Kitty, his wife and who is possibly one of the nicest people I've ever met, ushered me forward and there he was! The first thing he did was apologise for keeping me waiting for a million years, before saying "Hi I'm Michael. This is my book *signs it* And this is me *draws a little arrow with 'me' written next to it on the front cover*" And wished me well. I. LOVE. HIM! He is so nice! Honestly one of the sweetest men in the world, and so humble! Love love love love!!! Oh, he was so nice!

Jade took some pics of us while I was meeting him. There is a shot of a very shocked Michael looking at me, with an expression on his face that my Aunt went on to say looked like he'd seen a massive pair of bosoms home in to view. And there we have it! The lovely Michael Mcintyre. Who is lovely. ^______________^ Gracie had a bloke round (oooer) and Aunty Sam told us as she was picking us up that he was holding an erection pillow. When we went in to see them, I noticed that Grace also had an erection pillow. Epic win FTW.

I love Mr Mcintyre. He is lovely - and buy his book, it is sooooooo funny!!

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