Shockingly, this was not aimed at me! More on that later. Anyways, here is what has become known as the 'Oooh Shot' That's me, the subject of Mr Mcintyre's ooohing ^____^ Notice that my hand is where it would most likely have been - over my mouth, trying to stop myself from doing a terrifying fan girl scream naturally. Also take time to notice hideous dykey woman preventing people from sitting next to him. She was such a fucking kill joy!! With her big smug face "oooh I'm stood next to Michael Mcintyre!!!!" and putting on her best smile cause she knew she'd be in everyone's photos.
It was one of those nights when I go out last night, so sorry there was no blog. But lucky you! (Or not so lucky, depending on which way you look at it) you get a nice long double blog to read! If you've managed to keep up with my blog so far, then this really shouldn't be a problem for you. If you managed to get through the post about the few days surrounding Lissi's buffdee then I congratulate you immensely. I myself find it wonderful, but maybe it's because I was there. Anyways, Where the fuck was I? I'm doing that distraction thing again.
Spent the day at home. I was attempting to do my essay (That I have had mere months to due and have typically left until the week before the deadline before even bringing myself to look at it) and Gracie was attempting to revise for her not-GCSE science exam. Both of us failed miserably - I spent my valuable time reading my wonderful new book and Grace made a video compilation of all the videos we find hilarious. I will have to do the essay in the next 3 days though - the deadline is on friday, but I would like to be gone by thursday night. To my actual home and that.
Eventually, Yujia, Jade's new blokey, came round and my aunt cooked up a nommy roast dinner. This was purely to benefit me as she thought I wouldn't be eating proper meals. She would be correct. For several nights last week I have literally eaten a tin of beans with some cheese and salad cream mixed in. That has been one of my meals (I have, for some unknown reason, run out of naffing super noodles!!!) And then we began the drinking - Ring of Fire, followed by I Have Never. Aunty Sam stuck around to get some gossip, and even provided some of her own! As horrific as many people may think it is to them, but my family is so close-knit that we don't really care about embarassment and stuff like that. I didn't get as fucked as I normally do, seeing as no one in the circle knew ALLLLL my sexual secrets.
Jade spent about 3275683947594387 year roughly to get ready, whereas I literally put a 'shirt' on (A shirt that screamed 'here is my boobs AND arse simaltaneously') and smeared a bit of lipstick round my face. Then I realised that I looked like a complete pillock and wiped a bit off. Normal women at this time of year use the occasion to dress in Ann Summers outfits (Or outfits of that calibre) whereas what do I go as? A fucking zombie. Sexy.
Following a couple of pitchers to myself at Standing Order, we headed over to Blue Note to dance the night away. Nothing major happened, apart from Shona got waaaay too drunk as is normal and came on to anything in the club that had a penis. David called me also, and also was drunk, in order to mourne the closing of Avenue Q after 5 years. At least i got to go see it - He, being a jammy bitch, got to see it 3 times. And I also got too drunk. At least I remained in control, Well, relatively. I'm not proud of myself tbh. After using myself as a human barrier between Yujia and Jade and the bouncers attacking some woman outside Walkabout while we were waiting for the taxi - When we got home I made chicken/quorn, coleslaw and pickle sarnies for everyone and had a chat with Aunty Sam, I settled down with some doritos and dip to watch Celebrity Juice with Grace.
I awoke tired yet not hungover, bizzarely, and nommed toast with Grace. Another lazy day - due to working almost everyday of my life, I haven't had one of those sorts of dfays in ages. So my pjs were staying on all day. Playing Sonic brought all the fab memories of our childhood back and soon we were all cackling in a heap - one of the main hilarities was the story of a 6 year old me and my dad telling me off. "We don't use words like 'penis', Leah" and me telling him matter-of-factly, "I didn't say 'penis' daddy, I said 'anus'!" yujia carved an amazing pumpkin - IT HAS AN OWL ON IT! I FECKING LOVE OWLS!!!!
After cackling hysterically at X Factor and the fact that Katie is a complete twat, Karen (my aunt's 'wife'. I say wife, as they were once married - they signed the schedule and everything! But they are now separated... Yet here she was! I was staring very intently at my phone when she came in) came over and brought sweets, which I happily ate. The conversation turned to droopy cocks for some reason, and i then found myself watching one of the worst porn dvds I have ever seen, featuring a woman from Bristol. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen, and we spent 99% of the fucking thing screaming with laughter and making hilarious observations. This blog title is one of my faves from a skit featuring the main tart having her nipples sucked by two different men. Even though they are both sucking on them, one of the men said to the other "Corrrr, look at the *fake .... with implants are so huge the skin is actually stretched over them* TITS ON THAT!"
To get in to the Halloween spirit, Jade decided to play Silent Hill for us, and so we spent ages reminiscing about the past again. I have been ordered to bring Gex, Croc and Crash with me next time I come over so we can relive our childhoods. This is another thing we discussed - we played games that were so innocent when we were younger, featuring mainly animals going on an adventure to defeat an obvious bad guy trying to destroy the world. The worst thing we ever had to see was maybe a mini enemy getting bopped on the head a bit. What do the kids of today see? Front line warfare and images that imply that stealing cars and beating prostitutes to death is acceptable. the only game we used to play that even came close to mimicking warfare was Hogs Of War, which was just hilarious anyway, and that we are working on trying to get a copy of in order to play again. Jade informs me that Rik Mayall was the voice I used to find hilarious even as a kid. FUCK ME WE ARE GETTING IT!!!
This really does say a lot about society today. Things were much simpler when we were kids. TV, Movies, games, music... everything was just so much better! And the games were actually entertaining and fantasy, instead of showing kids what they should never see. Plus, it gives the wrong impression. You can die as many timnes as you want in COD (not that you'd really want to keep dying, as it is annoying and frustrating) and then just keep redoing the parts over and over. i think this is why Tim wants to join the army so bad - it looks 'cool'. I doubt he'd ever be able to kill someone, he's way too nice for that. Plus, he'd have to shave all his hair off and take his earring out, and he's way too much of a poof to want to do that.
As we were getting drawn in to the land of Silent Hill, the lid of the pumpkin suddenly fell through and put the candle out. Turns out that the candle had partially cooked the lid and made it shrink to about half its size. This thud not only scared us slightly shitless, but made the room smell lovely. I has a work induction thing tomorrow, which is both terrifying and exciting. FINALLY I CAN WEAR MY PIERCINGS AT WORK! Which is a good thing seeing as I have JUST had my tragus pierced on both ears and my clear nose stud had somehow been wittled in to a very sharp point that practically pierces the middle of my nose as soon as anything comes in to contact with the outside of it. And Beauty and the Beast FINALLY comes out on dvd tomorrow, so I get the feeling that movie night on tuesday will be featuring that. Much to Laura's annoyance - she doesn't like it for reasons best known to herself O_____O whyyyyyy?! It's lovely!
Gonna do some Blackberry exploring before doing some of that sleeping stuff I so crave. Busy day tomorrow - although not filled with rollerskating as initially intended. That will follow next week ^___^
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