My mummy came to visit today! Oh, it was so good to see her! It's been a month! How have I lasted this long?!?! She said she'd get here at about 11, so I set my alarm for about half 10, knowing quite well that she wouldn't actually get here at 11. It was about 12 when she did get here, with Timmy and Chris in tow (oh Christ) Chris said about 2 words to me and I instantly wanted to slap him. Thankfully, they were buggering off to the football. Win.
Ahhhh post :) My insider card for le cinema and MANGA MANGA MANGA! Thank God! I need my manga! Reading it online just isn't the same. And loads of other boring stuff too, like textbooks for uni and that. I should prehaps mention the huge amount of food she brought for me, including Innocent Smoothie. Woah, we're pushing the boat out there a little in't we? And my dvds. Hunchback - more Tom Hulce! I knew I knew that voice.... Good ol' Amadeus. LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE!
We eventually wandered in to town to dump the boys on dad and also to meet the Aunt and cousins for Ladies That Lunch (plus Ben, who as my mum bellowed at him, is not a lady. OMG NO WAYYYYY!) Before they arrived we wandered around the little set of stally things selling continental foods and that. We saw a woman staring with great intent at a completely empty stall. For 5 minutes. I counted. We then tried some oil (with BREADDAGE TO DIPPAGE!!!) I had a lemon one, because it's lemon. I didn't hold my hopes up - I ate it, then literally screamed 'YUCK' at the poor guy behind the counter. We eventually saw the group waiting by the fountain, and just as we got close they buggered off. ¬¬
None of them answered my calls, nor heard my cry of "OI! GILLAMS AND NOBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But eentually caught up with them in Standing Order. So called because you must stand and order, as we found when there were no free tables. There was a bloke in a booth on his own. WTF?!?! We definitely needed the booth we eventually got judging by the amounts of screeching we did. I know I've said this before, but my family is hilarious. It's these 2 generations that are the funniest, and so when we all get together we all die. As odd as that may sound, but I meant die laughing. Tools...
We went to Lush, having previously had discussions about how you get attacked by sales assisstants every5 seconds. Grace and I made a beeline to these pots of funny goo. We were perplexed by them for all of 2 seconds before this guy literally popped up next to me. "Oh! I see you've found the facemasks! Have you ever tried one of our facemasks before?" "Ohhhh that's what they are! No, I can't say I have" "It's easy! You just put it on your face, leave it for a bit then wash it off!" ¬¬ Um. Yeah, I'm not retarded mate! When our mothers finally caught up with us all hell broke loose and they had to leave shortly afterwards due to laughing so hard and disrupting the whole shop. The best one? We were smelling the perfumes and there was one called 'The Smell Of Freedom' which was vile. My mum exclaimed that if that's what freedom smelled like she would stay in captivity. The experience ended when I found a load of creams and kept smearing them on Jade and Grace, claiming they were cleansing milks. This attractced the attention of a sales ass. would came running over and joined in the high-jinks. She then offereed to cleanse our hands (did we really look that dirty?) "Would you like the cleansing spray or cleansing mil-" "FUCKING CLEANSING MILK!!!!" Did she even need to ask?
I then had a very unsuccessful shopping trip - I needed boots and a decent coat. Thanks to my massive man/clown feet, every pair of boots I liked were not in my size. And because of my massive knockers, any coat that came close to being my usual size would not do up over my boobs. I am now a 12 on the bottom, and a 20 on top. This is bordering on the ridiculous. Wait, bordering? I'm so past the border, I've got a job on a sugar plantation and am supporting my family of 17 with a pathetic wage in a house we share with 3 other families. Did I go too far? Maybe. Ah well.
After a v expensive Starbucks we parted ways *sniffle* and headed back to the flat, where I found a note saying our kitchen was crap and they weren't going to clean it unless WE did first. After going off on one, generally screaming and complaining about a certain someone, followed by screaming at Timmy and bitching about horror flatmate I discovered she was in. Shit. Sooooo after shooing them out the door and cooking my fish (I attempted to nuke it to check it was cooked properly, but even waiting for the oven to reach 100 degrees took about 17 years so I was there for an estimated 376863 years in total) I locked myself in my room. I have been in here all night, with only water and my new oreo cookies to comfort me.
Other than that, it was a really good day. Although I really should do some work tomorrow, as I've been slacking lately (so what's new? Well, as you read earlier, not a lot as my body is big in places that make it difficult to buy for ¬¬) and I really would like to get this degree, seeing as I;ve been thinking of getting a PHD for myself... and then getting a further degree. Bwahahaha! ^_^
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