The Rise Of Chuckles ^^

This is meant to be yesterday's blog, but due to sheer tiredness and getting in at 2 this morning, I thought I might post it now instead. Today's blog will follow this, so all my loyal readers (if you actually exist. Or maybe you're like Ordinary Boys fans - you don't exist.)

Soooo, today was the day of my first London visit! After waking Claxton at some unGodly hour in order for her to be an absolute star and save us bout £80 on some attractions and Tim was an arse and had used all the ink up in our printer so we lacked the voucher. So Claxton to the rescue!!! We arrived in Lynn and parked ages away from the station to save money, but only left 5 minutes to get the damn train. I'm pretty fast when I want to be, so I stampeded through town at high speed, throwing old women and chilren out of the way as I passed. When I arrived at the station in time, the train was delayed. Fucking typical.

The train ride was hilarious, until some hideous bloke wearing extremely short, tight trousers sat opposite me. First he crossed his legs and crushed my own against Tim, which was lovely of him, and then he opened his legs to a hideously wide distance and trod ALL OVER MY BAG full with my digital camera, DS, phone etc. AND broke the handle. Twat. Then some cheeky bitch stood behind me and started reading my Heat magazine *does song* and my texts over my shoulder. Bint. So I started 'texting' Tim saying 'I bought a lovely magazine that myself and some random are currently enjoying. Is that nosey bitch still reading? Fuck off and buy your own!' - she moved away after that ^^

I made friends with the 'Zombie' while we were waiting to go in to the Tower Bridge Experience. He greeted me by standing very close to me while I was facing the other way and screeching in my ear. Charming. The tour itself was hilarious - a world of actors from different London eras. They called on a 'leader' by the name of Brownlow to take part in a few of the little sketches. The woman at the beginning chose Tim, who is usually an actor but was about as animated as a bit of wood and was blatantly not listening to the poor actors trying to get something back from him.

Mum got chosen by an actor too, an actor who unfortunately started talking to her about poo, so naturally we were both in absolute stitches. I had to bite my hand the entire time he was talking - I felt that screeching with laughter would ruin the atmosphere he was trying to create. I was still doing it as we were leaving the room, to which the bloke cried 'Are you alright, Chuckles?' a name which the lovely Martin (whose Blogtastic blog is just that, so check it out) used to call me, so that slightly made my day.

I then had to lead a conga line of about 30 people through a pitch black 'tomb' full of hanging things and actors jumping out etc. I'm not easily scared, but put me in a dark room with things making me jump and I WILL scream - and I had to deal with it all first, so people would hear me and know what was coming. Chris, who is scared of his own shadow, was holding on to my shoulders. I got out with wet patches and claw indents on the damn things from him holding on so tightly. The line suddenly became about 50 people - how the actual hell?? I was doing fine until I popped in to a room with a MASSIVE clown model moving, which was bad enough, but then there was an actual clown sat in the corner laughing hysterically and 'shooting' me with jets of air. That is my worst nightmare - a bloody clown shooting me. A fear of clowns is rather embarassing, but I actually cried when I got out of the room. David knows all about this - when a clown toy appeared on the screen during Toy Story 3 I leapt out of my seat and made his day. Tit.

I then bought basically EVERYTHING on offer in Candem Market! Totoro, Deathnote... it was Japan crazy! I actually turned in to an anime character - i did some weird sort of high-pitched gasp and grabbed my face and wiggled a lot. I swear you could see the sparkles coming from my eyes ^^ I spent a lot of money. Never mind. I have a Totoro to hang in my car, so I'm good XD

Finally, we paid about £40 for a ghost/history walk, though we were 'walking' so fast it was more of a ghost run, and yet it still took 2 hours. My poor 'feet'. They were more like bloody padding at the bottom of snapped twigs by the end o the night. I mentioned the price because there was a couple on the walk too, about 30-40 years old, who would NOT stop kissing and sucking and fondling and stroking and groping and squeezing... at one point, the bloke was BITING her boobs. WHILE she was telling the entire group a story. Ultimately, we had just paid £40 to watch a middle aged couple fuck, which distracted from the history a bit. They were slow in catching up as we moved on "were are those two?" asked our lovely Irish tourguide "They're coming" replied the whole group. "Quite literally" replied myself and my mother.

When told a story about a serial killer, just after Jack the Ripper, our ex-actor tourguide posed a question. A question that only 3 people had ever got correct in 11 years of the walk, 2 of them being 12 year old boys. If we answered correctly, we were simply brilliant. We had 2 minutes to guess as much as we could - "As Mr Murderer Blokey stood at the gallows, his last words were interrupted by the trapdoor opening. What 3 words did he say?" I instantly said "I am Jack". I got it right. I am a 12 year old boy. And simply brilliant wooo!