CLEANSING MILK!

Last night was a good night, as The Black Eyed Peas always say tonight will be. At half 6 I went to pick up Jade from work so we could go and do drinking things in town. Dan was due to pick us up from the taxi rank by the Assembly rooms, but naturally we were stood in the wrong place. We stood there long enough for me to do my 'sexy' 'Start On Monday' dance for the drivers, who started heckling us. O_O
Niiiiace.

Minced around asda for a bit to buy boozes and that. Ended up hiding a bottle of caribbean twist in a box of tissues. Don't ask. ¬¬ Then ended up chatting to Aunty Sam for donkies about ye olden times (whilst knocking back the booze, of course) we ended up missing a load of buses in to town.... While waiting for the bus we had a massive photo sesh - while practically raping a bus stop sign I got my heel stuck in the mud, and felt the need to point it out for the purpose of Jade, who probably couldn't see it as she was laughing so hard. A van load of grubby old men in a van went past and shouted and waved, sexually of course. We were both stunned. They then went past again. O_O Then another car honked and someone waved, so I began to mouth off at them. It was Aunty Sam. Woops...

Teetered on the bus to be greeted by 2 chavs who instantly began shouting stuff at us. I got called a MILF. Yeah. Of course. Know the meaning of that word? Clearly not. I made a point of loudly talking to Jade about her 'boyfriend' (who I made up) and about how he worked as a bouncer and was coming out tonight to make sure no douchebags heckled us. She, as the lightweight she is, loudly replied "Oh no, he used to be a TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ¬¬ "... Not... quiiiite the effect I was going for here, Jade, but we'll ignore it for now." As the TWATS got off the bus they said "Hey, how would you 2 like to suck my dick?" "You wish" said Jade, but the one that made her literally fall off her seat, was my reply: "What dick?" ^_^

Off to Standing Order. I fancied chips. Chips and a Woo woo pitcher ftw But Blue Note was still shut, so I FINALLY got to go to the Bellend, ahem, I mean Inn. I have wanted to go there since I was about 9 years old, ever since I found out it was haunted. Shame I went there to do drinking and not ghosthunting. Ah well, can't win them all. We met this lovely girl who was roaring drunk but kept complimenting us, which was lovely ^_^ Even though she was majorly pissed, it was nice to hear someone say I have pretty eyes, a stranger no less... despite being female.. ¬¬ Having spoken to her since, she did mean it XD

Got chatting to some bloke outside Bluenote, who then proceeded to get roaring drunk extremely quickly and came on to us. A LOT. To give you a taster, and prehaps to solidify what teenage magazines will tell you, a man will lie about loving you to get sex. I know this because that bloke started by asking me to strip, then attempted to take my top off, which earned him a smack round the face. This didn't stop him though - he then said, and I quote, "I love you. Let's have sex" Denined. ¬¬ So girlies - men will lie, and that is hideous. So just do what I did - a swift kick between the legs and a word with the bouncers will sort him out. Although he tried to nick a girl's handbag on his way out.

By this point, Jade was completely off her face, screaming 'It's CLEANSING MILK' and rubbing my face (from Diddy Dick and Dom, nd is actually hilarious) so we headed to Mosh. It was in Mosh where I FINALLY began to feel the effects of the drinks, at last, and also where a guy almost sucked my tongue bar off. O_O Yucks. He then got my number from Jade, and spent the remainder of the night calling me. FUCK OFF! Dan found my rhyming at some twats sitting on a bench extrememly hilarious - last time I saw him I was 15. He found it really odd that I'm now an adult and can drink, drive (not all at once) and have actually got even more hilarious.

Ughhhh lectures... I genuinely fell asleep in the last lecture, but woke up in time to win a fiver from Sam - I was able to spot the most errors in the referencing list in the class. No, I didn't get out the notes I made last time about how to reference properly. No, not at all. Chillaxed with Lissi and Hayley in le kitchen and Lissi did some dancing - she was the awesomes! ^_^ REally want to see River Dance now, though... :( Was so bored I ended up watching the first Bean movie. As much as I love Rowan Atkinson, Mr Bean is retarded. And not in a 'so retarded it's funny' way. in a 'OMG why the hell is this funny? His character is retarded in more ways than one'. I hate that bugger...